Sometime we find our selves wanting to be with the closing sun under the distant harvest moons light over the glistening bay of water under the sunset.
Here one would think to find serenity, tranquility, Peace.
Even if a Rainbow was to appear, that would symbolize Hope within my mind.
I want to be able to have a full slumber as deep breaths snoring Zzzzzzz....
Without having to scream out in pain and agnony either from those distant memories that are hurting me so
Jabs of sharp pain hits the skin, what can I comperhend from this but hurt tears screaming reaching for help.
What I want to feel is puffy white pink orange blue purple clouds in a light sunrise perfect for the day start.
Start each day with harmony a hum to keep you balanced do ra mi far see do
We are millions upon millions of ripples from the casting pebble across the Ocean of emotions that is within the reality of galaxy of spirits. Beyond this we cant comprehend what is there often do we find humanity pounder with their Gods Theology Philiosphy and Science.
With my travels as a wonderer upon the salty sand in a dune of of sand, trecking slowly as the mind is timeless each shard of sand that drips down endless it seems in this hour glass.
Emotion is here it hard to explain but with who or rather what i am i feel as though even in the emptiness that is caused by rapid emotions rip my skin a small stream of light red darkness drips down my arms.
Freedom your silly mind thinks but for milasecond before regret sinks in
Becareful that you dont do away with self that you devour everything but skull and bones leave the soul tarnished and twisted no longer is it roots wrapped around Gaia mother earth she doesnt allow corruption here.
As you wither and scirm Spirit is here to collect what is due
But worry not
You and I live on as long as a glimpse of what you did is still in a memory a deed not to small for any kindness
Remember the silence of a smile but the kindness it can bring.
I think from the skin coloured scars all around my arms would indicate that passed all that
but would be but a lie as i still yearn for this but I been starting over.
I am not withering but reaching for the sky as my wood base and long tree trunks burst into the sky.
It is not to long before little branches appear with green buds of leaves.
Soon the fruit will be bared to the our world for who or what we are shall it be sweet and everlasting
or bitter with the world around it.
I am not such a person to the second statement stay but a glimpse of the disorder
Dont let the labels rule you dont let the disorder own you
You yourself me i yes maybe that can be true
yes but it is for with my reality
This is what I understand
But im not in cement shoes in this ocean current remember were it will rapidly take you.
I leave what is written on soul as words are ever flowing out of me as long as i draw deep breaths.
Believe in me for I believe in me and I am everlasting as long the deeeds are forwarded
One can only hope for Today so we have Tomorrow...
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Saturday, November 21, 2015
Trans day of rememberance
Here are Today
A memorial for those who have fallen over the years even in the present
I weep as think of those who are gone
Who strive to over come their oppression
Its sad we have come to this such hate for self
I not transgender but my friends are but i know what it like to feel as though your not in the right body
to have such inner hate for you look like
To struggle to have self doubt
But I have strength
From those around me
I a co leader in society in pride of youth
We all be youthful in out hearts for humanity needs it to live
I lead so i can make a path for the younglings i see their strength as i teach them what i have learned
Dont get me wrong i was a wall flower once buet now i am but a Fyrefly
Going to Camp fyrefly helped overcome ansirthe fdarkness in heart when it came to being a bisexual women but now i have growed up i releaze that im not but a pansexual as i dont see the gender anymore but more the person.
What do we have to do to remember all those who have fallen under depression from not being born into their right bodies.
Is this from a God of some sorts
is it a test
We all transition in life
Some mpre such a transgender or transsexual man or women
Lately we have been seeing alot of reconision for this issue in the media
Today in Red Deer we celbrate not the fallen for even if gone from suicide or acts hate
their spirits still live on within us in LGBTQ+ communities around the world
I am so lucky to have such wonderful people who are going through their battle with self and battle with society
Often do i find people who say to me you can change your mind your body but change you dna
Thats just hater speaking but speak to them with hate in return but love and understanding
Power to you all
My love for humanity grows stronger as i see role models of tomorrow grow in my little group
So the LGBTQ+ pride youth group of red deer want to welcome you to share you stories with us in transgender person or persons you have known to surivive this world or to die for their freedom
Share you experience how you have over come hate
And conquered oppression
We all have
be you gay straight lesbian bisexual transsexual intetrsexed asexual pansexual or just plain you
Stand tall
your not alone
you never will be from now on
Because people have fought for our rights we have now and rememeber to not give up for it truly gets better.
A memorial for those who have fallen over the years even in the present
I weep as think of those who are gone
Who strive to over come their oppression
Its sad we have come to this such hate for self
I not transgender but my friends are but i know what it like to feel as though your not in the right body
to have such inner hate for you look like
To struggle to have self doubt
But I have strength
From those around me
I a co leader in society in pride of youth
We all be youthful in out hearts for humanity needs it to live
I lead so i can make a path for the younglings i see their strength as i teach them what i have learned
Dont get me wrong i was a wall flower once buet now i am but a Fyrefly
Going to Camp fyrefly helped overcome ansirthe fdarkness in heart when it came to being a bisexual women but now i have growed up i releaze that im not but a pansexual as i dont see the gender anymore but more the person.
What do we have to do to remember all those who have fallen under depression from not being born into their right bodies.
Is this from a God of some sorts
is it a test
We all transition in life
Some mpre such a transgender or transsexual man or women
Lately we have been seeing alot of reconision for this issue in the media
Today in Red Deer we celbrate not the fallen for even if gone from suicide or acts hate
their spirits still live on within us in LGBTQ+ communities around the world
I am so lucky to have such wonderful people who are going through their battle with self and battle with society
Often do i find people who say to me you can change your mind your body but change you dna
Thats just hater speaking but speak to them with hate in return but love and understanding
Power to you all
My love for humanity grows stronger as i see role models of tomorrow grow in my little group
So the LGBTQ+ pride youth group of red deer want to welcome you to share you stories with us in transgender person or persons you have known to surivive this world or to die for their freedom
Share you experience how you have over come hate
And conquered oppression
We all have
be you gay straight lesbian bisexual transsexual intetrsexed asexual pansexual or just plain you
Stand tall
your not alone
you never will be from now on
Because people have fought for our rights we have now and rememeber to not give up for it truly gets better.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Good Grief
oh thy Lord help me over come my sorrowful mind
those who have passed on into inner and enternal peace
are greeted by the fallen of those memories that serve brightness
may the Lord guide the fallen as he is the shepard to his flock
dont go astray young lamb
or the wolf will get you
and suck you from your flesh he will
for the wolf is but another sheep
for the sheep is this lost flock are cannibalistic
worry not seek help from your Lord
He knows your pain, he can ease it
Help you grieve
even though you where but i child when you lost one
1 2 3 4 5 6
the numbers keep going up
and not enough sorrow to go around
within my mind i trapped in the maze of sorrow
will i let them all go
only to lose my good memories of them
Im already lost the memory of their sweet voices
just a distant thought far away bounceing on a cloud in the white puffy sky
So young lamb, will seek refuge in thy Lord.
during this dire times its best reflect perhaps you will save a soul or two
dont hold your breath or might end up choking for the next one
Young lamb be strong for this grieve you are feeling is natural and will pass
For you have faith
Your fathers father was faithful and reflectful and knowledgeable
Remember you are not alone during this time
So seek thy lord
whenever you are in need
for his Love is everlasting
Saturday, October 10, 2015
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
I know Pain
A so called friend came to the other day
Told me we all have despair not knowing who what i am
he told me to basically suck up the pain
because the day gets better
does he know how much pain i been through
i grind my teeth in anger as i feel remember all the pain
but i replied calmly we all have our crosses to bare
if only
the suffering would end
one truly pleaded
he was so strong to withstand the pain
all the suffering of everyone
For God loved the world so much
he Sent his only begotten Son to DIE
for us mere humans
we humans think our pain is so much those our crosses but
nothing compared to thy Lord has felt
so think again where you stand we have crosses
but resort to prayer in dire times for he listening
believe
in miracles they have happened to others
I believe they happen every day because we have our image like God and God is good
God is great
I would said something else before but not anymore
its time to put the pain aside for our lord suffered the most of all
He died for us
the Son
there no other way to the father except throw me
said who
Jesus Lord Christ
King of Kings
and if you don't confess all to him don't worry for he understands what molds you and i
he knows your pain as he felt it before
Don't let the pain control you
sometimes its inner pain spiritual pain physical pain
Everything makes sense in and be compassionate even if your fed up with your family friends companions even a few randoms
have empathy
seems the world is starting to lack such
do we have such a hold on our desire that we would deny God
Oh my lord
may your grant me strength to carry on my crosses as they build on me
without you id truly for Lost
We just be taken our second chances are mere karma they say
that be your lord Jesus Christ making his miracles happen
I like what I'm becoming
I'm able to conquer any pain the pitcher through at me
in the end i will not be bitter
for I was created in his image so then
would i want to be compassionate
wouldn't you want others what you have even better
that's how the world should be
if you have Jesus or not
remember the compassion
my friends remember your pain and make into a good deed for your brethren
I leave this
I hope whatever you get from this you understand
Compassion is a must in life
lead onward kindred one...
