Let Chaos be

 Trying to blend in

Trying to mend the bend

There being uncontrolable feeling

Having not one but three muruming

Lost with hope, time to see

What is next?

Try to smile, you need it

I try to shine, but I reckon they murmuring

Getting me so down

Up we go, a hole in somethat that counters

Ready the mask, to breath while I sleep

Oxygen

Breath, sleep, have the melody

In my dreams, I smile everso lightly

Ready to shine beyond the insanity

Waking for the best of deeds

Fighting the chaos in the hurt, letting the monster be

Stuck with me, and I scream every so slightly

Happiness but this, smile but a kindness

Hoping that a deadly deed isnt needed

To let it slumber the beast with us

Let it be, let it be

A Way To See

Ruptured heart beats clear the way
Is this is what to to come of myself
To drip on the bliss, to sip happiness
Only one millisecond to please the deed
Inhaling joy, what is to come with me

So many badges deemed for me
To wear my heart on my sleeve

Visionary to carry
A deadly deed, to a good deed

To beg to the one
Allahu
Allahu
Where are you?
What is next on the agenda of Qadar

I scream
Within my heart
To be shattered beyond reality
Is this whats meant for me

I plea
Oh so lord
What will come of thee
Will I ever sun soaked bliss
Never residing in the heart
Until the end
The last breath draws near

To be clear
To see
To reflect

Scattered
Confused
Lost
Bent but not broken
To freeze in a fight, fly beyond the deadly deed, to fight the fright away.

Is this meant for me
Hold me tight
Noor hold me
Whats not destined
Can I be free, to say to humanity
To Save ones self
That is key

The Edge

I am
What is this
Perhaps its me, upon the edge
Shall this be deemed for me
To Leap
Rather not but tread lightly upon the edge
Labeled so
I wish not me me
Bring this to me
What shall I be
Upon the labels destined for me

Shall I worship Allah?
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Do you hear me?
Bismillah Ar-Rahmanraheem
Is this whats meant, to suffer so in the insanity
As I scream eternally
This is me
Deemed for me
Shall I just be?

Something on the other side of the edge is here

Familiarity is near
To strive
To beg, to repent
To be stuck in this bliss
Christ are you who deem the Christians to be?
Are you lord to thee?
Is your father, the eternal Father for all?

This is falsehood I believe

I'm stuck on insanity destined for me

Edge walker, so it be

What will be next?

MemBrain

Crazy in the membrane
Can i comprehend
What is here
Now above the mist
Shall I take thee leap
Of destiny
Near and Dear
I'm left
Sipping on bliss
Sucking in the chaos
What shall be dismissed
I feel queasy in here
Bout to explode
Am I right?
Beyond what seems
This must be insanity
Here I am
Reckless
Beyond what is right
Crazy on the outside
Wanting nothing more than serenity...

Whats next?

To conquer the darkness
So I can adjust
What will be destined for me
Beyond this reality
Illusions can be a must
To Take me beyond my deeds
To What is desired

A place of serenity
Where the worries of anxiety disappear
Fears of all kinds never fear
We be sipping on bliss
Not Letting the chaos in
For this is serenity

Just for moment

Then back to insanity
Where Fear rules my every being

I still smile
For I am free to BE

Reckoning

Where to go from here
I am almost gone
So I plead
With you alone
Do you hear me?
My soul reeks of decaying bliss
I'm almost gone
I reckon
This Light I feel
Will bring somewhat to a bit of peace
I am here
Waiting to feel you in my heart
Wanting nothing more
Than your love

People souls speak of you
I'm stuck here worshiping falseness
Can I have a break from the insanity?

Your light came to me

In dreams to come

The edge walker, is falling to the abyss

You reach you light your arms to me

I reach for the blade
I know nothing more
You conquer the darkness
Your the light

Tears roll on done and I shiver from fright
In this holy light
You alone are the savior for me
To rise up to be with you
The light the is near

You are for me
This feels right
I'm lost
but your near
Glory Glory
show me peace
Reckon this is right within the light

The warmth of you my lord

I say
you are for me
Save from the insanity the abyss
Take me to the bliss
With you always my lord

I pray
To you
Jesus
you Died for me
For us
For Aba
Choose you, his only begotten son
you are for me
This light I need
I reckon my heart is right
You pull me
I am near
Bring me close
I cry tears of joy
For this light is for me
I say oh my lord
My light
Jesus lord and savior
Bask with me
They light deemed for all
Even me
Stuck in the insanity
there is but bliss for a moment, I choose this
To be with be you
Jesus you are that light
Amen

What have I found

Where to go?
So many of possibility to be
Near to defeat
Upon the staircase what is meant for me?
To gaze upon sanity
Where is it next to be, standing in the star gazed bliss
Sinking into desire
melting into the chaos
is this what meant for you and I?
Bring me close to my spirit
I call as you whisper into my heart
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Oh Allah
Safe me from my nafs
They burden my heart, to sink into the chaos
Bismillah ar rahman ar rahmeen
Here I am shifted once again
up down side to side
here i am being
caught up with the bliss sending me into a chaotic state
What will happen
In the coming days
if only medication was a must
until the question that answered its you and I
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Please hold me
Guide me
Give me shifa
Inshallah
Ameen
what is next?
its time to face
What is here
next to my heart
lets just breath upon sanity
for but a moment
in this bliss
comprehend not life but bliss, to bring the nafs to justice
What is happening?
I am right upon what I say
You shall not mention this
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem

What Has to Be

Upon time
I am here
Do I drift into what is deemed the light
To rip up the tears
To sigh relief
They roll down my face, am I ready to express?
To be free, as I breath
Where am I?

Upon Time
Free to be, as I drift.
Get ready am I right to be this tonight
To rip, to tear, burn ever so lightly
This may be, a part of the past

Get ready, here I am
Free with glee
Even within this destiny
For hope is near and dear
Another millisecond here and gone

What am I?
To be here within thy mind
Its my fate, what the power be

Sucking up bliss, to exhale desire
The desire to go beyond what is deemed blissful
A gasp of this bring the tip
To Suffocate
its time to be
Right for me
Is this what is my fate
shall I be ready for what is needed

here they come
one by one
up down
side to side
Vision so lightly
A pattern deemed what meant to be
In this bliss that will be dismissed
To hope to be
Far from this reality
What is needed?
is this right?

Repair

Morning sunrise
let me be tarnished
beyond repair
that's a start to this day
upon my heart
does it beat
I breath
blowing out that flame
charred flesh
here I come
Unable to cope
so I resort to a new way

here I am
charred to a bit
unable to cope so i set
what is next?
What will happen next?

I pray
Serenity is but temporary
that bliss is far from me

To blister and bubble
to do this entirety
I am me
stuck in chaos
unable to cope

So that flame dances along the soft skin

what is right?

Everything is wrong?

Here I am
Falling into the pit
not able to cope
so I be
within this destiny
let me be

Upon this morning

Knock knock its 4am
Sitting on the bed
Breaths in and out
Until I'm dead
Unable to cope until death
Here I am
Pondering upon a wondrous time
Bring me to tears
Upon my fears
What will come
Until the End
Here I am being
This might be upon the end
I want to strive until I'm dead
Bring in the peace
Even within the darkness there is light
Its a knockin, on the hearts door.
Screaming let me in
Upon this day
I ponder
Bring in the hope
For the day
Uncertain what will bring the day
When I'm ready
I am here
To care for you
Before me
Because I'm free
Free to be
Even with this insanity
Insane in the membrane
I am here to stay
For now anyways