I am

I am me

Full fledged insaniac maniac

Up and down all around

My head is full of confusion

Uncertain of who I am

Am I still me?

Unable to cope with that one cannot comprehend

Hoping for uncertainty

Wanting the past to repeat

Wanting something to destroy

Other than myself

Insaniac to the mania

1 2 3 4

Start again and have some more

Upon a time to tell

What we need to do

To carry one another

Helping each other

To face the world

Showing that you are here

Full-fledged maniac

Full of bliss

Unable to cope

Ready the flame

Take the blade

Ready The noose

Are these right to do?

To seek refuge in your lord

For The whispers have penetrated you

Wanting something more

Needing, wanting so much more

That light keeps on knocking

To come to your heart

To conquer the darkness

To bring the noor

I am me

Full of anxiety

Will the worry take me?

Secret with the Lord

He hears you

Allah knows your heart

Even when your burden so

So have faith

Keep the light

I am me

Full of anxiety

Full fledge insomniac

A breath of fresh air

Bringing the hope

To conquer the nafs

That is what we need

To strive to do good

To redeem myself

I am me, a breath of fresh air

Following the Dragon

Living for the desire

Dying for the high

Unable to cope

Why must this matter?

Am I able to apply logic

Upon this time to come

Wondering what will be

Will I fail at this once again?

Here I am standing

Tall as I can be

Full-fledged maniac

Wonderful

Beautiful

Faulted

Damaged

I am but me

Stuck in this insanity

As it rips me into pieces

Humpty Dumpty on the wall

Truly had a great fall

All the King's Men couldn't put Humpty back together again

As one can relate to this

Shattered Beyond repair

Shall I follow the Dragon

Pulling in the smoke

Suffocating to the max

Declining in health

Truly because I want

The darkness to dismiss

I want the light to reside

Through thick and thin

The fog is set

Here I am wondering within the mist

Will I find myself successful?

I want to stop but I can't find the logic

Does this mean that insanity is here

Unable to cope, unable to breathe

This surely is insanity

Where to go from here?

To Hope for success

That is the future that's not a mess

dawn that calls

Holding on to something

Wanting something more

Awake within the midnight

Pondering upon this time

Do I follow my heart?

Holding on to sanity

My mind spins

Vision of the koliscope

Shifting to something new

Wanting to understand

Unhappy maybe happiness is near

I try over again

I am free, so strong

Will the fate be!

Promise to swear to the Lord

I am here being

Everything within destiny

I stand tall

To fall try the ground

To worship to need what Allah deems

What we need

Will heal me

Bring peace to heart

Waiting for Destiny

Patience

1 2 3

4 5

Start again

Dawn calls me

To see

What I need

A spoonful of Bliss

 Golden with brilliance

Sweetness with courage

Apples of heaven

Cinnamon and sugar of the heart

For the passion of sweetness

In the dreams to come

Upon the spoonful

A blissful moment

As the glistens of the fruit touch the tongue

Lingers the saliva from the taste

Destined is this a piece for you and I

Apples so glorious

Apple some more

Crisp to the Bliss

A heaven sent

This piece I give to you is my heart

Forever peace will be more

where do I stand

Slumber slumber into the night we go

Ecstasy for the high

Pulling myself down

Depression to the max

Solitude for the mode

Unable to comprehend why

Unable to cope

Wanting something more

Here wanting finding

The journey goes on

Two stars collide causing a climax

As the ripples within the water rumble

To hear the roar

Of the chaos of the heart

Wanting something more

The darkness sweeps in

Swallowing the light

I can hardly breathe

Suffocation attire

Will I have freedom?

The torments of my mind

Burden my heart so

I take the flame

To cover the flesh

Corrupt to the heart

Here I am a disaster

Coming from all directions

The darkness sweeps in

Unable to cope

This night is a torment

Has the water drops down

Heaps of tears roll down

Why must I be this way?