Told me we all have despair not knowing who what i am
he told me to basically suck up the pain
because the day gets better
does he know how much pain i been through
i grind my teeth in anger as i feel remember all the pain
but i replied calmly we all have our crosses to bare
if only
the suffering would end
one truly pleaded
he was so strong to withstand the pain
all the suffering of everyone
For God loved the world so much
he Sent his only begotten Son to DIE
for us mere humans
we humans think our pain is so much those our crosses but
nothing compared to thy Lord has felt
so think again where you stand we have crosses
but resort to prayer in dire times for he listening
believe
in miracles they have happened to others
I believe they happen every day because we have our image like God and God is good
God is great
I would said something else before but not anymore
its time to put the pain aside for our lord suffered the most of all
He died for us
the Son
there no other way to the father except throw me
said who
Jesus Lord Christ
King of Kings
and if you don't confess all to him don't worry for he understands what molds you and i
he knows your pain as he felt it before
Don't let the pain control you
sometimes its inner pain spiritual pain physical pain
Everything makes sense in and be compassionate even if your fed up with your family friends companions even a few randoms
have empathy
seems the world is starting to lack such
do we have such a hold on our desire that we would deny God
Oh my lord
may your grant me strength to carry on my crosses as they build on me
without you id truly for Lost
We just be taken our second chances are mere karma they say
that be your lord Jesus Christ making his miracles happen
I like what I'm becoming
I'm able to conquer any pain the pitcher through at me
in the end i will not be bitter
for I was created in his image so then
would i want to be compassionate
wouldn't you want others what you have even better
that's how the world should be
if you have Jesus or not
remember the compassion
my friends remember your pain and make into a good deed for your brethren
I leave this
I hope whatever you get from this you understand
Compassion is a must in life
lead onward kindred one...
Monday, September 21, 2015
Love
Will be ok?
Will be alright?
Will I love myself?
these all questions that rumble in my mind
I feel as though its to late
though people say its never to late
Reach out my friend
As I raise my arms high with my bloody heart in them
my grip lossens
and its not to late to catch breathe and save a life
To write write love on her arms
I dont want to write love anymore
Im going to Tattoo it on me
so i cant wash it away
the only way ill be ok if im not alone
dont say your arent alone you have God
as I said before unfortually God isnt enough for
Tears Tears they burn my skin
as the blade rolls down my arms
im afraid i want to wake up from this nightmare
is it reality or just lucid dreams
Please oh please help me Lord
Save me from myself before i destory myself
tick tock goes the time
time to get ready
I just want this to end
Maybe i should just stop the meds
they arent helping
they just are sugar pills it seems
Im beautiful
even with my scars
Im beautiful
I dont need to scare myself away
I dont need the boogie man to say dark things to me
Im giving up
my emotions are all over the place
I dont want just if i dont get help
then im just going to slit my wrists
remember its down the river not across
im sick to my stomach just thinking about this
Tears burn my skin
I twist and turn insane i am
will you reach out for me
meet me half way
oh please oh please
someone please
i dont want to be alone anymore
one moment im good and the next im not
its another moment
just breather
from that start over
remember to breathe those breaths
start over its another moment
have a sleep maybe when you arise
Stretch your arms dont let the blood rip and flow
your stronger than this
this is all i got is Love
Love for self Love for God and lastly Love for all
Will be alright?
Will I love myself?
these all questions that rumble in my mind
I feel as though its to late
though people say its never to late
Reach out my friend
As I raise my arms high with my bloody heart in them
my grip lossens
and its not to late to catch breathe and save a life
To write write love on her arms
I dont want to write love anymore
Im going to Tattoo it on me
so i cant wash it away
the only way ill be ok if im not alone
dont say your arent alone you have God
as I said before unfortually God isnt enough for
Tears Tears they burn my skin
as the blade rolls down my arms
im afraid i want to wake up from this nightmare
is it reality or just lucid dreams
Please oh please help me Lord
Save me from myself before i destory myself
tick tock goes the time
time to get ready
I just want this to end
Maybe i should just stop the meds
they arent helping
they just are sugar pills it seems
Im beautiful
even with my scars
Im beautiful
I dont need to scare myself away
I dont need the boogie man to say dark things to me
Im giving up
my emotions are all over the place
I dont want just if i dont get help
then im just going to slit my wrists
remember its down the river not across
im sick to my stomach just thinking about this
Tears burn my skin
I twist and turn insane i am
will you reach out for me
meet me half way
oh please oh please
someone please
i dont want to be alone anymore
one moment im good and the next im not
its another moment
just breather
from that start over
remember to breathe those breaths
start over its another moment
have a sleep maybe when you arise
Stretch your arms dont let the blood rip and flow
your stronger than this
this is all i got is Love
Love for self Love for God and lastly Love for all
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Fellowship
I call out to my brethen
this may be but a mere cause
it seems not so trivial
when one stops to think for a moment
Dont let the disagreement ruin your friendship
let alone your fellowship in Lord Christ Jesus
Sometimes i wonder if that old devil has his hold on us so dearly
to hear the division spread like wild fire
We no better than muslims who take up wars because their divisions
Does War lie in the hearts of men
even men and women under the Grace of Lord Christ Jesus
I worry
my heart is tender
i distance myself from the Christian community
I dont have thick skin
Should we not find our selves in fellowship
when we gather ours hearts
shall they be under the Grace of God
or in the hands of the old devil
he starts with bickering soon to tell but the emotions of hatred tend to mold and fold with in our hearts
Dont deny ito the non believers as well
Where is the love
Love self before others
but instead i find you picking and teasing as the Christians fight with themselves
Do you not do the same?
That old devil has grip on humanity
even if my heart and soul lies with Jesus Son of Abba
Dont get me wrong i have my flaws to but at least i remember in thy Lord
The Love that is spread to our hearts for our brethen and for our fellowship
Will you allow your bickering to go on further when you know now your at fault
for falling we just are in fellowship to our Lord and Savior
So I beg you as i have begged the lord dont Fall to your despair and ruin a brothers or sisters way in the Lord
I know its hard to soften your heart in the heat of a debate
after all these be wicked times
its getting harder and harder to Love self let along Love another like a brother like family
We are family under God because we his children and they tend to fight only thinking one is right and the other is wrong.
Leave it
your loved by God that should be enough
Stand united under fellowship
its important
believe me i can feel it as bickering and division starts
Dont fall for Satan and his plan to devide us
Dont fall for other humans who want nothing but to destory our hearts
our faith in the Lord
Remember without him I and we are truly lost
So reflect on self
Remember the fellowship its need to keep as a whole
I Pray
In the name of Lord and Savior
I may be just a believer
not yet holding a label such as my brethen
but i worry for them
Give them hearts of love so they can
bring your love and peave to others
help beat that old devil
help them have fellowship
Oh my Lord
keep humble during these dark times
in his name i pray and we say
Amen
this may be but a mere cause
it seems not so trivial
when one stops to think for a moment
Dont let the disagreement ruin your friendship
let alone your fellowship in Lord Christ Jesus
Sometimes i wonder if that old devil has his hold on us so dearly
to hear the division spread like wild fire
We no better than muslims who take up wars because their divisions
Does War lie in the hearts of men
even men and women under the Grace of Lord Christ Jesus
I worry
my heart is tender
i distance myself from the Christian community
I dont have thick skin
Should we not find our selves in fellowship
when we gather ours hearts
shall they be under the Grace of God
or in the hands of the old devil
he starts with bickering soon to tell but the emotions of hatred tend to mold and fold with in our hearts
Dont deny ito the non believers as well
Where is the love
Love self before others
but instead i find you picking and teasing as the Christians fight with themselves
Do you not do the same?
That old devil has grip on humanity
even if my heart and soul lies with Jesus Son of Abba
Dont get me wrong i have my flaws to but at least i remember in thy Lord
The Love that is spread to our hearts for our brethen and for our fellowship
Will you allow your bickering to go on further when you know now your at fault
for falling we just are in fellowship to our Lord and Savior
So I beg you as i have begged the lord dont Fall to your despair and ruin a brothers or sisters way in the Lord
I know its hard to soften your heart in the heat of a debate
after all these be wicked times
its getting harder and harder to Love self let along Love another like a brother like family
We are family under God because we his children and they tend to fight only thinking one is right and the other is wrong.
Leave it
your loved by God that should be enough
Stand united under fellowship
its important
believe me i can feel it as bickering and division starts
Dont fall for Satan and his plan to devide us
Dont fall for other humans who want nothing but to destory our hearts
our faith in the Lord
Remember without him I and we are truly lost
So reflect on self
Remember the fellowship its need to keep as a whole
I Pray
In the name of Lord and Savior
I may be just a believer
not yet holding a label such as my brethen
but i worry for them
Give them hearts of love so they can
bring your love and peave to others
help beat that old devil
help them have fellowship
Oh my Lord
keep humble during these dark times
in his name i pray and we say
Amen
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Twisted
I am calm at the moment
What is the matter with me
I twist and turn in my mind
Might as well called twisted
I dont want to be this way
I want to be free
This happened in islam
and its happening now
Perhaps inner peace will never be found
Im struggling here and there everywhere i go
Im taking them i swear
I dont know what to do
I cant fight back the tears anymore
each one burns my eyes like fire
I know where i stand
that is upon the edge
will my angel catch me
or will fall for my death
either way im a goner
just typing away writing my heart out
no one cares its seems
I might find myself in that little white room
im not going back
this time is the last time
maybe i should go to the doctors
maybe my mind is not well
maybe i should just give up
But i wont because im stubborn
I can beat it
just beat it
into the ground
every word that written down
will conquer the depression
Self harm yet to start
I promised myself never again
will break my word
Only time will tell
as i twist and turn inside my head
insanity is my friend
he lurks on outskirts
i dont think im stable anymore
im not rational
its time will say will ill go
to the little white room
to the hellfire of doom
or just be me
twisted as i seem
insane for moment then rational the next
this is not a way to live
I pray in silence
its not the way my heart says
perhaps thats God and his Grace
Enter oh thy Lord
for kingdom come
we are just small souls waiting for the end
may mine come soon
even if it leads to hellfire
I just want these emotions to end
Up and Down and All Around
jumping here and there
I should be kneeling
but i cant stay still
I grind my teeth
this isnt healthy
I call out to my friends my brethen my family
to help me
for i cannot help myself
i tried and tried
so my family and friends will you watch me
wreck myself as though i am nothing
nothing but emotions that unstable
you question me
go ahead
Im doing everything right
im just tired of this fight
will the war ever end?
why does it have to be this way?
So leave with this plea
grab my hand and help conquer this
or leave in the gutter to wallow
I cant do this alone
medication isnt helping its like my only help is God
God is enough they say
unfortually not for me
I stand tall
Waiting for the end
is here or near or far from here
I hope its Far
I can only hope
hope dont lose that grasp...
