5 by 6 part 1

To connect with God

To be within hope

Surrendering yourself to Allah

To seek serenity

Perhaps a few words may bring Noor

Letting the knowledge in

Wondering always about Allah

If you know, you must do

Do not deny haq

Or you may fail

Trust your heart at first with humbleness

Testify there is none worthy of worship but Allah and Muhammed saw is the seal of prophets

Your shahada from great news more that witnessed one

For only sleep can see your heart your eman you're hope

Desires come arising

But we know our Deen

Another pillar seems to be

Offer Salah, when ever needed

It is just with the deen

To build eman

To strength our sabr

Acquiring something of Hope

For exciting will come to you from time to time

Do not fret for Salah shall save you

And that's why we pray five or even more times a day

To strive

To gain

To glisten within the light

All Muslims gathered to be

It's obligatory to us you see

The mighty kaba within Mecca

A great place where Abraham built to worship thy Lord

Even the mountains around Mecca gives salam

And when we do this within our life it is called haj indeed

It pulls you closer to the oneness of God

As you surround yourself with the Ummaha

To please thy Lord

To surrender yourself indeed

How the Quran was revealed to us the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him

Was he was fasting within the mountains of Mecca

When an angel appeared and told him to read

But he was unable to because he could not read

The angel commanded again read and he was able to read something he could not read before

And it was revealed to him that he was on Prophet the new revelation to the world

And so in remember to him

We fast

Especially within Ramadan

From dawn to sunset

Many things you cannot do

Not just eating or drinking but lying too

And some more than most do not know this

Some maybe ignorant to what they know

But may Allah guide them so

Finally we reached the fifth pillar

It's something wonderous indeed

And to be a Muslim you have to need the desire to do charity

Zakat is needed

And do not tell others of what you do donate

For is should remain between you and Allah

And a charity is not just money you see

It could be a small deed

Or smiling indeed

Just because you're poor with money does not mean you cannot do charity with your mouth your mind and your emotions

Do you think those do not count

They do for Allahu created you

So here we are being as we said to be what is the beligatory to us

These five pillars of Islam you see

But they are not only what you need

So we will see....

qadar

Allahu Alam

Only God knows

Did you know he knows all

For he is absolute

You cannot hide from his watch

As he sees beyond what reality is

He sees into your heart and your true desire

Is it to do Haram or do halal

Is it your pure ego that is driving you

Humble your soul, so you can be

Under the protection of the watchful gaze

Not only does he watch but he knows what you desire

For Al Qadar

Is well-known to him and him alone

Allahu Akbar

God is great

Not only in great but the greatest

Worthy of the worship in him alone Allah

You should be fearful of what he can see

I'm sure some of it he will displease

Nothing is hidden from his watch

Not a lie not a sin not a destruction

What pleases him most in his watchfulness

Is to see you strive

Isn't that devine enough

To do your works within the will of God

Is this not desired

Well maybe you should set your ego straight

We are but servants and slaves to Allah

And he is only worthy of worship

He does not need us to pray for him or to him 

We the people are the ones that call out to him, in our supplication to him alone