Can I not find peace

Something to conquer

All The nasty desires

Unable to comprehend

Here I am wondering the night sky

The Ecstasy of the night

Shall I truly breathe my final breaths?

I truly want to slumber into the eternal night

To be ripped two

For the light is here

Do I fall, do I climb?

Climbing the stairs

The hardship of the desire

Holding on to hope

The disaster is near

The light it shines so brightly

That darkness begins to dim

As the sheets of light consume me

Am I free?

Free to be me, full fledged schizoaffectic maniac freak

Let me scream, shout out

Can I be free of the desires?

Follow the light they say

Keep the light close

My heart yearns for more

The everlasting slumber calls me

I fight with all my heart

Not to give in to the darkness

To seek the light always

Even when the darkness wants to consume

The light shall come knocking

To tear down any doors

That lead to destruction

So come with me

Let's fall to our knees

Doing dua

Asking for the supplications

Hoping for something more

Finding peace of mind

Will peace be free?

Or is peace unlimited

I shall stand tall against the darkness

Bringing in the light

Breathing in deep breaths

Hoping for something more

Acquiring hope, acquiring the light

This is peace

Hopefully it will last

Uncertain of what to do next

Please let me conquer what is to come

Standing tall

Breathing in peace

Allowing the light to consume

Finding solitude

Finding peace

That is what truth is

something more

Once upon a star 

I call to you

Will you feel my emotions?

Will the end come?

Keeping my mind on the hope

Something more something needed

The light consumes me

Everlasting bliss

Will this last?

I ponder too truly wander

Today I breathe

Tomorrow I suffocate

Falling star

Wishing for the dream to come true

Happiness is what I want

Walking the distance

Hoping for sanity

Wondering what will come tomorrow

Arise to a new day

With different emotions do they sway

Once upon a Time

According to the star that shines

Happiness is but an illusion

Delusion of what is to be

I follow the light

To bring my soul to the clear path

Shall I slumber?

A sleepless night to come

Upon the stars that shine

Upon the time that be

Hoping for happiness

Getting the results

Up and not down

All together now

Emotion here and there

Everywhere

To follow the path

To the fork in the road

The right or to the left

I follow the way

I follow the light

What path that takes me to

Will it bring happiness?

I call upon the stars that be

Will you save me from my insanity?

I finally breathe

Followed by a smile

To bring hope

To bring happiness

Never separating

Shall I bend down to pray?

Upon this time I shall be

Thanking the stars that be

To save me from my insanity

Let me pray

To the one and only

Where hope is found

Where happiness resides

Upon the time to tell

As time goes on

I shall pray

Forever lasting light

Forever and ever more

uncertain destiny

Walking down the path

Waltzing to Destiny

Can I feel my way through?

Stop drop emotion

Where to go from here?

Running on a railroad

Wanting everything to end

Stuck in the cycle

Chaos of the heart

Uncertainty is here

To bring it near

Upon this time to tell

1 2 3

Four five six

Running on the railroad

Coming to an end

Shall I die?

Does this define time

Wasted as it be

Uncertainty takes me

Will I finally breathe

Will I finally need

Ready set Go

It's time to let the river go

To run down the stream

Truly I shall scream

What is happening to me?

Fallen but not graced

Unable to comprehend

The cycle goes on

The chaos of the heart

Let me need, levitate me

Shall I truly be free

Speak to me, guide me

Down the path I go

Uncertain to the max

Down the path I go

Wondering what will come of this

As the flame wanders on

Scorching what the darkness wants

I follow the path

Uncertain as it may be

Uncertain as I need to be

Well I truly need serenity

To follow the path

Finding certainty on serenity

Let me breathe those lovely breathes 

Shall I be truly free

Does this define me?

Finally just breathe, be free

Fade

The mood of the room

Feels despair, where to go

Upon this time to tell

Once upon the twine

Shall I mend to feel

All these emotions

Running through me

Like a sheet of icicle

Ripping, ramming what is this destiny

With me, am I free

Am I suppose to dream?