What is the matter with me
I twist and turn in my mind
Might as well called twisted
I dont want to be this way
I want to be free
This happened in islam
and its happening now
Perhaps inner peace will never be found
Im struggling here and there everywhere i go
Im taking them i swear
I dont know what to do
I cant fight back the tears anymore
each one burns my eyes like fire
I know where i stand
that is upon the edge
will my angel catch me
or will fall for my death
either way im a goner
just typing away writing my heart out
no one cares its seems
I might find myself in that little white room
im not going back
this time is the last time
maybe i should go to the doctors
maybe my mind is not well
maybe i should just give up
But i wont because im stubborn
I can beat it
just beat it
into the ground
every word that written down
will conquer the depression
Self harm yet to start
I promised myself never again
will break my word
Only time will tell
as i twist and turn inside my head
insanity is my friend
he lurks on outskirts
i dont think im stable anymore
im not rational
its time will say will ill go
to the little white room
to the hellfire of doom
or just be me
twisted as i seem
insane for moment then rational the next
this is not a way to live
I pray in silence
its not the way my heart says
perhaps thats God and his Grace
Enter oh thy Lord
for kingdom come
we are just small souls waiting for the end
may mine come soon
even if it leads to hellfire
I just want these emotions to end
Up and Down and All Around
jumping here and there
I should be kneeling
but i cant stay still
I grind my teeth
this isnt healthy
I call out to my friends my brethen my family
to help me
for i cannot help myself
i tried and tried
so my family and friends will you watch me
wreck myself as though i am nothing
nothing but emotions that unstable
you question me
go ahead
Im doing everything right
im just tired of this fight
will the war ever end?
why does it have to be this way?
So leave with this plea
grab my hand and help conquer this
or leave in the gutter to wallow
I cant do this alone
medication isnt helping its like my only help is God
God is enough they say
unfortually not for me
I stand tall
Waiting for the end
is here or near or far from here
I hope its Far
I can only hope
hope dont lose that grasp...
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
More confusion
scream im crazy
so what if im insane in the membrain
im out of crontrol
who care
i dont care
so
move on my friends
from me
i isolate my self as though im nothing
i came from spirit as God breathed life into me
I wish i wasnt alive
slip that knife down my wrist
no stop
dont tell me that
i cry
tears roll down my face
i twist and turn in my bed
nothing molds my mind like the voices i hear
he he he ha ha ha he he ha ha
they want in
i thought i stopped them
please God i beg you
stop them from affecting me
they just in suggestion
im never alone
ready here they come
must be a jinn or demon
in keyboard
its wants me to cut burn and let out the blood
the blood hits the ground
save for from my self
spit out that vemon
they say the end is not the answer
its not
i just want to be a peace
i was this feeling to disappear
so if i disappear then maybe ill be free
Depression is my friend once upon i said
Emptiness is my misery
please God i pray
save me from myself
this is from me
you wrote in my path
im not strong enough to conquer it
please of lord save
This isnt forever
ill tell you what will be forever
slice the breath away
blood drips down my neck
my last grasp is what dooms me
run oh run
no more running
your out of time
no access to heaven
damned to hell
you took your own life
so dont
you dont want to be there
fire and brimstone
despair emptiness
misery
its there in the hellfire
you will burn
So remember the light inside of us all
Think of him before you cut
think of God because you pick up that knife
think of self and think of the future
its not all misery
knock knock on my heart
i dont want to be selfish
keep on writing
races to the heart
listen to the word to flood out them
they arent real
they are but you and your mind
messed up as that is
erase your mind
dont let the flashbacks scare you
for your stronger now
not a child
but a tall mighty human
im just a human who have our doubts
so i leave you with this
dont lose faith in self
faith in God
Faith in the savior
he wouldnt want you to suffer
afterall he already did the suffering for all of us
dont be so hard on yourself
afterall your human
we make mistakes
i wont to stop
so i hope i will
I pray in the name of Abba the father
save me from myself
grant me my angel
send one in a dream instead of nightmares that shake my head
forgive me for my thoughts and actions
you are mericful of thy lord
in his name
amen
so what if im insane in the membrain
im out of crontrol
who care
i dont care
so
move on my friends
from me
i isolate my self as though im nothing
i came from spirit as God breathed life into me
I wish i wasnt alive
slip that knife down my wrist
no stop
dont tell me that
i cry
tears roll down my face
i twist and turn in my bed
nothing molds my mind like the voices i hear
he he he ha ha ha he he ha ha
they want in
i thought i stopped them
please God i beg you
stop them from affecting me
they just in suggestion
im never alone
ready here they come
must be a jinn or demon
in keyboard
its wants me to cut burn and let out the blood
the blood hits the ground
save for from my self
spit out that vemon
they say the end is not the answer
its not
i just want to be a peace
i was this feeling to disappear
so if i disappear then maybe ill be free
Depression is my friend once upon i said
Emptiness is my misery
please God i pray
save me from myself
this is from me
you wrote in my path
im not strong enough to conquer it
please of lord save
This isnt forever
ill tell you what will be forever
slice the breath away
blood drips down my neck
my last grasp is what dooms me
run oh run
no more running
your out of time
no access to heaven
damned to hell
you took your own life
so dont
you dont want to be there
fire and brimstone
despair emptiness
misery
its there in the hellfire
you will burn
So remember the light inside of us all
Think of him before you cut
think of God because you pick up that knife
think of self and think of the future
its not all misery
knock knock on my heart
i dont want to be selfish
keep on writing
races to the heart
listen to the word to flood out them
they arent real
they are but you and your mind
messed up as that is
erase your mind
dont let the flashbacks scare you
for your stronger now
not a child
but a tall mighty human
im just a human who have our doubts
so i leave you with this
dont lose faith in self
faith in God
Faith in the savior
he wouldnt want you to suffer
afterall he already did the suffering for all of us
dont be so hard on yourself
afterall your human
we make mistakes
i wont to stop
so i hope i will
I pray in the name of Abba the father
save me from myself
grant me my angel
send one in a dream instead of nightmares that shake my head
forgive me for my thoughts and actions
you are mericful of thy lord
in his name
amen
Now
I feel as though I am being pulled
through the darkness
what will come through this darkness
if i am to survive
I dont want i am suppose to believe
I once did
this darkness lingers in my hear
Will the light rest in the end
I being dragged by the lockes of my hair
just like when i was but child
Where oh where
Darkness are you dragging me
making my emotions so unbearable
Here i am today happy as can be
no darkness wont allow that
Emptiness isnt far
as my fingers drag across the floor
I scream
As loud as i can be
yet no ones hears me
dont meep not a peep
mouth sewed shut
Knock Knock on heavens door
do i get admitted nor does man know
knock knock on heavens door
Im reaching out to thy lord
The light withers as darkness surrounds the heart
Fallen i am like an angel
those who rebeled be damned
I dont want to be damned
Deviant i am
but may the power of christ compel that all evil leaves you
my desires are wrong
what worries me more is this emptiness this darkness
light is withering and darkness leads on
Where is my angel
I close and reopen to releaize tis was but a dream
Im not damn because im child of light
its shines brightly but do not deceived
whispers are in hearts of humanity
these wicked and dangerous times
waiting on the hour
for him alone
I fear for the antichrist shall soon rear his face
but fear not for God is on your side
the rightous
the just
the merciful
remember the past
dont let it control you
your stronger than that
that old devil wants fool into the darkness
there he pounces like you are his prey
will he devour your soul
in the hearts of humanity he snickers
we far from the light
but that little flicker is but Hope
Hope for today so it brings tomorrow
perhaps it will be better day
Pounder on young one
dont lose your grasp
for your sanity is near it
through the darkness
what will come through this darkness
if i am to survive
I dont want i am suppose to believe
I once did
this darkness lingers in my hear
Will the light rest in the end
I being dragged by the lockes of my hair
just like when i was but child
Where oh where
Darkness are you dragging me
making my emotions so unbearable
Here i am today happy as can be
no darkness wont allow that
Emptiness isnt far
as my fingers drag across the floor
I scream
As loud as i can be
yet no ones hears me
dont meep not a peep
mouth sewed shut
Knock Knock on heavens door
do i get admitted nor does man know
knock knock on heavens door
Im reaching out to thy lord
The light withers as darkness surrounds the heart
Fallen i am like an angel
those who rebeled be damned
I dont want to be damned
Deviant i am
but may the power of christ compel that all evil leaves you
my desires are wrong
what worries me more is this emptiness this darkness
light is withering and darkness leads on
Where is my angel
I close and reopen to releaize tis was but a dream
Im not damn because im child of light
its shines brightly but do not deceived
whispers are in hearts of humanity
these wicked and dangerous times
waiting on the hour
for him alone
I fear for the antichrist shall soon rear his face
but fear not for God is on your side
the rightous
the just
the merciful
remember the past
dont let it control you
your stronger than that
that old devil wants fool into the darkness
there he pounces like you are his prey
will he devour your soul
in the hearts of humanity he snickers
we far from the light
but that little flicker is but Hope
Hope for today so it brings tomorrow
perhaps it will be better day
Pounder on young one
dont lose your grasp
for your sanity is near it
Monday, September 14, 2015
Memory "warning Triggering"
Creep goes the door
never knowing who enters
I want to hide under the covers
that the child I am
Afraid
Tears rolling down my cheeks
under the covers
breathing quietly
The door opens and the christmas tree lights are on
sparkle red green and yellow from the star
The beast bears his teeth as he gentle breaths in and out
Must be a beast
I cry
Screaming on the inside
those tears roll down my face
the cover is removed
his cold hands touch my skin
taking my innocence
That was so long ago
its hurts me so
these memories
I just wish they would go away
I dont want to remember
please save me
Little girl screaming on the inside
she wants to be free but instead of freedom
She takes the blade to that soft white skin
like snow white she was
now she is broken
the beast snickers
he chases her
its game his head
its not game
its not funny
dont joke
before i may choke
Right i was choked
Remember
I dont want to remember
I want this flash of memories to pass
but the tears flow
Im not strong enough
please emotions dont surface tonight
Cant i just forget
go on with day
but no
I dont care
Take a razor
slice and dice
no no no
thats not the way
your losing the war
Tears must be released
and put faith back in God
He is just
he serves justice
he knows our hearts
Who is the savior?