As many of us repent day after day hour after hour

That is what makes the difference between most

Some are god-fearing

Some fear nothing but death

Some fear the sadness within their hearts

Do they not know that the sadness can be cured with the Quran itself

With sincerity to Allah alone

To surrender with your heart and soul

Being mindful of the situation that be's

Look upon this time of insanity

Do you think that Allah does not know what one desires

What we need is Hope

This can be found within Islam

You just have to strive to look to open your heart

To allow monotheism fill you

To bring the light

To bring the solitude within the emotion

To be mindful of what you think and say

Allah said be so let it be let it be

Striving indeed within this dunya

Let us breathe bowing down to thee

The one and only Allah you see

Allahu you are the only one for me

Not just for I I desire you be for all

The pre-ordainment is written for you

So let's breathe

Within this world that we be

To be mindful that Allah sees 

What we see within the mind, the heart that be's

Alhamdulillah

Thank you

For this watchful noor

Beating the darkness down

Don't forget to pray

This will center yourself you see

Even within the insanity you will be peaceful indeed

This is what we need

So rememberance of how watchful Allah is

Remember of the deeds

Good or bad try for the best

The intention is what matters

Do not for self

But for bettering the world and humanity

So please

Let's be

Striving within the deen

Allowing the dunya to unite

Alhamdulillah

Thank you Allah

Curious Does the mind seems to be

Stuck within the destruction of the insanity

Will sanity ever come

To stay awhile

Get here I am up and down in the mania phase

My heart can't stop beating until I die

Rapidly at pumps as an anxiety attack kicks in

My heart is burning

The aches and pain of the insane mind

Conquer my heart but surely not my soul

Until I met the truth you see I was lost within destiny

Now I know that my destiny has changed

For peace is here near and dear

To not allow the emotions to conquer me

Let the feelings go

I'm stuck on a railroad going round and round and round

It's roller coaster time are you ready

On upon the top do you know what it means on the pawn to talk to you know what it means I pray to the ground and hair I am I underground and here you see here I see beyond reality and everything seems to be right here in the mind in DC everything seems a bit reality everything seems a bit DC with Superman and everything seems big and he what if there was a really really cool how come there is a Supergirl and not a super woman yes I tell you BS yes yes yes I tell you this I tell you that this turned into a rap you know that I don't know what to do as the mind seems crazy in the who here I am watching this did the who even exist still I'm just old old you see all the soul and young body as I get id'd everywhere I go get it right little one I'm insane in the membrane and here we go

Guidance

So lost within the world

So much is needed

As we bend to our materialistic wants

This is not what needed for humanity

Don't you see there is guidance indeed

From all the wonders of the world and beyond it is found

You just have to look for the signs

They everywhere within you and everything that be

You must conquer your heart and bring it to the Noor

Set aside those nasty desires

For they twist and turn and turn hate into your heart

This even happens within people who are guided

For remember there is one that will always whisper into our hearts from every direction

To move us away from the great guidance

For he Snickers within the darkness

But look for that light inside

It may be just a flicker right now

The guidance that these is from God indeed

And who is this God but Allah the one and only were they worship

I was lost within my path many times

But I always found guidance within my steps

Though the insanity has grown too far thick within the mind

I find peace in solitude within Salah

Don't forget to make wudu

Constantly to keep you pure

When you're feeling low

Do 2 rakats just for the soul of it

Remember we're trying to lighten our soul

For there's many stepping Stones to jannah

Will we meet again within our destiny

Just let that light keep on shining

To keep on guiding

So you will keep on wanting

And never give up

For guidance is here there and everywhere

Since the dawn of time and has been there

Do not fret and maybe unusual at first

But just do you

Follow this guidance and take small attempts to success

the world

Where do we reside

But on something peaceful indeed

The world's so vast perfection in beauty

It's meant for us humanity

We are the caretakers of this Earth

After all there is only one Earth

So many cultures around the world so many religions deemed for you and I

Some have as many trials within this world

But within this dunya you will see the perfection that Allah has made

As the world is majority water so is the human body so can we relate to Earth itself

There are so many living things on this planet though humanity deems themselves to be right in everything

Pouring out toxic fumes and ruining our environment

Slave labor is still a thing so is sex trafficking in the Free world the new world and third worlds

It's a sad reality indeed

But I pray to my God indeed

As there is nothing left for me

His love inside of me 

I take his commandments to the heart

Let it be let it be Allah said be

Only one with complete perfection can complete world creation and the universe itself

Vast and wonderful like a carpet the world is

So stride against it and discover

There may be knowledge here or there

Peace resides in the human soul

Often we are at war, sometimes with humanity

Times with inner self

So let's plea, and plea

Within this world of tarnished chaos and insanity

To revert back to the old way

To find peace within the Earth

To find peace within your soul

And let your heart not perish

To look a deer in the eye as it stares sternly

You see true nature within their hearts

And we can see the heart within the eyes for the soul peers in

So when you think of this world think good things for we only have one a green and blue planet indeed full of life and freedom

Surrounded by peers

Let it be let it be

Even in this time of chaos Insanity Dean for the planet as you see

It is still in perfection

As Allah deemed

So blessed this world as you travel upon it

Do not forget to give your Salah to the mountain

For all nature and humanity prays to thy Lord

And within this destruction that we feel

Allah will deem peace for us

So I will leave you with one thing

Take care of this Earth we live for there is only one

Trials

Ready set go

Status within the illusion you see

Depends on what you want to be

Do you want to wallow within the wisps?