Will I consider the emotions

Shall I surrender?

To the will, of who

Intertwined with my will

My Lord comforts me

It's the race mirage at bay

Where you go, but to the light

Don't dread of the najs deeds

For I redeem myself

Am I supposed to be able to conquer all?

I'm falling down to the ground

Pledging my loyalty

That there is one

Only one

That is Allah

For he shall save me

These emotions that run at me

To keep them at bay

With but a plea, a dua

To breathe finally

To be free, to want something more

Following the Noor

Hopscotch to the Bay

For the light shall surround darkness

Leaving life full of uncertainty

Of the times that be

Have some hope

For tomorrow shall never fade

being of Destiny

Running on the railroad

Not knowing what to end

Follow the Dragon to never never Land

Climb the ladder, define Cloud 9

Wanting nothing more but for serenity

The internal chaos that seems

What but an Infinity

As it shines brightly

Forming one another

Glimmering light it seems

Switching the vision to be

Pattern here and there

Light that reflects all

Pattern near truly not so dear

Dread to the max

Unable to cope

What you do from here?

Screaming in my head

What to do from here?

Pleaing with the Lord 

The needy that I be

Stuck in the chaos

The circle that goes on

To ponder upon Time

To point logic at this source

Am I here?

Do I matter?

Will I ever have serenity?

To keep on striving

To fight the good old fight

In the everlasting war

Destined to be, solely but purely unique

I am destined to be, stuck in this insanity

Shall I be content with this?

One can only hope, that something comes from the disaster

Has the pieces seem to fall in place

After all the harm has been done

One hopes

One needs

I truly desire, something that makes my mind clearly

So I seek the truth 

Always in my heart

What is but peace

Bringing serenity

What I truly need

So let's have destiny

For God said be, and that's all I can do but be

Full-fledged maniac

Supercalifragilisticex schizophrenic

A breath of fresh air

Sweeping in the darkness blowing out the light

Surely this is his might?

To seek refuge always

Life may be what it seems

Lose not hope

That is needed

Be free to choose to be content

Thanks to God we are here

Even within the schizophrenia

I am but being within this destiny

Destined Bullets

Blissful is the day, to be taken down by the nafs

Rolling by like bullets on the drive by

Self-inflicted emotional damage

Side by side does it define

Bursting at the brim

Simmering ready boil

Ready not done

Blowing the top

Construction to the heart

The blueprints burnt to a crisp

Holding on to the insanity

Craving for the chaos

Waiting for Destiny

Shall I be free? 

From this insane insanity

Let me breathe

Those deep breaths

To conquer the najs desires

To hold it tight, that light

The Noor to hope

Holding tight is my breath

Fear of the suffocation

Hoping for serenity

To heal the heart

To conquer the anger

To seek the wisdom

To want peace

Everlasting peace

This is what is destined

Dare to Desire

 stop drop mania

on the bend

ready to mend

time to send

upon dismay

shall I pray

upon this plea with insanity

will this be

Let me see

the deeds that be

whatever I need

shall be for me

despair of a desire

To want to overcome

to bring the bend

to the mend

upon a time to tell

will I be free

destined to be free

bliss filled meadows

calling me

sweet melody 

blessed I be

happy, mad, sad, striving

Tears of sadness conquer the happiness

As the rippling goes down as the tears are ever flowing

Dancing in the sky falling to my knees 

Conquered by my insanity

I'm happy then sad and truly mad

The boast of the Hatters

In the party of madness

One moment I'm mad like hatter

Follow the rabbit down the hole

Take me to a fantasy dream

Where sadness is no more

Care for the sake of self

Complete with more than a tad of madness

I'm struggling to keep the light

To follow the Deen

Where happiness leads with eman

Side by side

No no no

To the darkness

You can't win, for the Noor will always be knocking on my soul

Hoping to win, wanting more

Striving for stretch

A leap with Glee

Shall this be what sets me free

Waiting for the bliss

Conquering desires here and there

The everlasting chaos of the desires that be

Finding peace, not an easy quest

I will follow the way

Throughout thick and thin

My hope shall always be with my Lord oh Allah

Everlasting harmony

Strive evermore

There will be peace

Matters

Do I truly matter?

