Here being

 Do we suffer?

Suffering more than other seem to know

Unable to scream, here beyond the bend

Ready to break, shattered beyond repair

All from the words, whispers deeply into my every being

Ready to set the flame, how about a blade or two?

Chaos its right here, smile so blamely

Unable to conquer the demons that be

They whisper so lightly, and I know that they are not right and surely not real

Falling to my knees, begging for mercy

Staring so slightly, and what do we see

A pattern, so does that matter?

Yes please listen to me

They whisper, murming, as I stare so slightly

Pattern here and a pattern there

Boom

I am blind

Literally all I can see is the pattern

Nothing stops this

So, pitter patter lets get at er

Standing, bowing, kneeling, to prostrate

The one and only, yes thats right

Allahu the one

All knowing, all merciful

Thanking God that he has given me some reflief upon this life

Thankful as least, Alhamduillah

Don't fret, it's ok

Alhamduillah for the good and bad

Dreading the Deeds

 Why does it feel this way?

I tremble flowing with every emotion

Falling to the ground, not knowing the known

This confusion is dreaded, is taring the heart

Is this insanity?

I falling backwards no one to catch me

Not a soul, perhaps I am looking in the wrong places

Perhaps I shall bend my will for thee

Is eman but on and off switch?

Can I find the on switch yet again?

I've gotton up just to rise for you 

Oh Lord, you are for me

Allahu Allahu Allahu

I need you, I know you don't need me

Clear as day, that you here for me

So I am not afraid to live in the ummah alone

I know people will always judge

Allahu Allim

I scream in my heart, to break the seal upon my heart

To ready it for him, the one and only Allah

So to say, Please of lord upon thee

Guard me from the insanity and I rise waiting for the athan

Allahu Allahu Allahu Akbar

Save for from the nafs, to create good ones for us all

Inshallah Inshallah inshallah

Inshallah ameen

Oh Allah I feel so lost
I am here begging you to end all
I am me and sure I be
How I suffer, and this makes me bitter
Yet I am here alhamduillah
Bowing my head to the ground for you alone
I want to seek haq, but I'm left in despire
Inshallah I call your name
Ar Rahman never leave me
I am truly lost without you
I feel as though the devourer is near
Shall I cut and burn, to ready the blade
To consume the darkness, letting emptiness break free
Inshallah Inshallah never let me lose hope
I just dont want to be
nevermind this world, nor the afterlife
Why must it hurt so much?
Being alone, and lonliness kills
I just want to be free
These chains holding me
Broken and beyond the bend
Here I pleaing for another time
Oh Allah, Forgive me for what I am
Have mercy, Oh merciful
Allah I love you, more than my self
I love the prophet Muhammad saw
He showed the world you
With you choosing him as the final the seal
May he rest well in jannah
Am I broken?  That I seek hellfire
Oh Allah make in easier for me, give us who are lost shifa
Making it easier for others who suffer pain, love, poverty, opression, lonliness
Ameen Ameen

Haiku

Upon this Dismay

Clearly shown a way today

Fall here leaves

Pitter and Patter

Drip Drop Dripping on the spot
Near and dear, demanding so much
Upon this time, shouting so loudly at me
Making me tremble from the stress
Now it's a mess
Pattern here Pattern there
So many pitter patter
Does it matter?
Out my way, screaming so sightly
Having not a care, ready the flame
lighting upon thee flesh
Tarnished not so lightly
Does this mean, that I'm afraid
Sometimes, does that make me less
I fear myself more than anyone
Look at me, badges not so proudly
Depends on the time
1 2 3 4
Start again, hit the rythm
Sick and dreary, unspoken words
I am gone, beyond the bend
Where to go now?
Unable to cause what is deemed right or wrong
Ready set go, ready the blade
Crimsion bliss expells
Maybe I dont know what to do
Anymore
No one listens
Even if I scream
Beyond this reality
Yes I see
Pitter Patter, let's go with the patterns

The Tide

As the tide turns, in and out

Time turns to the waves, as serenity blows in

The moon shines brightly, it shimmers with glee

Even though the insanity is near, the tide moves in to swallow the darkness.

As the moon shines with glee, this serenity is needed for us

The ocean so wonderful, deep she goes

No ship is is worthy to wander the ocean's abyss

Out goes the tide, to exhale 

So breath a deep breath, inhale as the tide rises and comes into the beach

Exhale as she retreats. under pressure the ocean she is

So is wondrous with beauty, lovely as she be

She can be tyrant, but not hoping to destroy

Just to protect herself, and her children

Soft moans of the whales, swimming and submerging

Sweet melody they sing to the mother ocean that be's

Is this serenity?

Maybe as breath we can imagine the ocean that be's, her spirit is everlasting.

So wander to beach near you, to feel peace 

To gain serenity, she is ready for you to open her arms with glee.

Here Today Now

Cut breath say it's ok

Wander stagger fall

Unto your doom, chaos in the heart

Deemed for me, old habits arise

The devouring spirit screams

I am ready to cut the flesh

To slice away your dreams

Chaos of the heart is open, ready to be free

Yet my serenity is chained down

Not moving a bit, so I slice away my dreams

It's just a bloody mess, why do I seek the darkness?

What will save me from the insanity?

God almighty has been with me, but I turn my back

To him, Almighty All seeing All knowing

Shall I pray to him, to save me from myself

That old dirty devil snickers away 

Bismillah 

I am not alone, even though loneliness seeks me

Ready to catch the fire deemed for me

The sweet rivers of honey and wine are not destined for me

Ready it's nearly noon

Got to go, to where badges on my arm 

That's my story, time to let go

Start anew, Inshallah.