Or do you strive within the Deen?

Are you lost within your path

Holding on to something that may not be good for you

To puff puff pass

Allowing the illusion of happiness to be deemed by this

But truly this is not meant to be

As I stand here so

And kneeling and head to ground

To be within hope

Let us pray let us pray

It's not meant for God he does not need us 

We are the creation, made but from clay as Allah blew his breath in us

We are not perfect for perfectionism is for Allah only

But we strive to do good to do the best of deeds The Good deeds to allow those angels to write down so soundly what you do each day

To remember that those scribes will come to you on judgment Day

Have some taqwa

Within God you see

There is truly sanity

Life is but a test in some struggle more than most

But Allah said be so here we are as we are.

Struggling on to the hopes of humanity in this materialistic world

I'll let you in on a secret happiness is not found in the materialistic things

With Allah indeed within the Ummah

We do our supplication to him all day everyday and we don't forget the rememberance of him in his names

99 of them knowing so far

The beneficial

The just

The loving

The merciful

The gracious

So why not follow Allah for within the books there is distortation because humanity has changed so

To their desires you see

You cannot pick and choose what God has deemed for you What is lawful, and unlawful

But here I am pondering so will this really work it didn't before

But then again I have changed who I am

I have not seen beyond reality in a while

At least Islam brings hope for the future

Hating on one another is not the deen

One another should build each other up

Do not forget the world and other Muslims who are not human

For we are the caretakers of this Earth

So remember without this world we would not be

And that thought itself is insanity

Maybe the end times are near so to say

But have hope

And never stop praying

Bring the piece to heart

Allahu you're the only one for me

For I'm not afraid to stand alone

And the trials are yet to begin

As I tried to stop the smoke from penetrating me

But here I am still being 

Stuck in the chaos once again

But that little light is still a shining inside

Do not forget and always speak truth

no ways

Why must the days start this way

Will this day ever end

A phase of mania, you see a hypo state of being

There's lots of different types of mania don't people know pick up book don't you want to know

Educate yourself about society seek that knowledge let It be deemed for you and allow you to teach others

Don't take judgment into your heart and don't cast judgment on others

No one knows another person unless they've walked a mile in their shoes said someone a while ago

As it twists and turns within my mind

Not knowing what reality is

And coming to the conclusion that there is no hope

No cure

No comfort

What is the point of living if you just get worse and worse as you age

I sure don't feel like I have hope

Everly my mood I'm on cloud nine you see I have nothing to stop me from doing a deadly deed so I write I scribe I want everyone to see I'm perfectly imperfect and this is what is meant for humanity

This may seem like a rant rather than a poem but I'm writing it in the mania of phase

May God give me patience within myself and within my health

My body aches from all the stress

My heart hurts from the anxiety

I don't want to be anymore

I just want to be free of my illness

But happiness is an illusion you see

For me anyways

Happiness can lead to mania

Oh great that's so thankful of God

And this creates bitterness within God

I don't know why I have to be so full of rage and angry and stressed and depressed and hateful and all these things I don't want to be this way I want to be Lindsey again but I'm not Lindsey anymore

Too many tears are wept each day

And I'm done on living so perhaps I'll see you tomorrow or another lifetime Allahu Allim

Scribes

 Finding darkness everywhere, can sure wear anyone down

To feel like the abyss is within the mist

Stop gather with me, to mindful of the past

As it be's within this reality, telling everyone soul

Of the darkness within thee, to sure please

Another with these words of hope that I scribe for me

This be my therapy, so read with no doubt that this is my heart

My mind some do not understand, and judge me

To allow the darkness to break free, for sometime darkness bring a comfort of deeds

I reckon these deeds might be the death of me

So I rely to my God, Allah indeed

To seek the light, a true noor

To get a flicker within the heart

To can love for self to love wholesomely

These be my scribes of my heart

Truth being the onset within me

I do not lie, that darkness resides

But the light will always conquer the darkness

That is Love from Allah indeed

what we want and need

What does it mean to have mindfulness and a God-consciousness and piety indeed

We really need this you see within our Deen

To acquire eman on demand

To be obedient to one and only Allah you see

Most Muslims you see have this indeed

As it is a structure for the mind you see

Taqwa right for thee

To have the right consciousness to God to know to need

To fear but love also for it is needed in piety

Piety is not just by our clothing, but by our deeds

Our actions you see

It has a much deeper understanding within Islam, because not one word means one thing, but it could be many things