Upon this time to tell

Waking within the darkness

Allowing the surface the flow

Smooth as it goes, rough as it seems

I am burdened beyond the bend

Self inflicted chaos

Bursting with emotions

One pattern to pattern 3 pattern more

Will this insanity ever be free of me?

Wondering within the doom

Willingness to get better

To try to cope, conquering the Nafs

My mind is split

Where to go from here?

Up up up down down down all around over again here we go now

Where to go from here?

To the Infiniti circle of chaos

Ready to be free

Do I truly need?

Help somebody help

My emotions are conquering my soul

Ready to truly need

What is that that I need?

Is serenity, and we find this with the almighty Allah the one I only

For he will never leave me

For he always hears, even the softest of whispers

Finding myself

Well I be free?

Upon this time to tell

I shall strive

Conquer the desires

To overcome they emotion

For nothing will get me down

Never alone

For Allah has always on my side

So be free, even within this insanity

Let it be

That way follow the light

Define the serenity

As Time flows

As the sun rises in the sky

The dust within the soul

Where to go from here?

Once upon Insanity

I am free to be me

Even when I am mean

When I'm mad as a Hatter

Perhaps time will tell

If Serenity can seek my soul

Where will I go from here

But following the light to ever happiness

Let me breathe within

This hell that is put through my soul

Will happiness ever come?

Tick tock on the clock, as time is everlasting the humanity

Will it ever end?

I just wanted to end

But I'm stronger than what I was

Like a brick wall 

Unable to bend nor break

To have some time ponder

Time has come and I'm finally nice to myself

No more rips No More tears

I am fully free

When will I choose to leave the chaos behind?

The infinity circle is here, but time will tell if it's good or bad

So I Fall to my knees and put my head to the ground

I followed the light, and let it be so bright

Everlasting happiness

This is what I seek within this world

Temporary as It seems

With whims and desires

Sadness comes and goes

Teardrops fall from happiness and sadness

And let me breathe

Full of life, I need

Blessed be life full of bliss and insanity

So finally let us breathe

Within the doom we see

Finally will I ever be free?

To allow Serenity to flow inside me

To bring peace to the mind and soul

Follow the way you seek

What is humanity but perfectly imperfect

We are but flawed

But we will not get us down

For we have Allah

So be not afraid to stand in the darkness

Light will always come

That is Hope

To Serenity

Fall to the ground worshiping thy Lord

To grant me something

That's needed inside

The Noor shifting through the darkness

Confusion to the max

Through thick and thin

Allah grant me the courage

To change the things that I can

To never give up

To keep on fighting the good old fight

For what I do not understand  Allahu allim 

Through the path of darkness

Uncertainty carries my soul

Far from myself

I am lost, where to go from here?

May I be granted the wisdom

To keep the faith in God

To know to keep going

On this path of life

Where to truly go

To follow serenity is where I need

For only Allah Grant me that

To truly know, what is that

Haq with the Noor

Following hope, be it near or at a distance

Truly this will be enough

To bring the light to the darkness

Noor shall bring the hope

To conquer all the thoughts

To love, even myself

To bring peace of mind with my heart

Allah grant me serenity

To I can be at peace

Sanely once again

Hoping, Inshallah

Finding something

Dew drops to the grass and leaves in the fields that be

Serenity found

For but a millisecond

Twist turn time to change

Up to Cloud nine does not define

Head in the clouds

Superficial to the max

Confusion on the walking path

Anxiety has its grinds away at my soul

Will time tell?

Upon the sunrise of each day

I arise new ready to be, the chaos burdens my soul

Confusion to the max

Frustration

No answers to come

Paving the way for anxiety to burn

Where to go from here?

