struggling

Feeling lost beyond the bend

I offer my Dua to clear my heart

To allow Allah to bear witness to my pain

To perhaps bring an ease

To this Insanity

Finally does everyone see

That with this my darkness wins

To cut and bleed

Devouring for insanity

This is me

I want to stop quivering

May this happen if it's deemed d

If not

I no longer want to fight the fight

As I am me

Nicely seemly free

The abyss is here

Ready to drag you in

The darkness follows

Do you know

That emptiness is here

Beyond Bliss

Do not worry

For Allah is by your side

Drifting

The desire is near, is it time to blame?

Reckon what is right within the light

Time to say, with the chaos of the heart as we hear doom

Are we ready?

I feel lost with the abyss, ready the blade

To suffer, blustering to the brim

To scream for blackness reckons me

Happening now then everywhere

Illusions of the heart terror Bliss hope worry

Am I lost?

I feel so

I want to be free but I find myself a slave

The devouring

Ripping The reality

The addiction to the artificial bliss

Here I am wanting nothing but pure sanity

I am lost, not knowing the known

Stars far from thee

 daring to glide into the comso 

beyond nothing but knowing there isnt yet hope 

that we find ourselves longing wanting to know the unknown and we find that only one has that

 here we be our minds and galaxies that be are haunting me having nothing but a fit scrambled beyond repair 

yes I dare to come here wanting needing earning beating into the heart

dare this be what needed so inshallah

 we be right upon the deen in this dunya

 so do dkhr dua and salat and hope will be near

No Loser

 Scream and shout

To let the chaos out

Upon these deeds

Destined for me, conquer the abyss

Is this a reality?

Murmer here there everywhere

Shine so brightly, chaos of the deed

I am in need, to conquer the darkness

What is needed? Lost within hope

Will I ponder and wander only to patter

Pitter patter yes those patterns

Everywhere there here and where

Company of the bliss thats gone to a bust

Bang boom doom, is there room?

Consusion of the deeds, do I really need

Scattered bursting to the rim

Where I am to go?

Left Right North South 

Standing, falling into insanity

Here being, is this right?

Lost but no loser...

Let Chaos be

 Trying to blend in

Trying to mend the bend

There being uncontrolable feeling

Having not one but three muruming

Lost with hope, time to see

What is next?

Try to smile, you need it

I try to shine, but I reckon they murmuring

Getting me so down

Up we go, a hole in somethat that counters

Ready the mask, to breath while I sleep

Oxygen

Breath, sleep, have the melody

In my dreams, I smile everso lightly

Ready to shine beyond the insanity

Waking for the best of deeds

Fighting the chaos in the hurt, letting the monster be

Stuck with me, and I scream every so slightly

Happiness but this, smile but a kindness

Hoping that a deadly deed isnt needed

To let it slumber the beast with us

Let it be, let it be

Ready To Go

 Where am I?

I find myself lost, on the edge

Wandering into the galaxies 

Star sprinkled bliss, ready to show you the way

Walking into the abyss, I'm left here pondering

Shall I shout and shout shout and scream it all out

Deadly deeds have arrived

Countering deaths deadly deed

Blood soak skin, will the flow ever stop

I am here, inside my head screaming for the forces to let me go

I want to be free, I never am

For hope is lost, at the moment dead inside

I reckon

Help me, no one cares

I am stuck in insanity, let that deem whats for me

I scream as the insanity bleeds into thy soul

I ready to let go, why must it be this way

Confusion of the heart mind and soul

Ready set go, another day, and another time

Bliss here there and everywhere

Just got to find a flake or too

I am ready to end this all, but I stop myself

There this time, I will stop

The devourer doesnt listen

To hate self, to maybe love self

To reach out, let go

Happiness is but an illusion of the heart

Depression is real and its ready to deal

Darkness leads to the abyss

Then it sucks thy soul

I am ready to let go

Though I am bounded by my emotions

Shall I rip tear to not care

I swear I do, even with a gaping hole in my soul

Now ready to let go

Please God save me from myself

Lets Go!

Ready To Lose

 I am Lost

Here I am being

Ripping my flesh and consuming

What will come of it

As a million stars scream

As the universe deems

I am here, pondering upon sanity

It always gets me, turning me upside down

Rip tear consume, ready set go

My left arm twitches now, for what

Nothing but the desire, the devouring is here

Ready set go, tick tack on the bend

As the tear drop, a million feeling

Ruptured, readying the blade

To slice and dice

Ready set go, hand me a knife

Ready to slit the flesh and consume

Dirty deeds, ready to feel

Chaos of the heart, needing to bleed

Crimson red bleeding here

Ready set go, I dont know what to do

I fucked