Let us breathe and be mindful of the situation we need

To bring oneness with your heart

Allah fearing abundance 

Allah for he is Almighty 

You see this is not a dream come to be

It is a foundation within our eman

It is needed to structure so

Everyone does Haram, but one who does more that doesn't repent 

Is in a worse of mood in the afterlife

For those angels on left and right

Write down those deeds, you do the good with the right

To keep piety that's needed within the deeds

I do with Allah indeed

To round my spirit and humble thee

To keep yourself full of noor

To allow the abundance of God-fearing to surround you

And with this you will feel a lightly thing of piety

As it raised within your eman you see

This is what destiny is for us the Muslims indeed

To not forget this is needed to avoid the Haram and follow the halal

Don't be fooled by the desires those nafs indeed

The materialistic things of this world that people think they need

I know for a fact because of the Quran

The final message to man indeed

To not follow such quality as greed hatred

Emendity towards a fellow human and pride in many such things and it hurts a believer

Where taqwa is indeed

This can hurt you more than you see

It can lead down to a destruction and emptiness that be's

Rememberance of what this means taqwa indeed

Remember where you are at every sight you see, every emotion that be's

At times we will feel so lonely, but remember Dua, Dhkr, and Salah indeed It brightens the mood and makes you whole indeed

To remember this time we find on this world you see is, but a test that is meant for humanity

So let us remember Allah indeed

What he showed the prophet Muhammad SAW 

What was revealed to him is what we need

Not to be distorted beyond the bend

Even when alone remember taqwa

The God-fearing abundance indeed in Almighty piety

To have consciousness with this indeed

We know what we need

Will we seek it

To strengthen us indeed

Upon a path within insanity if I can find such this way

So can another within a world full of fools

To be fearful

To have love

To show our worthiness

For Allah you see

It's meant for us all within our hearts

This is the best the shahada 

To center self to be mindful

This will help you conquer taqwa

Practicing steadily within the deen

This is meant for you and I 

For Islam is peace indeed

Why Smile

Smile like you have no care

Like your nowhere

Staring so lightly

Is this nice to see?

To let it be

Why smile?

Even your empty inside, wanting to die

Does that mean you are a deceiver?

Maybe we are the believers

After all one of the best of deeds is a smile

and also a sunnah

Some the best of deeds are the smallest

Remember share your smile with everyone

Bringing cheer near and dear

Telling others there is hope

Even within this emptiness

Staring to insanely to look sanely

but smile for today

To bring hope another way

To brighten your noor

Brighten your path

To lead others down

Smile for someone today

Blessed be

So lovely

Done

I am wondering on this world of My reality

To not be able to see outside the box

I feel as though I'm trapped within the darkness

Pulling through the chaos over and over again

Wanting it to eventually end

Finding that hopelessness is at the end

Far nor bear

Do we know?

Truly not for that is not our place

I want to find solitude within myself

I want to be content with being ill

There is so many things I want but it seems unattainable

As sharks move within the sands of the sea

Will it ever be beyond insanity?

Well I ever believe in Hope of that reality?

Never quite sure, wanting much more

But feeling so scarred and tarnished so

And the Carnage is with me so listen please

I am not worthy

For what I do and see

I am different from the rest of you

I feel that energy around and I can take it as thy own

As it negatively affects me

Will I ever be at peace?

Well I know the virtues of peace?

In this time of my life you see

Or will it be granted to me on judgment Day just a glimpse of peace and Hope

Is enough for me

As tears rip through me

Unable to cope

I reckon I should just do Dua

Even that seems to be stopped by the insanity that be's in the mind that can't control reality

I want to believe in me that I am possible to overcome the insanity

But as the days roll on by and the months begin to begin to years

To worsen as you age

To have your psychiatrist ask you what he should do

What is the point really in this world anymore?

