Devastated is the heart

As it piles and piles

Conceptions of uncertainty

Devastated is the heart

At the emotions that flow ever so

For them to rip and tear

Devastated is the heart

For humanity does not care

Not a care in this world

Upon this Day

Perhaps my heart shall be in the light

For the truth will always prevail over the dismay

The heart is light

So perhaps this is right

Devastated at times

Honorary gold star

Honor student on the badge

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Tarnished as I seem to be

But with this light in my heart

Perhaps I will turn the tide

Hoping, wanting, and needing

Bow down to the Lord indeed it for he will soothe your heart

As devastated it will be

For God to soothe your heart

Finally free from the disaster

Reaping in the Bliss

And I hope I will not dismiss

Because I surely will miss

This hope

Midnight Ponder

What is right?

Perhaps this might be the guide

I feel a pull inside of me

Unable to comprehend if it's right

Instead the uncertainty sets

Causing doubts within eman

Wanting nothing more but to understand

Having confusion to the max

Unable to comprehend hope

Darkness is here and near

It's slumbers upon humanity

But God said Be and here we are being

I'll be walking the deen in this Dunya

This corrupt world

Darkness within the heart

Corruption within the soul

Is this right?

Perhaps this is what light truly is

What would light be if there was no darkness to counter?

I've fallen to the ground

Was this fall meant to be?

Confusion to the max

Fear of what is different

But is this right?

My soul yearns for what is right

Even in the muck of confusion

I can see what the truth is

Even in the darkness

There shall be the light knocking

Screaming to let in

For the heart has hardened

For all the self-hate

Within myself

So

Am I right to accept the light?

When darkness corrupts my soul

Here I am pondering upon insanity

Is this truly meant for me?

Walking destruction

Chaos as I go

Calculated chaos

I'm able to comprehend this

But I cannot comprehend what the light is

For my soul is tarnished

Broken Beyond Bend

Shattered Beyond limit

And I scream and I scream so silently

Why must I be this way?

In the everlasting fight

Up down all around insanity is here

For the motions are going

Over and over again

Will this be different this time?

Perhaps time will tell

Before it's too late

And I end it all

Where is this hope?

Where to find?

Twisted

Corrupt

Blissful

Loving

Rager

Empathy

So many statements

Labels ever so

I am but me

Within this insanity

I find that there is only one worthy of worship

That is Allah the almighty the most beneficial the most merciful

So seek him always

Always

For darkness shall always be overcome by the light

For Allah is that noor

So perhaps I should follow the way

Being pulled from every direction

Here I am pondering upon my soul

Midnight fun here we go

hope on happiness

Falling into the darkness

Standing at the wall of solitude

To Bear witness

That insanity is what deems me to be

Is this my jihad?

A true struggle

Needing something more

Running on the railroad

Wanting it all to end

To slip on sanity

To know what comes with doom

To reckon what is right

Perhaps it is in this light

But darkness fades into thy heart

Here I am wrecking my mind

Broken, tarnished and wrecked

Shall I dismiss the abyss

Does this mean that I'm lost indeed

Do I know what this means

I scream and scream

Reckoning with the Almighty

What is meant for me them and I

Are those whispers so deeply real?

Upon this time

Upon the light

Upon hope

To find Hope

To grasp it within all

Infinity everlasting love

Sought by all

Destruction is here

Shall it be pure

The pain, the tarnish and the doom

What will become of me?

Within what is deemed

Chaotic of the heart

A blade to the skin

Repeating one on one

What does this mean to be

Broken Beyond perhaps I can redeem

For sanity is needed

To acquire this hope

To keep your grasp

Shall I seek thy Lord

For him to conquer the darkness within my heart

Seeking refuge with Allah from the acursed Satan

Let this happiness be

Afraid not of what is come to be

Can I be free to want happiness

For maybe the illusion of the heart

For this is my delusion

That happiness is attainable

For the delusion is of the mind madness conquers all

Breaking my soul open to the Lord

To save me from myself

To let me accept

What the true light is

One can only hope

Bicker

What am I?

Am I defeated?

Broken beyond the bend

Seeking solitude of the heart

For the emotions are overbearing

As they sway in and out of the heart

Devastating every motion

Defeated?

Perhaps not

For the light inside is knocking

Knocking on the darkness

Breaking its way through

For light will prevail

For it seeks the solitude to save you

Defeated I think not

Striving onwards always

When broken beyond the bend 

I am but rebuilding

Seeking the Noor

Treading through the darkness

Never giving in

Struggling to prevail

But what is life without jihad

Striving onwards towards the light

Away from the darkness

Away from the Snickers

To find true solitude but within the light

Unity with heart and soul

Reckoning that this is right for me

Yet bicker on and on if devastation shall be

In this everlasting cycle of Chaos

For insanity is here, near, and dear

Part of me

So let it be even within this insanity

Life of deeds

Strive on words

Finally let it be

Running 4 hope

Running on the stairway

Not knowing where to go

Head for the stairs to the bottom

For the darkness heeds the heart

It shifts and turns, the blade sways unto every being

To find emptiness, broken

Am I disappearing?