not I
but him
we know him
he smiles
in my dreams
his light is everlasting
dont lose your faith
just because your innocence was ripped from your grasp
take it back
worry not for God is on your side
so hang my head in sorrow only to feel the light
so please dont drag me down emotions
keep the faith
in his name
Amen
never knowing who enters
I want to hide under the covers
that the child I am
Afraid
Tears rolling down my cheeks
under the covers
breathing quietly
The door opens and the christmas tree lights are on
sparkle red green and yellow from the star
The beast bears his teeth as he gentle breaths in and out
Must be a beast
I cry
Screaming on the inside
those tears roll down my face
the cover is removed
his cold hands touch my skin
taking my innocence
That was so long ago
its hurts me so
these memories
I just wish they would go away
I dont want to remember
please save me
Little girl screaming on the inside
she wants to be free but instead of freedom
She takes the blade to that soft white skin
like snow white she was
now she is broken
the beast snickers
he chases her
its game his head
its not game
its not funny
dont joke
before i may choke
Right i was choked
Remember
I dont want to remember
I want this flash of memories to pass
but the tears flow
Im not strong enough
please emotions dont surface tonight
Cant i just forget
go on with day
but no
I dont care
Take a razor
slice and dice
no no no
thats not the way
your losing the war
Tears must be released
and put faith back in God
He is just
he serves justice
he knows our hearts
Who is the savior?
not I
but him
we know him
he smiles
in my dreams
his light is everlasting
dont lose your faith
just because your innocence was ripped from your grasp
take it back
worry not for God is on your side
so hang my head in sorrow only to feel the light
so please dont drag me down emotions
keep the faith
in his name
Amen
Saturday, September 12, 2015
I admit
Its hard to admit
but im scared
of what i will feel
I feel love in my heart
is this grace
I felt this way before
maybe a year so ago
I thought on the right path
Man i even quote myself that i believed in him
I was faithful
Then man ruined it for me
Shame on me
For turning my back on truth
closing my heart to him alone
I thought God hated me
truth is i hate myself
I used to anyways
people always look at me and shake their heads
because of my battle scars
whisper whisper goes the world
whisper whisper goes that old devil
he curses me
he curses man
all because of jealousy
Why
maybe i shall turn to God
Maybe God is Jesus
Maybe holy spirit is there as well
Doesnt the holy spirit make so we have grace
are able to consume the grace of God
God the father Abba
Jesus the son the Savior
Holy Spirit the grace
I could be wrong
I shall ponder upon it
Truly this is truth
I know now
my mind is clouded
But i still am me
Just me
And what did God want us to be
Being that i am
I maybe a sinner
but Sin maybe forgiven
May he forgive me for my actions
and protect from the whispers
my heart need protection
Iron clad of Gold shields me from that devil
His Grace protects my soul
His grace admits for to heaven
Though i just want to see my father
Thats the little girl inside of me says
Someday soon it shall come true
By his glory only
Oh Lord save me from myself
and my wicked deviant ways
Clear the path
upon the heart
lift the myst
from my path and with your grace
I shall obey
in his name
Ameen
but im scared
of what i will feel
I feel love in my heart
is this grace
I felt this way before
maybe a year so ago
I thought on the right path
Man i even quote myself that i believed in him
I was faithful
Then man ruined it for me
Shame on me
For turning my back on truth
closing my heart to him alone
I thought God hated me
truth is i hate myself
I used to anyways
people always look at me and shake their heads
because of my battle scars
whisper whisper goes the world
whisper whisper goes that old devil
he curses me
he curses man
all because of jealousy
Why
maybe i shall turn to God
Maybe God is Jesus
Maybe holy spirit is there as well
Doesnt the holy spirit make so we have grace
are able to consume the grace of God
God the father Abba
Jesus the son the Savior
Holy Spirit the grace
I could be wrong
I shall ponder upon it
Truly this is truth
I know now
my mind is clouded
But i still am me
Just me
And what did God want us to be
Being that i am
I maybe a sinner
but Sin maybe forgiven
May he forgive me for my actions
and protect from the whispers
my heart need protection
Iron clad of Gold shields me from that devil
His Grace protects my soul
His grace admits for to heaven
Though i just want to see my father
Thats the little girl inside of me says
Someday soon it shall come true
By his glory only
Oh Lord save me from myself
and my wicked deviant ways
Clear the path
upon the heart
lift the myst
from my path and with your grace
I shall obey
in his name
Ameen
War
I feel as though Im in a tug o war
between islam and christianty
i dont know which to choose
I feel as though islam is engraved in my heart
and well its hard scratch that out
There are some old remendys
Which call upon Power of Allah
that there is nothing to fear
as long as Allah is here
I know i be quoting that all wrong
Then there is Grace of God
not sure about the son but Abba seems to know my heart
The father watches his children
I suppose as the war goes on tugging on heart and soul
ripping it apart as though i will be nothing
Its like with medication i dont want to be the person i was without it
Same with God
I tried hard
Really i did
I just cant stop believing in him
His grace surely rumbles into my heart
outburst a rainbow of hope of true light
I hope so anyways
Will Grace or Glory win the battle
Allah is merciful
Abba is loving
Allah has no children
where Abba does
for God loved the world so much he sent his only begotten son
To die for you
Dont know if i can believe that
As i ruled out sin
Im tired of feel bad for who i am
for my so called sins
I spent so much heartache and pain repenting
WHY
why must i repent when its all natural
Maybe the self harm isnt natural
but the bisexual part
I cant change even if i wanted it
Shouldnt God love you reguardless
Not damn you to hell for following your nafs
I be damned if ill repent again
or confess my sins
But did he him that son of Abba die for us
I thought i believed it before
he died for you
they say
and then again did die for devaints such as i
I barely LOVE myself
But that dont matter for GOD
Loves you
no matter what you say
he knows whats inside
So where do i stand but upon the ledge
Will God catch me
Or will Allah damn me
and my brethen
soul for believeing in the heart for the love of the heart
Stop this war on me
Before it kills me
and i go where i know im going
Hellfire calls my name
each battle scar proves that misery despair hopeless is in my future
not rivers of wine and divine grace
I dont care
God knows whats in my heart
I only want to see one person again
And if that is possible
I know it isnt in islam because he was a kaffir
So screw Allah and jannah
I dont need them
I just need GRACE
Let the grace flow through my heart
Making me grow in light with Abba his grace will save me from myself
For i am most wicked to myself
That old devil whispers his way through my heart
But Abba and his Grace shall shatter his hold on my heart
For he is all powerful all knowledgeable
I end this with relief i finnally know who to love
and that is myself and Abba
no one else
Fear not child of God
his grace shall bind and hold you
as you tremble from his might
but fear not
Love is powerful
Lover is everlasting
between islam and christianty
i dont know which to choose
I feel as though islam is engraved in my heart
and well its hard scratch that out
There are some old remendys
Which call upon Power of Allah
that there is nothing to fear
as long as Allah is here
I know i be quoting that all wrong
Then there is Grace of God
not sure about the son but Abba seems to know my heart
The father watches his children
I suppose as the war goes on tugging on heart and soul
ripping it apart as though i will be nothing
Its like with medication i dont want to be the person i was without it
Same with God
I tried hard
Really i did
I just cant stop believing in him
His grace surely rumbles into my heart
outburst a rainbow of hope of true light
I hope so anyways
Will Grace or Glory win the battle
Allah is merciful
Abba is loving
Allah has no children
where Abba does
for God loved the world so much he sent his only begotten son
To die for you
Dont know if i can believe that
As i ruled out sin
Im tired of feel bad for who i am
for my so called sins
I spent so much heartache and pain repenting
WHY
why must i repent when its all natural
Maybe the self harm isnt natural
but the bisexual part
I cant change even if i wanted it
Shouldnt God love you reguardless
Not damn you to hell for following your nafs
I be damned if ill repent again
or confess my sins
But did he him that son of Abba die for us
I thought i believed it before
he died for you
they say
and then again did die for devaints such as i
I barely LOVE myself
But that dont matter for GOD
Loves you
no matter what you say
he knows whats inside
So where do i stand but upon the ledge
Will God catch me
Or will Allah damn me
and my brethen
soul for believeing in the heart for the love of the heart
Stop this war on me
Before it kills me
and i go where i know im going
Hellfire calls my name
each battle scar proves that misery despair hopeless is in my future
not rivers of wine and divine grace
I dont care
God knows whats in my heart
I only want to see one person again
And if that is possible
I know it isnt in islam because he was a kaffir
So screw Allah and jannah
I dont need them
I just need GRACE
Let the grace flow through my heart
Making me grow in light with Abba his grace will save me from myself
For i am most wicked to myself
That old devil whispers his way through my heart
But Abba and his Grace shall shatter his hold on my heart
For he is all powerful all knowledgeable
I end this with relief i finnally know who to love
and that is myself and Abba
no one else
Fear not child of God
his grace shall bind and hold you
as you tremble from his might
but fear not
Love is powerful
Lover is everlasting
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Reach
Despair we all go through it
some more than others
i dont know what say
truly but in my heart i pray
to who?