Fall to my knees

A dua from my soul

To the All Merciful, All Knowing

The king of kings

Allah the Almighty

I leave my path to you

To decide what will come next

For my fate is sealed

Only for God to know

So let's breathe

Deep breaths

Finding serenity

Inshallah 

Dare to fool

Courage to speak
Despair to bare
Hope to love
Needs to be
Finally truly free
False realities
Delusions near and dear
Forgetfulness to disaster
Disorganized up the bend
For I truly mend
Seeking the truth
Knowing the way
Upon this Day
I shall hope
I shall strive
I will conquer everything
For I matter

Upon this day

Holding on to the truth

Guiding my soul to the noor

To know what it's meant to be this way

Crazy and insanity 

Baffled by the confusion not knowing what to do

Up down all around don't forget the mania

Such a way to be

Holding on to the insanity

Looking up to the sky

Calling to the Lord who is that

Allah the most Merciful, all Mighty

So we must hope for a cause

To carry on, wondering with this world

Seeking the light and truth

Finding something, for the light that calls to you

Go back to the basics

Stand your ground against the darkness

What is this noor meant to be

Oh so many emotions 

Positivity positive, ready to conquer my Nafs

Feeling the flow go up and down

Level but for a millisecond

I shook my heart, for I must be

Going to the Lord repenting your soul

This will give you closer to the light 

For seeking the knowledge

Define truth in what you need

I know what it is and that is one God in this world Allah the Almighty

Here I am worshiping, the best one can do

Is always seek the knowledge with in Deen

Ready to conquer all that comes

For Destiny allows me to be free

Freedom to choose

What's right or wrong?

Hopefully we'll make the right choices

I have my hope in my heart, whispering to my soul

Keeps on knocking to come for the Noor

Keep the peace for we need it

Blessed to be, keep the hope with Allah the Almighty all Merciful

Keep the peace

Having serenity you find this with a truth you seek

limited time

As I swallow my pride

My desires arrive

Full of emptiness

I figured too many

Time to die

Am I a fool that it defines?

Time is but limited to the human eye

Time as the hour class goes shattered

A shame to be

That the insanity

That conquers my heart and make it so hardened

As the emptiness sweeps out

Surrounding my soul

I am here to conquer this desire 

But we be perfectly imperfect

Superficial is society

Judgmental to the heart

Fear is crossing me as the darkness speews in covering the emptiness

But inside the hole that I am that bees

My desire is to not see

For these emotions and desires are controlling my heart

I am strong for I am a rock within a river

The river calls to me

Am I really here?

River of emotions that I bear

Sensitive to the max

Are you offended that I am sensitive?

To go with the flow within the darkness and within the Noor

For we be striving

To better ourselves

To love one another

Just not myself

Do I desire something that's not needed?

The river flows down the waterfall as the tears sink the emotions

Am I strong and my brave even in my Insanity I be who I am

For life is a trial we all have

Hoping for Peace

 The joys of emotions

As the time truly comes

Reckon its right in the darkness

Unable to cope

Will I conquer my nafs?

Upon a dirty deed what will some of me

Shall I bleed?

For the mercy upon my destiny 

Is but within solitude

Wondering within the doom

What come of this?

Shall dismiss, what shall I do?

Follow the noor

Basking in the light of the glorious diety

Seeking something more

Having willingness to be free

God said Be

So here I am wrecked beyond the bend

Seeking something

I am but a being

In this insanity

Of the world

What must come of this?

Dua is needed for only Allah brings them to miracles

Dhkr is needed in this life to keep on remembering

Keeping the heart light, full of noor

To dismiss the darkness

To enter the shadows, and silence the whispers

No more snickering for the destruction

Is done

For I am but a being in this temporary disaster of a worlds

I will truly grasp hope

Hoping for this insanity in my head to end

Will there be peace?