What will become of me

Looking towards the Noor

Up the stairs

Running for bliss

I breathing clearly

As high as I come

The Lord calls me

My soul draws near

Almost to the top

Striving, determined, and wanting something more

We are but slaves to Allah

Seek to please him

What is this noor

Everlasting bliss

That I shall not dismiss

I'm here being

As God says to Be

The Lord I reckon it's light

Meaning for all

Creation deserves to be saved

Saving yourself and then others

Never giving up

Running on the stairway

Knowing finally at the moment what to do

To strive for the Noor

To find serenity

Please bring this Bliss

For you and I

The Heart

My heart is beating within my chest

Going to the rhythm not knowing what to do

Stuck in this chaos

The cycle of insanity

And let us plea with the Lord indeed

To seek refuge in the Almighty

From The whispers of the Satan

In the cycle of Chaos

I strike on daring not to fret

The chaos in the heart

Ripped my soul to flesh

The Ecstasy of the Cloud 9

Stripped of humanity

Burden by destruction

To cut to save a life

To burn to stop to cut

To rip beyond the bend

Rock and roll

Here we are

On the chaos

A cycle for you

Within this chaotic humanity

For thy seek thy Lord

In times of destruction

Shall I seek the peace?

Bringing happiness at every desire

Not leaving happiness to The psychotic mania

Running on the railroad not knowing what to do

Perhaps happiness is not attainable

For the cycle of chaos has everlasting

To rip, cut, and burn

What will come next indeed

Will it be insanity

Or will it be a test for me

Seeking serenity

Wanting peace

Truly finding this

With the faith of the heart

Lose not hope

But lose the destruction of the heart

Let me breathe deeply

For the insanity that breeds within my heart indeed

I'm saved for myself from God almighty

For he is the one that will save you from the insanity

So please plea with the Lord 

For me save your soul one way or another

Remember keep the peace within the heart

And the insanity at bay

Don't forget to plea

Even within this insanity

Where to go from here?

Devastated by the darkness

Unable to comprehend what we call Hope

Is life worthwhile?

To stand tall

Not letting the world break you down

Wanting nothing more, but to strive on

Where to find the song

The harmony of the heart that beats

Bringing it to a rhythm

As the shadow moves in and out of the heart

I reckon the Noor is ready to emerge

Broken but Not Bent

Bend the way you want

Devastated me

Within this confusion that is deemed for me

To take the knife

So delicately 

Swaying in and out 

Crimson Bliss flows

I want nothing but destruction of my heart

I want nothing but peace

Will the devastation be

Destined for me

Within this insanity

Whimpering for the Almighty

Nothing but serenity

That be found with what the one and only

Allah

See not I, the illusional state

To think what is next

But to follow the way

To the Noor

So the darkness doesn't comprehend

How to over come darkness?

The everlasting insanity

Reckon I am in the right

Free to seek thy Lord

Wanting nothing

But bliss 

Dusting off the shelves

Exposing the way

Where to go next

From the mighty years of experience

From the good and bad of life

To strive on always

Even in the pit of the Abyss

When darkness runs through your veins

Devastated by the emotion

Free to choose

Free to be

Within what we seem to be destiny

For choices are what we need

To make the choice to strive on and wanting more

No more wallowing within the abyss

I shall dismiss the negative emotions

To be fulfilled with contentment no even within the darkness that seems to be always

Sometimes we fall to the ground

Broken Beyond Bend

Time to start again

1 2 3 here we go

Strive on right there

Work hard always

Conquer your desires

Move within Good deeds

Shall you seek what is Right indeed

A royal degree

Children of Destiny

The shelves are ready, the books are aligned

Standing back looking at yourself 

At your knowledge that is attained

Standing tall

Wanting more

Fighting the darkness

Breaking the bend

Having sanity

I will always strive

Even in the divided times

Blessed be this Life indeed

Puffin on Cloud 9

Staring down the path

Where to go from here

At a crossroad way to a railroad

Where to ever go

Up up to Cloud 9

Smoked up get high

Fall into the chaos of the doom

With not knowing what to do

You inhale the Bliss and exhale the bad inhale the Bliss 

Up to Cloud 9 where but to the stairway to heaven

Ready to Blade

Touching the skin

Slice through like a knife to some butter

Legend of crimson darkness come out of your name

Unable to comprehend

Not knowing what to do

Seeking the high for the escape

Is this meant to be

In this world of insanity

So do I plead and plead and plead with the Lord indeed

To save me from myself for he is the only one that is saviour

To fall to the ground in the surrendering myself

To the wide opening world do I worship the Lord

Where to find myself stuck in the abyss

Will I be able to dismiss?