That be him alone God almighty
I thought i could follow such a dangerous path
such as polytheism
i will always have my hertiage
I wont leave it behind me
I am me after all
Depression here it tonight anyways
lingering in my thoughts
i didnt choose to feel this way
nor do i want anyone to feel it
I will keep to myself
I will not burden anyone with my despair
maybe other than to share my thoughts
ponders and wonders around and around
ring around the rosey
afterall we all fall downn
Falling I feel like im failing
Im just a mess
on a radical changee sc
Mania is here and ready to be disturbed
As it slumbers snoreing ZZZZZ
it suddenly stops and reaches out to my heart
Do not worry my beast is strong inside me
maybe a few more battle scars
Slice and dice
Flee like mice
unsure what the outcome will be
DEpression its such a burden
it stirs up to much despair
to much unwanted emotions
but
Thank God
For him
Alhamduillah
And thanks for the family
the brother and sisters in this world we currently know
Community is important i hope so day ill find one where i will be happy
I would be lying to say i wasnt happy
but im tired of tossing and turning in my bed
my head spins round and round
Goodness
is needed
So PRay do dua remember
your not alone just reachout
someone will have their arm out aswell
ready to help you
humanity
companionship
compassion
its all needed in the heart to survive
because these be wicked times
so reflect and do some radical for a change
let that mania flow
at least youll be on that high on life and not in depressive of self
mania mania mania here i come
not holding you back anymore
some more than others
i dont know what say
truly but in my heart i pray
to who?
That be him alone God almighty
I thought i could follow such a dangerous path
such as polytheism
i will always have my hertiage
I wont leave it behind me
I am me after all
Depression here it tonight anyways
lingering in my thoughts
i didnt choose to feel this way
nor do i want anyone to feel it
I will keep to myself
I will not burden anyone with my despair
maybe other than to share my thoughts
ponders and wonders around and around
ring around the rosey
afterall we all fall downn
Falling I feel like im failing
Im just a mess
on a radical changee sc
Mania is here and ready to be disturbed
As it slumbers snoreing ZZZZZ
it suddenly stops and reaches out to my heart
Do not worry my beast is strong inside me
maybe a few more battle scars
Slice and dice
Flee like mice
unsure what the outcome will be
DEpression its such a burden
it stirs up to much despair
to much unwanted emotions
but
Thank God
For him
Alhamduillah
And thanks for the family
the brother and sisters in this world we currently know
Community is important i hope so day ill find one where i will be happy
I would be lying to say i wasnt happy
but im tired of tossing and turning in my bed
my head spins round and round
Goodness
is needed
So PRay do dua remember
your not alone just reachout
someone will have their arm out aswell
ready to help you
humanity
companionship
compassion
its all needed in the heart to survive
because these be wicked times
so reflect and do some radical for a change
let that mania flow
at least youll be on that high on life and not in depressive of self
mania mania mania here i come
not holding you back anymore
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Kindered Spirit
This is a new taste
A new look on life
No longer
Am I Afraid of death
Nor am I afraid of God, Gods, Goddesses
Fear turns the heart violent
Hate you feel it
I don't anymore
I won't allow it to control my feelings
to darken the heart
for I am
me
just a being
Who may be losing the old self
I am rational
The bad ways that clouded my judgement is gone
There is not just one and only one way
Judgement leave it at the door please
Raven who holds my spirit Tight
Control my hearts desires as Gaia
She holds our spirits close to hers
afterall her tears is what formed us together
Maybe its folklore of an old memory
maybe a reality in the making
I dont know
That ilm is not in my hands
perhaps within my spirit guides
Deep breathes
I breathe
Relax
Close our eyes
time will pass like hours within seconds
Take to the plaine beyond what my soul can comperhend
Fly me across the ocean of stars
Maybe Gaia the mother or lover was meant to be a guide
go back
back to beggining of time of your brethen
your family that is what counts
home is where the heart is
Remember your a Robinson
Look back in your mind and remember
its written there in your soul your reality
I am rational
dont look to deep
you may get lost within the abyss of lost spirits
those who have rejected their guides
Raven knows where to go
Follow the flight on the plaines
it will take you to a rational time
similar to this one
your Rational
that is right
believe it and so be it
follow your reality of the heart
Happiness
you found it
took a while
but now you know
meditation was learned for this to be a reality
who know happiness was real
smile onward kindered one
A new look on life
No longer
Am I Afraid of death
Nor am I afraid of God, Gods, Goddesses
Fear turns the heart violent
Hate you feel it
I don't anymore
I won't allow it to control my feelings
to darken the heart
for I am
me
just a being
Who may be losing the old self
I am rational
The bad ways that clouded my judgement is gone
There is not just one and only one way
Judgement leave it at the door please
Raven who holds my spirit Tight
Control my hearts desires as Gaia
She holds our spirits close to hers
afterall her tears is what formed us together
Maybe its folklore of an old memory
maybe a reality in the making
I dont know
That ilm is not in my hands
perhaps within my spirit guides
Deep breathes
I breathe
Relax
Close our eyes
time will pass like hours within seconds
Take to the plaine beyond what my soul can comperhend
Fly me across the ocean of stars
Maybe Gaia the mother or lover was meant to be a guide
go back
back to beggining of time of your brethen
your family that is what counts
home is where the heart is
Remember your a Robinson
Look back in your mind and remember
its written there in your soul your reality
I am rational
dont look to deep
you may get lost within the abyss of lost spirits
those who have rejected their guides
Raven knows where to go
Follow the flight on the plaines
it will take you to a rational time
similar to this one
your Rational
that is right
believe it and so be it
follow your reality of the heart
Happiness
you found it
took a while
but now you know
meditation was learned for this to be a reality
who know happiness was real
smile onward kindered one
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
The Old Ways
After losing my self in religion
All the guilt was there the self hate
Even unjust God stands
Who says he isn't real is but fool but to say there is more than one maybe full of ilm.
After abandoning my Shahada and my Eman on the Deen.
I found where I was when most vulnerable.
Those who know me know Seco holds my heart dear and guides me. I may have went searching for ilm and got little lost.
Zigzag through monotheism like nothing but I'm good. Some good came from it, but as I grow more and more.
Confidant I am
Because it feels right it even bear tears that lost my way.
Worry not for the old ways make the heart right makes it so it burns bright
With Seco in the heart who but the Wise and Noble mother is here she protects her own.
Remember her claw is near your heart.
Who is swift but trickery is near his intentions. Whose howl shakes the very heavens.
Do not be mistaken for jannah.
These thoughts are opening a new realm within the mind far my from reality as though it may be seen and known.
I feel as though the more I seek from times do find Seco, the Mother, and the Fang.
These just opening a new thought pattern nothing bad will from it, ilm good or bad it's still ilm.
It's you in the end who decides what to experience and the consequences. With that you determine to take ilm or not.
This is opening a new me
But still taking the roots back to my beginning and beyond. For the old ways are right.
As the Gods watch over us all with this realm and others. Just because don't understand doesn't mean you less of a being.
Finally I can only grow from now
No longer shrouded in shadow in darkness in filth and injustice.
Thank you to those over years have guided and helped. Brethren under breathe. Don't forget to breathe it's important. We all serve some sort of purpose perhaps someday you'll find it.
Till another time across the world with the rainbow that is light. You won't find her till you look at science and your mind develops. There is ilm everywhere.
Remember to breathe those breathes. They keep you alive
So remember we're the care givers.
So plant a tree or two. It may save the tree of might. Mighty al qadar.
The old ways
After losing my self in religion
All the guilt was there the self hate
Even unjust God stands
Who says he isn't real is but fool but to say there is more than one maybe full of ilm.
After abandoning my Shahada and my Eman on the Deen.
I found where I was when most vulnerable.
Those who know me know Seco holds my heart dear and guides me. I may have went searching for ilm and got little lost.
Zigzag through monotheism like nothing but I'm grab. Some good came from it, but as I grow more and more.
Confidant I am
Because it feels right it even bear tears that lost my way.
Worry not for the old ways make the heart right makes it so it burns bright
With Seco in the heart who but the Wise and Noble mother is here she protects her own.
Remember her claw is near your heart.
Who is swift but trickery is near his intentions. Whose howl shakes the very heavens.
Do not be mistaken for jannah.
These thoughts are opening a new realm within the mind far my from reality as though it may be seen and known.
I feel as though the more I seek from times do find Seco, the Mother, and the Fang.
These just opening a new thought pattern nothing bad will from it, ilm good or bad it's still ilm.
It's you in the end who decides what to experience and the consequences. With that you determine to take ilm or not.
This is opening a new me
But still taking the roots back to my beginning and beyond. For the old ways are right.
As the Gods watch over us all with this realm and others. Just because don't understand doesn't mean you less of a being.
Finally I can only grow from now
No longer shrouded in shadow in darkness in filth and injustice.
Thank you to those over years have guided and helped. Brethren under breathe. Don't forget to breathe it's important. We all serve some sort of purpose perhaps someday you'll find it.
Till another time across the world with the rainbow that is light. You won't find her till you look at science and your mind develops. There is ilm everywhere.
Remember to breathe those breathes. They keep you alive
So remember we're the care givers.
So plant a tree or two. It may save the tree of might. Mighty al qadar.
Monday, May 25, 2015
lost
Darkness where does it come from
inside of me
I feel as though nothing can break through the barrier that I have made
I feel strong
Yet I need substances to get me through the day
When will I be able to just rely on self
Darkness cannot exist without Light
like I said before shade is produced when both dark and light collide
shade as said to be mental disorders
of any kind
For me its the borderline
I dont know what to do
Take a pill
make it all go away
for a time
that is just a small temporary solution to a bigger problem
Deep breathes
Close my eyes
eye lids heavy with watery tears ever flowing down my face
I am lost within the midst of my mind
Screaming on the inside
I have said before nothing will get me down
but I have begged God to save me from myself
Yet here I am again in my rambles of my lost solitude
My mind is stable
So it seems to the naked eye as pears upon me
I smile remember to smile with your eyes
if you do so its quite the reminder to keep the heart light
As I remember the past
my father who hath passed so long ago
I punish myself souly because its been so long I have forgotten his words his voice
When family come to me and say that I am just like him
I just want to fall to my knees and cry out every tear
I miss him so much yet I barely know him
This must be my punishment
Afterall we are living in own personal hell
I dont know what the night holds for me
I reach out and nothing
my friends dont understand
even though they go through the darkness and take a pill for a solution
Perhaps this is mistake this life
and I should just end it....
