Inshallah ameen

Oh Allah I feel so lost
I am here begging you to end all
I am me and sure I be
How I suffer, and this makes me bitter
Yet I am here alhamduillah
Bowing my head to the ground for you alone
I want to seek haq, but I'm left in despire
Inshallah I call your name
Ar Rahman never leave me
I am truly lost without you
I feel as though the devourer is near
Shall I cut and burn, to ready the blade
To consume the darkness, letting emptiness break free
Inshallah Inshallah never let me lose hope
I just dont want to be
nevermind this world, nor the afterlife
Why must it hurt so much?
Being alone, and lonliness kills
I just want to be free
These chains holding me
Broken and beyond the bend
Here I pleaing for another time
Oh Allah, Forgive me for what I am
Have mercy, Oh merciful
Allah I love you, more than my self
I love the prophet Muhammad saw
He showed the world you
With you choosing him as the final the seal
May he rest well in jannah
Am I broken?  That I seek hellfire
Oh Allah make in easier for me, give us who are lost shifa
Making it easier for others who suffer pain, love, poverty, opression, lonliness
Ameen Ameen

Haiku

Upon this Dismay

Clearly shown a way today

Fall here leaves

Pitter and Patter

Drip Drop Dripping on the spot
Near and dear, demanding so much
Upon this time, shouting so loudly at me
Making me tremble from the stress
Now it's a mess
Pattern here Pattern there
So many pitter patter
Does it matter?
Out my way, screaming so sightly
Having not a care, ready the flame
lighting upon thee flesh
Tarnished not so lightly
Does this mean, that I'm afraid
Sometimes, does that make me less
I fear myself more than anyone
Look at me, badges not so proudly
Depends on the time
1 2 3 4
Start again, hit the rythm
Sick and dreary, unspoken words
I am gone, beyond the bend
Where to go now?
Unable to cause what is deemed right or wrong
Ready set go, ready the blade
Crimsion bliss expells
Maybe I dont know what to do
Anymore
No one listens
Even if I scream
Beyond this reality
Yes I see
Pitter Patter, let's go with the patterns

The Tide

As the tide turns, in and out

Time turns to the waves, as serenity blows in

The moon shines brightly, it shimmers with glee

Even though the insanity is near, the tide moves in to swallow the darkness.

As the moon shines with glee, this serenity is needed for us

The ocean so wonderful, deep she goes

No ship is is worthy to wander the ocean's abyss

Out goes the tide, to exhale 

So breath a deep breath, inhale as the tide rises and comes into the beach

Exhale as she retreats. under pressure the ocean she is

So is wondrous with beauty, lovely as she be

She can be tyrant, but not hoping to destroy

Just to protect herself, and her children

Soft moans of the whales, swimming and submerging

Sweet melody they sing to the mother ocean that be's

Is this serenity?

Maybe as breath we can imagine the ocean that be's, her spirit is everlasting.

So wander to beach near you, to feel peace 

To gain serenity, she is ready for you to open her arms with glee.

Here Today Now

Cut breath say it's ok

Wander stagger fall

Unto your doom, chaos in the heart

Deemed for me, old habits arise

The devouring spirit screams

I am ready to cut the flesh

To slice away your dreams

Chaos of the heart is open, ready to be free

Yet my serenity is chained down

Not moving a bit, so I slice away my dreams

It's just a bloody mess, why do I seek the darkness?

What will save me from the insanity?

God almighty has been with me, but I turn my back

To him, Almighty All seeing All knowing

Shall I pray to him, to save me from myself

That old dirty devil snickers away 

Bismillah 

I am not alone, even though loneliness seeks me

Ready to catch the fire deemed for me

The sweet rivers of honey and wine are not destined for me

Ready it's nearly noon

Got to go, to where badges on my arm 

That's my story, time to let go

Start anew, Inshallah.

Deadly

Suffocation is a must

Will this be what's next?