On the town on the phone what to do

Reaching out looking for some hope

Unfortunately everyone's tired of the despair

But life doesn't get better you just get a better understanding

For the library of time is 

What you experience in this world

Up the Cloud 9 not knowing what to do

Thinking on putting this world maybe that'll do

Am I a bad person because I hate myself

Am I a bad person because I'm horrible to myself

I'm crazy in my mind

Can't comprehend hope

So I escaped with the dragon puff puff go

Inhale exhale ready let's go

Here comes the hope of artificial happiness

What to find in this insane world indeed

Perhaps some Harmony is found with deeds

Remember the smallest of deeds are the best don't ever mind others of them

Be the rest of the world do not care

We do not live for humanity

But for God you see

For he created us and the universe indeed

Who are we to argue with him?

1 2 3 not knowing what to do

Stuck on Insanity happiness too

The artificial happiness is an illusion

Stuck within the delusion of the world

When will this pain and not knowing what to do

Perhaps my time will come sooner maybe too

The Rise

As the sun touches the surface

We begin to rise

As the bird song calls us

Wanting nothing but to slumber more

Only to have something so lovely within your heart

Come indeed for it is time to pray 

The dawn is here to start the day

The birds sing with the morning dew

To face thy Lord

Seeking refuge in Allah

And worshiping him Almighty

Has fajr begins to fade in the sun begins to rise

The nafs begin

So today a day

New to come

Experience to the max

Strive on

con 2 the fusion

Getting the bubble is about to burst

Screaming so insanely

Pulled to the edge

Sanding mourning but for this to end

Looking at the edge

Wanting to take a leap

Feeling sunken 

Like an old ship

Young but old

Will I wake ever

From this illusion

It's this reality

The shade falls to my heart

Suffocating they light

Darkness shall reign

Creeping emtional damage

Broken beyond the bend

Here I am

Standing tall

For Allah will save me from myself

For Islam is the best of the medication you could take

Allah the most forgiving the most loving

He is the greatest of all

Allahu Akbar

Am I free

Finally from these shackles they lock my light away

I recite so slightly

The confusion

It conquers my mind

But still thy Lord

Always

I am broken aspired to rebuild

From the strength you have given me

Alhamdulillah 

We be free

To choose

Are you ready?

I know I am

To Seek

Searching everlasting searching

Pondering upon time within insanity

What will come from pondering?

Perhaps one would be wallowing in the abyss

Not knowing why

Screaming so silently

Why must I be?

Within this tarnish deeds

I find serenity

To plea with the Lord indeed

For he is the only one worthy of worship

Allah the Almighty

Lost within the darkness

Just a flicker of the Noor

Is enough to conquer

For light will always overcome the shade

To be in Redemption from being tarnished

Are you ready for me?

Where to go?

Nowhere

Simply be

With sabr that brings hope

So I still scream

But what Joy indeed

Even within this insanity

I simply am being

For Allah said be

So here I am being within the insanity

Practicing sabr an acquiring ilm

Beating within my every being

Allowing the emotions to not overcome me

To bring happiness indeed

That is what is needed

Where to find you say

Look to the Lord

For he is Almighty All Merciful

So let it be let it be

Destined to be within the insanity

Hoping for peace

Suffering Hope

What is life?

To suffer beyond recognition

Burdened by aniexty

Devastated hurt

Wham bang boom

As the wave hits me

Every emotions flow through

My being

Is but insanity

Happiness is but an illusion

For it over here to be happy

It means Chaos is ready

To surface

The mania ready to light the freeway

Running on milliseconds

It burns, buring emotions

Unable to comprehend

What is hope?

To acquire what you want

You want money

You want love

Then one must work

Maniac on the bend

Edge walker

Am I ready to jump?

Hop scotch

On the way

Leaping over the hurdles

Of the destiny

Coming to an end

The chaos begins to settle

Am I free?

Well this end?

The cycle of chaos

Infinite loop of insanity

Falling to my knees

Begging Allah indeed

Well he save me?

From the destruction of my heart

One can only hope

To much

Up and down and all around

Hip hop hippity hoppity hop

How Grand it seems

Running around

Unable to grasp for what reality is

Dizzy beyond the bend

Hear the trumpets roar

Blasting the sound so soundly

Confusion to the max

Unable to comprehend what you know is

Unable to do anything but be

Not knowing what reality is

Surely this is not the delusion

Within this life that seems like an illusion

Falling to my knees not knowing what to do

Come to a fork in the road which way to go indeed

I reckon it's right for me

Perhaps it's left indeed

I split with no conclusion

And this is truly a delusion

Perhaps now but that's then perhaps the insanity will come then

Tick tock on the clock

Conclusion will this ever end

Hop hop hippity hop hop

Where do you want to go?

Will this Insanity ever end

I just want to know what reality is

Is that too much to ask for