Well is that the right choice to end my own life
Probually not
but why did God put the memory of me within me having blades in my hand
maybe im going insane
maybe time will tell
inside of me
I feel as though nothing can break through the barrier that I have made
I feel strong
Yet I need substances to get me through the day
When will I be able to just rely on self
Darkness cannot exist without Light
like I said before shade is produced when both dark and light collide
shade as said to be mental disorders
of any kind
For me its the borderline
I dont know what to do
Take a pill
make it all go away
for a time
that is just a small temporary solution to a bigger problem
Deep breathes
Close my eyes
eye lids heavy with watery tears ever flowing down my face
I am lost within the midst of my mind
Screaming on the inside
I have said before nothing will get me down
but I have begged God to save me from myself
Yet here I am again in my rambles of my lost solitude
My mind is stable
So it seems to the naked eye as pears upon me
I smile remember to smile with your eyes
if you do so its quite the reminder to keep the heart light
As I remember the past
my father who hath passed so long ago
I punish myself souly because its been so long I have forgotten his words his voice
When family come to me and say that I am just like him
I just want to fall to my knees and cry out every tear
I miss him so much yet I barely know him
This must be my punishment
Afterall we are living in own personal hell
I dont know what the night holds for me
I reach out and nothing
my friends dont understand
even though they go through the darkness and take a pill for a solution
Perhaps this is mistake this life
and I should just end it....
Well is that the right choice to end my own life
Probually not
but why did God put the memory of me within me having blades in my hand
maybe im going insane
maybe time will tell
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Without him I am Lost
I feel my heart pound away
not sleeping surely done its toll
memories are faded within the dust of past
will this be my solitude into the abyss of memories
I shed tears of agony
only to feel worthless
I want to take the blade in my hand
I want too
but I wont I have eman
It keeps me close to God to Allah
as I make dua to him alone
Oh Allah save me from myself
make it easier for me
yet its not
each passing minute is horror to me
my heart trembles as it beats away
Why must I deal with external pain in my heart
But at las it remains a mystery why
So I revert back to natural way
maybe its good maybe its not
Deep breaths keeps the mind stable and calm
with this I think to myself
I can conquer all that is written in this test mine
For I am never alone for Allah on is my side
Small breathes now
As tears roll my down my cheeks
are they for joy or despair Allahu allim
I think that I am thankful for this test of mine
even it pains me so
That I want to taste the bullet
Thank God I don't own a pistol
For I surely would perished long ago
Even if I'm on the ground worshiping my Lord
I am walking with despair
My only savior is Allah
I seek refuge in him alone
From the whispers of Satan
His whispers are harsh on my heart
As the beats rapidly
and painfully
It will not get me down
For I have Allah on my side
no matter how manic I become
How insane I feel
I see now that its Allah in me that reaches out for help
So brethen of the ummah
Will you help me in this solitude of my soul
As it clings to my spirit
Ready for it to be released
The time has not come
the Hour still ticks
The beat wraps in rhythm
La illah il Allah
That is the words that always ring my mind
Not the monsters that claw deep in me
For I'm a warrior
Remember this Ukhti
Never give up
After all like it truly a struggle to survive
I take this Jihad as my own burden
But it will never completely consume me
For even when my back is turned to Allah
He loves me
Its unconditional Love
That is Allah's alone his mercy to his slaves
be thankful for that Alhamduillah
Allahu Akbar
God is the greatest
Hopefully this will help for you
as much as did for me oh ummah
May Allah grant you Jannah in the hightest record
Inshallah tallah ameen
not sleeping surely done its toll
memories are faded within the dust of past
will this be my solitude into the abyss of memories
I shed tears of agony
only to feel worthless
I want to take the blade in my hand
I want too
but I wont I have eman
It keeps me close to God to Allah
as I make dua to him alone
Oh Allah save me from myself
make it easier for me
yet its not
each passing minute is horror to me
my heart trembles as it beats away
Why must I deal with external pain in my heart
But at las it remains a mystery why
So I revert back to natural way
maybe its good maybe its not
Deep breaths keeps the mind stable and calm
with this I think to myself
I can conquer all that is written in this test mine
For I am never alone for Allah on is my side
Small breathes now
As tears roll my down my cheeks
are they for joy or despair Allahu allim
I think that I am thankful for this test of mine
even it pains me so
That I want to taste the bullet
Thank God I don't own a pistol
For I surely would perished long ago
Even if I'm on the ground worshiping my Lord
I am walking with despair
My only savior is Allah
I seek refuge in him alone
From the whispers of Satan
His whispers are harsh on my heart
As the beats rapidly
and painfully
It will not get me down
For I have Allah on my side
no matter how manic I become
How insane I feel
I see now that its Allah in me that reaches out for help
So brethen of the ummah
Will you help me in this solitude of my soul
As it clings to my spirit
Ready for it to be released
The time has not come
the Hour still ticks
The beat wraps in rhythm
La illah il Allah
That is the words that always ring my mind
Not the monsters that claw deep in me
For I'm a warrior
Remember this Ukhti
Never give up
After all like it truly a struggle to survive
I take this Jihad as my own burden
But it will never completely consume me
For even when my back is turned to Allah
He loves me
Its unconditional Love
That is Allah's alone his mercy to his slaves
be thankful for that Alhamduillah
Allahu Akbar
God is the greatest
Hopefully this will help for you
as much as did for me oh ummah
May Allah grant you Jannah in the hightest record
Inshallah tallah ameen
Monday, April 27, 2015
Vastly calm
Oh come of the storm above the flowers comes the storm will you show us the way of the night pouring rain upon the sunshine rice flowers rice patties showing us to live on feeding us so we are strong hopefully the storm will move on
- http://pinterest.com/pin/329607266455528262/?s=3&m=blogger
Serenity
renamonkalou: Eleven Mile Reservoir Milky Way (Colorado)by Lars Leber - http://pinterest.com/pin/512706738805206646/?s=3&m=blogger
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Sunshine
guess what
things are changeing
I met someone years ago
i didnt think it would turn out like this when i met him
but alhamduillah for the way things turned out
he is a ball of sunshine
the ultiment star
after all im star child
who needs the moon
after all the Sun is the bringer of life
this name shall remain a secret
until further notice
but Sunshine you are me alone
you take my breath away with your words
I tell you something about me
something im ashamed of
and you tell me to keep my chin up
to have better self esteem
thanks
its means alot
I guess Allah truly brings people together for a reason
he alone knows whats in the heart of humanity
and we all touch eachother in the heart so
I/ dont want to be alone
Silly i am
because im never alone
For Allah is in my heart
And now i have my sunshine
Im still a star child in the sky
but i found my light
that keeps me shinning
so Sunshine
you say im Sunshine as well
maybe thats because im a star as well
A Star child waiting for you sunshine
Take that solar flair and send it into my heart
Soon we shall be together
may this last forever
inshallah my friend inshallah
till we meet again Sun Child
your reguards from Star Child
Alhamduillah
La illah ill Allah
Muhammadan rusullah
Till the end of this life
and in the hereafter
inshallah tallah my friend
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
New to old and overcoming all
Victory we have it now
Dead and die inside the bodies
once upon time in time
we didn't have to be half starved to be beautiful
after all isn't it in the eye of beholder
i thought we teach our children to not judge others by their looks but by their actions
Don't judge a book by its cover after all
it may be a good read
taking on the edge of the seats
as each page touches your fingers like
the crows feet on older women
or cracked hands of working individual
they all are ripples in destiny
telling stories
like smile lines on a face
does that mean that person was happy the majority of their life
or just being a fake
you cant tell just by looking at them
but to interact with a person
open the book
sail the seas
back children
they can vile as they grow and more and more corrupted by society and judgement that society gives to youth
To carve words into you skin
to cut out the wounds
to swollen the darkness away
to eat binge until you explode
to purge from eating so much
to feel accepted in society
to starve ones self
to shoot up
to smoke
why do we should the youth to do this
because now more and more we see children maybe our own children
on the streets begging for their next fix
is it to escape reality as we know it
What is so different from what majority of young adults do now
numbing their mind mobile devices
kind of sad when your in a room with your friends not one word spoken
just rings and dingles and chimes
to pass the texting of society as we know it
when will we get past this and just breathe
listen and talk to one another
To go to a crowd and scream a thousand voices
no one will hear you because they so wrapped up in mobile land
of oh la la
Sex sells
but should we allow children to be exposed to sex
If we are against then we must shun them from popular music
the media we as we know it
that women even men must over sexualitied to curve someones interest
in one another
so young i have heard of child brides
over seas
is that right
i think not now
maybe back in Christs time it was
but not in today's society is it accepted
so we condemn them
yet when a person is caught exploiting a child with sex or engaging child porno we hardly give them slap on wrists then send them on their merry way
to corrupt more souls more Innocent ones
how is that justice
should we leave it up to the see called God for just acts in so called afterlife
that's but Alice in wonder land heaven does know I'm miserable now
Does heaven really matter
your small mind cannot expand if you live your life to want to go to heaven
cannot you just do a justice act kindness and humble deed without God giving you something in return
I myself do deed for the betterment of my own mind to keep me stable
yes i was one to write love on her arms
not anymore the scars are only witness to my act of self harm
and they will be my last next to my word
but i will speak against anyone who influences another to do it
to want that hatred of self to explode until nothing if left but bones
Like a starving child in the third world
or raped child in the first world
its all the same
wreck a child and you turn them into destructive force
but we can over come the Medias hate towards what is different
i couldn't change myself even if i wanted too
why should for society to accept me
when i have already loved myself whole for who i am
I will speak out against any hate toward children youth young adults and the elders