Only with Islam

So let it be, the light that resides in me

To be free

Always

galaxies of emotion

I am broken, I am burnt

Where to go from here

Is the Galaxies shift together

Every emotion comes to me

Within the millisecond it has changed so rapidly

Unable to cope

Unable to puff

Where to go from here

Do I fall to my knees

Calling to Allah

The Lord and Almighty

Am I free?

To be a disaster

Confusing to the max

Forgetfulness

Anger

These are the emotions, most felt

What will relieve me of these symptoms?

The word they say

What is this

Blinded by the insane membrane

I must find a way

Where to go, but to the beginning

Where it all started

Repeat go

Emotions up and down

All around, lock me up

Throw away the key

Do I deserve freedom?

I called to thy God

Hoping for a relief to this mind

Where to go from here?

Up or down

Up up up up to Cloud nine

Does this define

Down down to the ground

Worshiping the one and only

Allah the most merciful and just

He knows all your secrets

He sees the unseen

He knows your heart

So surrender yourself to him

Perhaps you can save yourself

From the desire of disaster

But here an I am

Being in this world of fools

Acquiring knowledge where I go

Well this truly be what destined for me?

Time can only tell, patience is needed

Don't forget to seek the truth

You will find your way

keeping up with clarity

Stained my life with uncertainty

Emotion hidden from the sanity

Keeping up with The darkness

Allowing The emptiness to consume

Finally down but not right dead

Will I conquer this?

 A challenge comes to mind

For the insanity consumes

Suffocation at the max

The desire to chase the high

The desire to consume insanity

Will clarity come to my mind?

Perhaps to follow serenity

Showing you the way

Guiding you to Hope

Hoping for a better day

As we live for today and tomorrow never comes

To set a goal, hoping that you can conquer it so

To live high but flying clean

Perhaps to live clean and desire to be clean

Instead of chasing the dragon

Confusion to the max not knowing what to do

Logic comes decipher it so

It's time to do the challenge

To move forwards to serenity

The move is mine?

Shall I take the step?

Perhaps the challenge needs to be met

Positively Confused

Where to start

To break away from the burden

Shall I be free?

Like a dashing star

Hoping for something more

Finding solitude with this excitement

Running down the stairs 

To not have a care

So what is this within 

What is destined?

Holding on to happiness to be taken

From the uncertainty

For hoping for more

Around to go

Hop stoch on the spot

Waiting for freedom

Hoping for this to stay

What may be?

What we need?

For the solitude, needs to stay at the bay

Let me be free

To chose

Hoping for nothing more, but Peace

Confused to the brink

Hoping for clarity

One must find answers

Be then with the clarity

To bring hope

Hope for today so tomorrow will not fade

Grasping Hope

Feeling the depression

Fully in grasp

Tender my heart, surely to crash

Upon the mood of the disorder

What is this indeed?

As emptiness bows to the darkness

Surely depression is here

Upon the mood

Does the it has to be a kaleidoscope

Moving so rapidly

Upon the deeds to come

Well there right or left

Upon my mind I surely am

Broken beyond the mend

Gathering my emotions

To not tumble 

To carry some courage

Trying to hope

For the darkness is near

As the light consumes

I fall so suddenly

Upon the deeds

Right or wrong

This life is a test 

Trails indeed

What we need, with the deeds

What will be next?

Upon the light to tell the tale

Something bright

Flickering within the night

The flame surely Burns

Upon the time to see

What is destined for me?

Beyond the dirty deed

Soaked beyond the wreckage

The flicker burns on

To follow the darkness, and ignite the light

What am I but a fool destined to burn

Falling for hope

Well this consume?

The emptiness of doom

Time shall surely tend to this

If one can hope for the future

Then perhaps upon the day you'll seek something that's needed

Be that light, be God just something meant for me myself and I 

To the seek the truth

Do not determine to leave the trail

Upon the truth I'm truly wrecked

The light consumes ever so brightly ever so warm

It brings my heart up and high

Perhaps this is time to breathe 

Even within the insanity

calculated rage

There's something that dwells inside

As it rips and turns your heart inside out

Has The echoes of insanity have conquered you

The warmth to the heart 

The fire within the soul

Moving to anger

Hurting oneself

The calculated chaos will never end

Will my wound surely mend

I fear the fire will burn 

Scorch me the whispers are here

Snicker here snicker there will it ever end

The fire has burned me for I'm ever so scarred from the insanity of life

Will the chaos ever end?