Pack, Push, Light, Inhale, Exhale

A slight feeling of serenity

To feel relief from the tarnished flesh that be's

Ready the knife, unless the high gets to you first

Am I ready?

To beat this?

I am stuck within the center

Edge walker, falling into the abyss

I am here, pondering upon reality

Is this meant to be

Can I be free

I am stuck with this deed, a deadly deed

Is meant to be forever, it's already been 11 years

I feel like I’m breaking free

From the chain that harness my will

I am here, ready to catch the fire

To inhale serenity, access my willingness to feel

Exhale all the darkness, can I harness this deadly deed

As the years go on and on

I am here, running from the addiction

It's clear as day, but I cannot see beyond the haze

It threatens my life, as I breath a breath of a deadly deed

So I can free of the true deadly deed

I am ready to fight the night, to conquer the soul

Confusion

Bang bang Bang Bang

I I I

Free to be, even though the insanity

Clear as day, within the haze

Rapidly screaming, shouting, running

Is it with Glee?

Does it define me?

In this chaotic life

Cycle of doom

Ready

I am me, needing to be free

Can't stand to me tied up

No I won't settle, it's clear as day

Insanity is here

Confusion of the heart mind soul

Where do I stand with God, and where oh where shall I be?

Here I am, Free

Tell me one thing

Is it worth it?

All the frustration

Smart as I can be

It seems the confusion wins each battle

Distorted feelings that be within, outward they are

Present, I am here

Along for the ride

So Hold on

Chaos

Time as its waves by us
We are stuck in everlasting star bilissed ocean
Hear her rour
I find my self falling into a black hole
Where chaos deems the mind so
I plea with my mind
Maybe I should plea with God almighty

I am muslim believe it or not

I am here
Ready to breath once again
Honestly though
I could careless for myself

This is why I cough
I inhale and breath cough spit repeat
Who needs to breath

The addiction is high around the bend

Here it comes into the heart
To take away bliss
Import the artifical bliss
Hard to believe i fell in love with this

Do I really Love
I dont know
I want to think I somewhat love my self
After all I am still here

Barely breathing
Weithering away
Ready to meet peace
But in reality there is never any
Never deemed for me
As the choas is not settled

Tarnished flesh
Devouring beast
Ready
Set
Go!

Happy Hounds

I wish It was the past
A fleid so glouirous that melted my heart
I am here in the prestent not knowing what to do
My heart melts thinking of the hounds
The bounds of the track

Happy hounds
Taken from the pens
Happy jumping with glee
Ready to go into a hoklding pen
So they lay and rest
Till its time
Ready

Out you go
Jump jump
trot to the track
Muzils on
Blacket ready
Red #1
Blue#2
White#3
Green#4
Gold#5
Black#6

Ready to line up
woo
We are in the front red red
Here we go lead them down to the start box

They stand so lightly and brightly
To the people who view
They cheer as the hounds pass
Now to trot to the box, first box is for #1
Hounds fight and bounce
Excited for the Lure to lead them to victory
Ingo ingo ingo
All the hounds in the box

Wave to the lure man
Thats ready to run across the track
To keep the lure running

It comes around the bend from the left and right in front of the box

BANG!
They are off
Running wityh grace
As fast as they can
They run what they are meant to do
They are royal blooded
Want nothing more but to catch that lure
Its whats they are met to be

Around the track
Coming to the end and yes
The finish line flashes as the first dog passes
Read Ready we have a winner

Men and women run to the betting booth to connect their winnings

Take the muzil off and then the dogs breath off the blackets
To the back to have a drink
Ask the pitbox were they go

Ready the winner
Purplke blanket with the glourious words of Winner across this

Each race has a winner and some lucky dog gets to wear
Oh show themselves with pride
on to the track, walking to slightly
Some fear the crowds to come

As they shout and yip with glee

Return to the pens
Home you are now
Tired but happy hounds

The sun begins to set and well
thats the end