we are the new generation
don't fall to the mobile silence
speak up
Speeches are formed
videos are made
and we in the underground shall rise to the top and take over
for this is the new world
a new generation
Hope for today so it will bring a better tomorrow
Dead and die inside the bodies
once upon time in time
we didn't have to be half starved to be beautiful
after all isn't it in the eye of beholder
i thought we teach our children to not judge others by their looks but by their actions
Don't judge a book by its cover after all
it may be a good read
taking on the edge of the seats
as each page touches your fingers like
the crows feet on older women
or cracked hands of working individual
they all are ripples in destiny
telling stories
like smile lines on a face
does that mean that person was happy the majority of their life
or just being a fake
you cant tell just by looking at them
but to interact with a person
open the book
sail the seas
back children
they can vile as they grow and more and more corrupted by society and judgement that society gives to youth
To carve words into you skin
to cut out the wounds
to swollen the darkness away
to eat binge until you explode
to purge from eating so much
to feel accepted in society
to starve ones self
to shoot up
to smoke
why do we should the youth to do this
because now more and more we see children maybe our own children
on the streets begging for their next fix
is it to escape reality as we know it
What is so different from what majority of young adults do now
numbing their mind mobile devices
kind of sad when your in a room with your friends not one word spoken
just rings and dingles and chimes
to pass the texting of society as we know it
when will we get past this and just breathe
listen and talk to one another
To go to a crowd and scream a thousand voices
no one will hear you because they so wrapped up in mobile land
of oh la la
Sex sells
but should we allow children to be exposed to sex
If we are against then we must shun them from popular music
the media we as we know it
that women even men must over sexualitied to curve someones interest
in one another
so young i have heard of child brides
over seas
is that right
i think not now
maybe back in Christs time it was
but not in today's society is it accepted
so we condemn them
yet when a person is caught exploiting a child with sex or engaging child porno we hardly give them slap on wrists then send them on their merry way
to corrupt more souls more Innocent ones
how is that justice
should we leave it up to the see called God for just acts in so called afterlife
that's but Alice in wonder land heaven does know I'm miserable now
Does heaven really matter
your small mind cannot expand if you live your life to want to go to heaven
cannot you just do a justice act kindness and humble deed without God giving you something in return
I myself do deed for the betterment of my own mind to keep me stable
yes i was one to write love on her arms
not anymore the scars are only witness to my act of self harm
and they will be my last next to my word
but i will speak against anyone who influences another to do it
to want that hatred of self to explode until nothing if left but bones
Like a starving child in the third world
or raped child in the first world
its all the same
wreck a child and you turn them into destructive force
but we can over come the Medias hate towards what is different
i couldn't change myself even if i wanted too
why should for society to accept me
when i have already loved myself whole for who i am
I will speak out against any hate toward children youth young adults and the elders
we are the new generation
don't fall to the mobile silence
speak up
Speeches are formed
videos are made
and we in the underground shall rise to the top and take over
for this is the new world
a new generation
Hope for today so it will bring a better tomorrow
Friday, February 13, 2015
Victory and Peace
I close my eyes
only to have my mind wander
into the nights sky
the universe is near the mind
for it can expand
I hate my mind at times
I tend to lose my mind at most times
as my doctor makes rash choices
he doesn't understand that I fear the darkness the most
emptiness lingers there shadows of the mind
I open my eyes for the tears are swelled up
dripping down my face
my glasses are fogged up
and I can barely see
my body, you think I would hate myself so
for the scars
I have hurt myself so much
that was the old me
I know how to overcome the emptiness
even if I'm lost within the midst of my mind
I'm still free
I'm beautiful
I smile
Its a kindness
Go to the mirror everyday and smile
say to your self I love you
I'm worth it
because if I'm worth it
so is anyone else who suffers from mental health issues
I want to be Solid like a Rock in the Ocean of Stars
The current can sweep you up
as every emotion run through your veins
I feel so different today
after all
new cocktail of meds
I can't cry anymore
I am trying
I want to give up
But
I wont
because I'm stronger than that
I was victim
then a survivor
now truly a warrior
So Warrior
With you battle scars
grab you war paint
prepare your self
for the emptiness
the flood
of emotions
I shudder as goosebumps cover me head to toe
Now I must conquer my emotions
that is my struggle truly
my war paint is ready on my skin
I close my eyes with ease
Now catch a breathe in my sleep
deep breathes
nightmares haunt me but I'm a warrior
nightmares turn to dreams making the mind lighter
My mind is so out control with emotion that I feel unbalanced
I grew claws like were beast
the beast inside us all
slash go the claws at the monster inside me
holding onto my emotions to make them so unbalanced
I can hope these monsters has fled the scene for the beast inside of me is free
to protect me and my mind
my battle shows my scars
as this been happening for many years
but finally I'm free to be me
and more importantly
Love self
Love me
be at balance
and to harness the emotions so the tears don't burn the skin so harshly
I lacked in supports in the past
I was but a wall flower
but now I have the supports I need to conquer all
nothing will get me down
not even myself
I'm for once happy for my victory
Victory and Peace
only to have my mind wander
into the nights sky
the universe is near the mind
for it can expand
I hate my mind at times
I tend to lose my mind at most times
as my doctor makes rash choices
he doesn't understand that I fear the darkness the most
emptiness lingers there shadows of the mind
I open my eyes for the tears are swelled up
dripping down my face
my glasses are fogged up
and I can barely see
my body, you think I would hate myself so
for the scars
I have hurt myself so much
that was the old me
I know how to overcome the emptiness
even if I'm lost within the midst of my mind
I'm still free
I'm beautiful
I smile
Its a kindness
Go to the mirror everyday and smile
say to your self I love you
I'm worth it
because if I'm worth it
so is anyone else who suffers from mental health issues
I want to be Solid like a Rock in the Ocean of Stars
The current can sweep you up
as every emotion run through your veins
I feel so different today
after all
new cocktail of meds
I can't cry anymore
I am trying
I want to give up
But
I wont
because I'm stronger than that
I was victim
then a survivor
now truly a warrior
So Warrior
With you battle scars
grab you war paint
prepare your self
for the emptiness
the flood
of emotions
I shudder as goosebumps cover me head to toe
Now I must conquer my emotions
that is my struggle truly
my war paint is ready on my skin
I close my eyes with ease
Now catch a breathe in my sleep
deep breathes
nightmares haunt me but I'm a warrior
nightmares turn to dreams making the mind lighter
My mind is so out control with emotion that I feel unbalanced
I grew claws like were beast
the beast inside us all
slash go the claws at the monster inside me
holding onto my emotions to make them so unbalanced
I can hope these monsters has fled the scene for the beast inside of me is free
to protect me and my mind
my battle shows my scars
as this been happening for many years
but finally I'm free to be me
and more importantly
Love self
Love me
be at balance
and to harness the emotions so the tears don't burn the skin so harshly
I lacked in supports in the past
I was but a wall flower
but now I have the supports I need to conquer all
nothing will get me down
not even myself
I'm for once happy for my victory
Victory and Peace
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Shout and let it Out
Dedicated to my friend bunto
I hear the call
from the mountains
oh will hear the call with
as youth to elders shout on the top of their lungs
shout shout let it all out
we are heroes with no doubts
Firstly we must climb
one step at a time
over come the terror
over come the hate
homophobia
such hate
its taught just like racism
we live in the new age yet we still face such a terrifying way
we must harness ourselves
together
never to be alone
even when we are in the dark
we are never without light in the night
Terror is near but we have
Love Guts Bearable Thoughts
ready to be there onto of the mountain to be shouted
to let it all out
on mount Everest
i don't care its it said to be impossible
nothing is for us
for we have
A rainbow tethered to us guiding our moves
So shout let it all out
i repeat shout
let it all out
your hate let it out
you must before you reach the top for hate will corrupt you
Hate will harm you
cur your heart open leaving nothing but emptiness
but we have hope
Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple
that is our hope
So climb that mountain
that's it
almost to the top
one more step
Mount that flag of hope
and Shout at the top your lungs
I AM FREE FROM HOMOPHOBIA
HATERS CANNOT REACH ME
FOR I AM NEVER ALONE
Remember this
Shout the best way you can
climb your mountain
and let it all out
You are never alone
I hear the call
from the mountains
oh will hear the call with
as youth to elders shout on the top of their lungs
shout shout let it all out
we are heroes with no doubts
Firstly we must climb
one step at a time
over come the terror
over come the hate
homophobia
such hate
its taught just like racism
we live in the new age yet we still face such a terrifying way
we must harness ourselves
together
never to be alone
even when we are in the dark
we are never without light in the night
Terror is near but we have
Love Guts Bearable Thoughts
ready to be there onto of the mountain to be shouted
to let it all out
on mount Everest
i don't care its it said to be impossible
nothing is for us
for we have
A rainbow tethered to us guiding our moves
So shout let it all out
i repeat shout
let it all out
your hate let it out
you must before you reach the top for hate will corrupt you
Hate will harm you
cur your heart open leaving nothing but emptiness
but we have hope
Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple
that is our hope
So climb that mountain
that's it
almost to the top
one more step
Mount that flag of hope
and Shout at the top your lungs
I AM FREE FROM HOMOPHOBIA
HATERS CANNOT REACH ME
FOR I AM NEVER ALONE
Remember this
Shout the best way you can
climb your mountain
and let it all out
You are never alone
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Self love
this poem is dedicated to camp Fyrefly thank you for the last decade
Love
Self Love
I love myself
Many disagree with me
because they judge me ever so dearly
by what i wear or who i am
who I'm with or scars is the biggest issue of mine
Some people look at me and shake their heads with shame
To write love on her arms
i wasn't so lucky
love hadn't grasped me then
my mind was twisted
dare i say loser...