I don't care, I'm done

Next time it comes I will not fight 

For I am defeated

I do not know if I should relay my light to my deity Allahu you see

I want to please him so solely

But I'm drifting from the light

I just want to keep on going until there's nothing left 

The Carnage will not be subdued

For the devour is here

Never fear, it's something dear

Within thyself I feel

Corrupted within my will

Let it be let it be even with the insanity

As I scribe and ponder so wonderfully

Will this be the end soon to come?

To pass on the courage to another

To raise awareness of this curse

There is no cure for what I have

I'm running out of answers

I don't want to have that courage for that day

When I make that promise I made so many years ago 

I just can't let it go

I seek refuge in a love from the accursed Satan

I testify that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is the slave  and messenger of Allah

I cannot deny what truth is

Soon I will lose the war

I'm tired of fighting

So let's just calmly go with the insanity

what

Shall we start with this in the name of God the most merciful the most beneficial

The desire you see is coming to be

I don't know if I quite see Jannah you see

Because the insanity you see

But what is this light that we feel inside us is it truth or is it Allah indeed

What is the beneficial way for us?

If I must I shall tell you

Recite the best you can and do your prayers on time

And don't forget your supplication and your remembrance of Allah

What is beneficial to me is staying within the Ummah

To allow the light to guide me

From the first time I said my shahada I never surrendered because if I surrendered then I will truly lose self

The whispers in my mind you see

At times they conquered thee

But with thy protection from Allah I shall be guided through the straight and narrow path

After all this life is but a test from God himself, so it is best to please him

In doing so we worship thee only God you see the one and only Allah beyond reality does he see

To no absolute truth is not attainable to those who free seek for those who have free will for it is godly thing of all eternity

To know the past the present and future that is only for Allahu

Strive to know all and you will understand the world better and go into a world without judgment

For there is only one judge and that is Allah do not take his place and may not look good on your left side you see

Has the Angels write down in red pen on the left and a blue pen or gold pen of the right

When you are brought to the hereafter to answer to God those angels will arrive with their scribes of that you've done

Remember to repent

This will be beneficial for you

Inshallah you will know what I mean

times that be's currently

Sometimes I find myself in the abyss unable to list

How many emotions run through me and rip it in rapid do they go

A Carnage to a rage to an insanity indeed

Blessed be blessed be am I still with Allah indeed

To hear what I hear I wonder and I ponder what is right?

Upon realities dream will it come to be blissful indeed

Able to cope just words to cope words and words and many more scribes depend to paper to more and more

Does anyone care if I survive?

I'm almost done this fight you see

It'ss tiresome indeed

Blessed be blessed be I am a not alone you see

For I'm not afraid to stand alone against The whispers you see as I seek refuge in Allah from the outcasts that Shaytain

Blessed be blessed be this life indeed

Advice indeed

 what do people want in this life?

I cant say for others

I want to allow the emotions to rip rapid 

Unable to cope

You see with this insanity

So please listen to me

I do not choose to strike about

From happiness mania comes

Manic uncontrollable emotions to bear

Upon time you see its set still

I am a maniac

This is me, surely

Only within insanity

To please hear me

I strive to be good, so should you

Sabr is important use and understand well

Don't let that darkness take over

For we fight always

That is our jihad

To I plea with the lord indeed

To save me from myself

what we need

Feel the solitude, seeping into me

 As I despise what is become of me within every day, I change over, and over again 

I never am the same

To say this within reality, but not knowing what an illusion is 

Happiness can be the illusion, so display an illusion you will see what's beyond this reality

With it will you see, will you truly see? What is truth, what is within the light? So do need this indeed for every human and creature 

To give a smile a kindness, a good deed to one another 

To be good to this world we live in, because without it we are truly lost w

Within the abyss not knowing where to go?

