As the tide turns

Tick tock tick tock
It's near the end
I'm here there everywhere
Will this ever end
I'm standing beyond the abyss
Upon this night I'll surely miss
I'm disoriented beyond control
Why am I here
Why must I be
Within this Insanity
I'm dieing one way or another
You cannot stop me
Even if you wanted to my mind is up
I'm here
#36
Once again
I'm barely consumed anything
I'll waste away
One way or another
Beyond my mind drifts
Whispers conquer my heart
Will I submit?
Perhaps
It's possible
You think not 36
I'll win this war
But disaster will burden reality
I'm beyond rationality
In this insane brain
Will I be reality
Ready the flame
Pour the petroleum
Cut the pain
The life line
I'm lost
I'm fearful beyond control
I shake from this
I'm giving up
No time for me
It surely will come
Absolute Truth
The one true
Knocking on heavens door
For but a glimpse
But down I go
Blissful gone
Torture
Pain
Hurt
Suffering
Is life
For now
I'm here
Safe as I can be
Some rationality
Afterall
I'm here
I'm free
To be me
Even within this reality of insanity

done

Nearly gone
At a life source
Will he help
Will he dismiss
will he conquer
will he win
unable to know
I wait and wait
until the end
nearly there
almost gone

Almost Gone

It builds up
So much
I'm about to explode
Take the blade to my skin
Cut the life line
I'm  near the end
Unable to comprehend
what is in the right
Am I wrong?
Am I near the right?
Shall I fight?
I'm defeated
I cope
but its no longer manageable
I burn
To turn the tide
As it moves
inside and out
until the night is here
I'm nearly gone
nearly dead
is this truth
am I right?
Perhaps not tonight
perhaps another night
be prepared for a fight
for there will be a fright
in the night
until there is nothing left
I'm on my way
to the end
What is the point
The insanity overbears
nothing helps
I'm lost
I'm gone
I'm dead
I'm free
Finally...

Crumble

Who are we
But stuck in this insanity
I bear witness
That I am no longer me
I no control over the emotions
They burden me so
As each tear drop burns my skin gently so
I'm left bearing my heart my sleeve
within the insanity
Time unfold into the abyss
unable to cope
I turn to the flame
Unable to reach
I'm here lost in the abyss that's falling in the mist
Each word that hits me
Tarnishes me so
I'm far from me
I'm someone else
I need to be free
Its my destiny
But I'm lost
Not yet gone
Still here
Crying begging for it to stop
To Halt
But as the mins turn to hours
its nearly 2pm
and i just want to end
they end
the absolute truth
but something keeps me
at bay
Its the heart that burns ever so
Light has not dimmed
because I'm still here
within the cycle of chaos
wanting out
rapping on the door
screaming letting me
Let me out of the abyss
Until another day
within the insanity
must I say
beyond the flame
Beyond the blade
Within the insanity
that brings harmony
for but a moment
then the despair conquers the heart
until nothingness
is there
I'm lost
not yet dead
Trying to survive
as I Crumble...

Beyond this abyss

Hopelessness lingers
Until the abyss
Is beyond the brim
Beyond repair
I stare
I'm there
Here to stay
As each dream turns from wonder to reality
I'm left pondering
With such fate
Will be able to bring the patterns of chaos to a halt
Until the times folds
I'm left pondering into the nights darkness
as insomnia burdens me
1am 2am 5am
I'm still here
Laying in my bed
Wandering into thy mind
upon time
I don't like these feelings
I'm barely me
stuck in this insanity
I ponder into the abyss
not loosing sight
for what right
Light
Hope
Peace
Serenity
this is for me
within my destiny
one can hope so anyways
until again

Upon this morning

Knock knock its 4am
Sitting on the bed
Breaths in and out
Until I'm dead
Unable to cope until death
Here I am
Pondering upon a wondrous time
Bring me to tears
Upon my fears
What will come
Until the End
Here I am being
This might be upon the end
I want to strive until I'm dead
Bring in the peace
Even within the darkness there is light
Its a knockin, on the hearts door.
Screaming let me in
Upon this day
I ponder
Bring in the hope
For the day
Uncertain what will bring the day
When I'm ready
I am here
To care for you
Before me
Because I'm free
Free to be
Even with this insanity
Insane in the membrane
I am here to stay
For now anyways

Wrecked

I've wrecked havoc on my heart
My emotions run rampid on desires
Old thoughts arise
A blade that is hidden is revealed
Shall I take it and move into the delicate skin
Letting the crimson blood flow
Hitting the floor gently so
Unable to comprehend what is right
Sharp turns of flame
Bubble and burn
Scorched tarnished
Ever so
What will come
This out come of hopelessness

Time will tell
If the mania wins
If the depression consumes
That the people condemn
One Friend
Two friend
One less two less
Three four
Here I am
Loneliness kills
Unable to cope
I bend and break
For the pressure is to tiring

What will this be year bring

Under pressure
Under insanity
Under anger
Hopelessness
Sets in

Light comes a knockin

Will I let her in

Time is endless
I'm here pondering
Brooding away the desires

Am I in the right?

Or am I wrong for this desire?

Time will tell
What is right
Here I am
Worrying
Panicking
Wondering
Pondering
Thinking
Until next time
Wandering into the night sky
Insomnia that bends my will
I'm lost
But not yet done