NO!!
there be a beating heart of flesh inside that Fyre
some know what i mean
others are left with questions
i was a small wall flower i felt inside that no one would notice what greatness i had
but that Fyre erupted so many years ago truly
A decade has past since i first stepped up for myself
I went from being a wall fly to Fyrefly
full of light and bright with light and hope for tomorrow that it truly gets better
Tears of joy my friends
as las i ponder and wounder on and on about youth that is behind me that young little wall flies such as i was just waiting for hope, spirit, youth. friendship, love with spark that
Write love on your arm
I know i will forever have Fyre in my heart to pass onward to young lings
to write love on my arm the left one where the Fyre is in the heart spirit and mind
Speak out loud
I had troubles with that
I can have speeches ready in minutes in spoken word too my poetry is rebuttal to the haters any day
So take your hate you homophobes
be a slave to your small minds that cant expand
think outside the box
things are much vibrant out here
the world isn't so black and white
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
line me up with those colours on heart beating away
thump thump goes the beats
Speak up little ones
have a voice
Spark that Fyre
let it fly
Fly across the sky
Rainbow of hope
To love myself without words on my skin
To have Hope Faith Spirit Youth Life
and most important Love
Love
Self Love
I love myself
Many disagree with me
because they judge me ever so dearly
by what i wear or who i am
who I'm with or scars is the biggest issue of mine
Some people look at me and shake their heads with shame
To write love on her arms
i wasn't so lucky
love hadn't grasped me then
my mind was twisted
dare i say loser...
NO!!
there be a beating heart of flesh inside that Fyre
some know what i mean
others are left with questions
i was a small wall flower i felt inside that no one would notice what greatness i had
but that Fyre erupted so many years ago truly
A decade has past since i first stepped up for myself
I went from being a wall fly to Fyrefly
full of light and bright with light and hope for tomorrow that it truly gets better
Tears of joy my friends
as las i ponder and wounder on and on about youth that is behind me that young little wall flies such as i was just waiting for hope, spirit, youth. friendship, love with spark that
Write love on your arm
I know i will forever have Fyre in my heart to pass onward to young lings
to write love on my arm the left one where the Fyre is in the heart spirit and mind
Speak out loud
I had troubles with that
I can have speeches ready in minutes in spoken word too my poetry is rebuttal to the haters any day
So take your hate you homophobes
be a slave to your small minds that cant expand
think outside the box
things are much vibrant out here
the world isn't so black and white
Red
Orange
Yellow
Green
Blue
Purple
line me up with those colours on heart beating away
thump thump goes the beats
Speak up little ones
have a voice
Spark that Fyre
let it fly
Fly across the sky
Rainbow of hope
To love myself without words on my skin
To have Hope Faith Spirit Youth Life
and most important Love
Monday, February 9, 2015
Ha HA ha
he he ho he he ho
laughter is joyus oh joyus indeed
it comes from the heart
though some mistake indeed
actually some may disagree that from the brain it comes
thoughts are molded
and then the grin is formed
soon after laughter happens
he he he he
ha ha ha ha
sniffle sniffle
tears of joy come laughter as well
But what is the cause
I guess we will never know
its in the bones that we humans have
some animals can laugh but none but the greatest animal the human can justify the true snicker
the true laughter
their are diffirent kinds indeed
evil laughter such as
mawhahahahahaha
or little innoccent kiddie laughter
he he he he
or good ole laughter of anykind will do
oh ho ha ho ha ha ha ha
so my friend will you laugh with me around the world in the times ahead so we have a grand ole time
and keep our heart light
kindered spirits we are my friends
laugh onward indeed
laughter is joyus oh joyus indeed
it comes from the heart
though some mistake indeed
actually some may disagree that from the brain it comes
thoughts are molded
and then the grin is formed
soon after laughter happens
he he he he
ha ha ha ha
sniffle sniffle
tears of joy come laughter as well
But what is the cause
I guess we will never know
its in the bones that we humans have
some animals can laugh but none but the greatest animal the human can justify the true snicker
the true laughter
their are diffirent kinds indeed
evil laughter such as
mawhahahahahaha
or little innoccent kiddie laughter
he he he he
or good ole laughter of anykind will do
oh ho ha ho ha ha ha ha
so my friend will you laugh with me around the world in the times ahead so we have a grand ole time
and keep our heart light
kindered spirits we are my friends
laugh onward indeed
Payback
is this payback for what i did
But i was unstable
and what he did to me
he tortured my mind with love and then bashed me in and said lies to me
so i ended it with him
but i always found myself going back to comfort of his arms his voice his artificial love
oh Ismail will you forgive me for what i did to you
Please move on
this curse you have put upon me is so hurtful
I find myself wallowing in the darkness as tears flood around me
She said she wasn't ready for a relationship or dating
but reality it was me
she just didn't want to have one with me
because i found her again where was so lucky to contact her before
Fuck her
I don't her love
And she cant have my love
Love its important to share with your companions
I love myself and my family and friends
But i wanted a lover a girlfriend a wife a soul mate
i guess that was to hard to ask for
so back to chopping block
tears overpowered by hate
I hate myself at times i think
its myself and me and i
that is the problem
my demons inside
what more can i do
I take my cocktail of meds
to balance me out
to numb some emotions that over bearable
I go to see councillors
I take about my issues that bother me
so i don't go back to the old ways
at least I'm not alone
the jokes on you moon child
there are billions of star children to keep each other company
cant kick me down
I will always remember your light moon child as i basked in it often
perhaps ill find another moon child....
only time will tell
But i was unstable
and what he did to me
he tortured my mind with love and then bashed me in and said lies to me
so i ended it with him
but i always found myself going back to comfort of his arms his voice his artificial love
oh Ismail will you forgive me for what i did to you
Please move on
this curse you have put upon me is so hurtful
I find myself wallowing in the darkness as tears flood around me
She said she wasn't ready for a relationship or dating
but reality it was me
she just didn't want to have one with me
because i found her again where was so lucky to contact her before
Fuck her
I don't her love
And she cant have my love
Love its important to share with your companions
I love myself and my family and friends
But i wanted a lover a girlfriend a wife a soul mate
i guess that was to hard to ask for
so back to chopping block
tears overpowered by hate
I hate myself at times i think
its myself and me and i
that is the problem
my demons inside
what more can i do
I take my cocktail of meds
to balance me out
to numb some emotions that over bearable
I go to see councillors
I take about my issues that bother me
so i don't go back to the old ways
at least I'm not alone
the jokes on you moon child
there are billions of star children to keep each other company
cant kick me down
I will always remember your light moon child as i basked in it often
perhaps ill find another moon child....
only time will tell
Sunday, February 8, 2015
No Hate
I am brought to tears that i seen on this vast nation of the web
I thought we are past all this hate towards us
Boy was I wrong
Sure we lesbians don't get as much hate as others
Men ooo that's sexy I'd bang them both
Hate to break it to you
They are lesbians
Look it up
They only like women
Want someone to Fuck
Go to a bar pick up the many straight women out there
Don't waste your time on us
Fuck Hate of all kinds but mostly Homophobia
its the new age is it not
Why are we still dwelling on such petty hate such as homophobia
Why must their be tears from PFLAG for loses of their children
As chumbwamba said Homophobia is the worse disease cant love anyone in times like these
Why not
I hate when your talking to uneducated person when they take about homosexual agenda
What agenda we just want acceptance
And rights the same you
Was it the black agenda when Black Americans stood up for their rights and marched
But even now in the Americas known to be first world
Black Americans face racism
Really seriously
Why must their be so much hate towards what is different
We are all the same inside
So why so much hate
Fuck hate
Mother nature made me this way
She made you the way you are
Be you straight gay lesbian bisexual pansexual transsexual queer asexual
I address you haters I dare to bring you hate to me and my poetry
Everything you through at me
Will be rebuttal back to you
Nothing will get me down
I have family
And community
I see the straight agenda
You want to cause division within us so we hate each other
Its not going to work
Because Love conquers all
I love myself
I even love the haters
I feel pity for their tiny small minds
can you not expand and look past it
its just Love that we have
We would love to share it with you
under the rainbow of Hope
So will you now dance with me
Dance across the field of joy
away from hate
March on courageous ones
Show your pride
We need to do so
in this world until everyone is free to Love
So i leave you with this
Expand your mind
Love your family
Love a stranger
because you don't know
what is really needed
So when cast judgement stop think process
And refer to Homophobia and reflect
I leave you with this
Peace
I thought we are past all this hate towards us
Boy was I wrong
Sure we lesbians don't get as much hate as others
Men ooo that's sexy I'd bang them both
Hate to break it to you
They are lesbians
Look it up
They only like women
Want someone to Fuck
Go to a bar pick up the many straight women out there
Don't waste your time on us
Fuck Hate of all kinds but mostly Homophobia
its the new age is it not
Why are we still dwelling on such petty hate such as homophobia
Why must their be tears from PFLAG for loses of their children
As chumbwamba said Homophobia is the worse disease cant love anyone in times like these
Why not
I hate when your talking to uneducated person when they take about homosexual agenda
What agenda we just want acceptance
And rights the same you
Was it the black agenda when Black Americans stood up for their rights and marched
But even now in the Americas known to be first world
Black Americans face racism
Really seriously
Why must their be so much hate towards what is different
We are all the same inside
So why so much hate
Fuck hate
Mother nature made me this way
She made you the way you are
Be you straight gay lesbian bisexual pansexual transsexual queer asexual
I address you haters I dare to bring you hate to me and my poetry
Everything you through at me
Will be rebuttal back to you
Nothing will get me down
I have family
And community
I see the straight agenda
You want to cause division within us so we hate each other
Its not going to work
Because Love conquers all
I love myself
I even love the haters
I feel pity for their tiny small minds
can you not expand and look past it
its just Love that we have
We would love to share it with you
under the rainbow of Hope
So will you now dance with me
Dance across the field of joy
away from hate
March on courageous ones
Show your pride
We need to do so
in this world until everyone is free to Love
So i leave you with this
Expand your mind
Love your family
Love a stranger
because you don't know
what is really needed
So when cast judgement stop think process
And refer to Homophobia and reflect
I leave you with this
Peace
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