I find myself upon my destiny once again, falling into the abyss

Fo I miss what is sanity, I do not know indeed I feel though as I see 

What is in my reality is, but an illusion you see 

I am not welcome within my religion you see 

I am too radical with peace, love, and kindness 

I am thought to say that the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was all those things too

 All he wanted was United Muslims

Humanity too, it's better to catch more flies with sugar than vinegar 

So remind this that you, do not know judge in a person's heart 

They could be fighting against what you think is wrong, they could be striving to please God

 

Indeed do not judge them but advice them be there for them 

Not passing judgment is not in our day To do not know what's within the heart

Only Allah can see, don't you know understand we need to be to be able to handle when the darkness 

When it comes for thee

Perhaps you indeed for those whispers you hear, and those dirty deeds 

We are stuck with him insanity and let the mind see 

What is this light that I see, over and over again  

That is, but Allah indeed 

So blessed be

Aug 10th

Alhamduillah

For you

Thank you Allah

To brighten the path

Rememberance I see

With hope there is Noor

Weather the wind roars

Ice wall's through me

Bearing with me

With the insanity

Let it be let be

As long I'm with Allah

I'm not afraid to stand alone

For that is light and haq

The oneness of God

We finally know from the final message

To Prophet Muhammad SAW

Let me breath

So deeply

That anxiety withers as strength from hope, Allah indeed

Bless it be

For the Ummah

Let us strive indeed

Tears

Memories here that be

Right down the lane

Storming with insanity

I want nothing but to be done

With emotions you see

It's overload as each one hurts

Worse then when happened

Scarred so much

I can barely breath

Will some of this pain lessen for me

I feel lost and down, consuming with feelings

Rapid as they rip through me

Brings me to my knees

Do I plea

Not lately

I'm losing indeed

Still fighting

Till the end

Striving for happiness

sadness lost of hope

Where to start

I'm broken beyond the mend

My mind twists and turns constantly it matters turns to rage I don't feel good most of the time people really affect me because I'm an empath and that means I see him feel with emotions that see beyond what you can see within the reality but all I can think about is the tears resident in my heart and fall down my face has each one burnt my skin but I'll always be alone because everyone leaves I have people that don't call me back I have people that don't message me back I have family that I haven't talked to in years why does everyone judge me so I try not to judge others that's not my job I just want friends and family but I have nothing but the blade flare the flare

Destined to be tarnished will I find my way I thought I did with him his mom could even then I'm not understand no one understands me I feel lost me on the bed in my heart is written telling me go to our myself and I'll never know if this is the right way but I'm done hurting myself inside with all the emotions that flow why doesn't anyone understand that I can't control what happens to be I can't control the delusions the confusion the race to time will I live alone life probably not because eventually I'll lose the war and then the end will come and no hereafter for me I just want to stop existing I don't want to be this way anymore but I've always been this way and it just gets worse and worse as age so if you don't hear me or talk to me that's okay I've been alone since the start

I hope you have a good life

edgewalker

I wonder how this be's within the insanity

As my heart sees beyond reality, in the delusion you see 

I can't recognize what is right in the light 

I'm misguided you see at this time of rage and anger and fear 

You see, perhaps someday a cure will be found, but not in my lifetime 

I do not think, but who knows 

For there is a cure for everything for Allah cures all

I am far from perfect, perhaps perfectly imperfect 

As my mind goes up and down in the emotions that flow 

I remember Allah is always by my side 

To seek refuge in God from the accursed Satan 

What if it is not from him?, but from God indeed 

For Jihad is not just fighting in a physical sense

One of the most important ones is your spiritual self, and your personal self 

The ones that you go through every day of your deen

Alhamdulillah inshallah mashallah

These are all good words we should say 

Minute by minute, day by day until we rest in the grave

 For when the angel to collect our soul

To stand before our God, the angels bestowed on our shoulders

Then we will know what the end happens 

Until then we never know for we are not God 

We do not have absolute truth, I sit here pondering upon the days sky 

The mind is very distorted, but my faith is coming back 

Alhamdulillah

Always

memories pain and joyful

As I start to remember 

It blazes past me like a sharp blade to the skin 

The emptiness within, I'm trying to find joyous things in those memories of the past

To remember the good and forget the bad, to not blame myself there's something

That I cannot control to, leave it to God for he knows all

To wonder and wander upon the universe 

Shall one be within the light or cast aside within the darkness, but to remember fight the darkness

To never let go

Just because I forgot his voice does not mean I do not forget the emotions

I felt and the true love of a parent to a child unconditionally

I plea, and plea with my Lord indeed

Time to ponder....

To remember to stop, evaluate to express

 Write your heart out 

Pen to paper, letting it blend for the canvas is ready for the color and shades 

To be known as Noor 

Remember to always look for it even within the insanity that be's