It seems that days go by

Your mood is fed up

Where to go from here

The fire rages on

Only for the rage to consume your soul

Wondering what will come of you as you held your fist high

To not Punch walls to not punch people but to only punch oneself

Crying on the mend

Will this ever end?

Upon time to come will tomorrow ever come

And yesteryear I was but full of serenity but this year is insane and the anchor inside has the rage going

Only to collapse from all the complicated things

Unknowing the future to be

Will I be full of insanity?

Will the rage still be here?

So many questions and no answers

Unable to cope

Shall I burn?

Perhaps I shall take the blade

But instead I take the rage in my fist

To my head for the insanity is here

And as each punch hits the temple you wonder

This be the end of all the suffering

You worry if you can mend at all

Chaos is near and dear

Upon Insanity do you hear

The whispers of chaos coming near

Breathe truly breathe

Within this Destiny we shall be

Something but insanity

Will I ever truly be free

Seeking wanting something more

Light and darkness mixes together

Causing nothing but an equal equality

Needing to be full of this insanity

If not, who am I?

I am but a perfectly imperfect being

Full of flaws within this humanity

And one truly needs that hope inside

The great supreme, all knowing, the most merciful

Who is this indeed?

Allahu the great and Almighty 

What has he set for us

But a test

A pain, happiness, and carnage

But what have we done but forsaken ourselves

A twisted turn for humanity

Truly is this what's meant to be

Perhaps because life is not easy for it is a test, and are not easy

Let me Be Happy

Let's have a hope 

Is truly needed for you and I, and humanity

Bickering with self with all the voices inside

One does not know what to do

So seek refuge in the heart

Sincerity is the key

Life is full of insanity

But I truly breathe

To feel my destiny

Day by day I breathe ever so deeply

I truly need to seek refuge in the Lord indeed

I find myself withered away

Truly I am within the light

For I have not given up on life

I strive to have hope

I survived to please

Who but Allah the great and Almighty

Let It Be that I find serenity

To seek hope to truly breathe

Within this life of insanity

I am but being

On the path

I am happy for this time

Walking towards serenity

I am good like the sun that shines on this world

I am but fresh air to a stale room

The chaotic state of the mind

Bends and turns within this time

Disaster soon to come

I am sad, I am mad

The rage that burns within my mind

The chaos that rages within my heart

The darkness that consumes the soul

Is this me disaster about?

Time to be

Within this destiny

Working towards certainty

Acquiring hope, on the mend

The mind is consumed by Bliss

This time I shall not dismiss

Serenity on the path, chaos put at bay

Hoping for something more

I am happy I am glad

Even when I'm sad

For I have hope

Enough for now

Hoping for more

Seek the good, nothing more

Truly Breathe

Disperse the seeds of anxiety

Unable to bend to resort

Working towards happiness

The kindness with us

To let me breathe so fully

Even within the storm, hurricanes of emotions 

Tumbling down mania on the bend

Truly one seeks to mend

Unable to cope, but surely can still hope

Desires to deeds

Within this insanity

Is this truly what is destined?

Is this truly me

Let me breathe, ever so deeply

To be free, to truly need

Working towards recovery, on the mend

I must bend to not break

Rebuilding on the mend

Truly trying is spent

Within this world

Disperse the seeds of anxiety

Working for serenity, to truly breathe

Brief Moments

Where to go from here oh humanity?

To follow the way into the cycle

In this cycle there's but chaos and brief moments of bliss

Does this define

Suffocating to the max

The insanity goes on

Destruction to the max

Wanting, needing, nothing more

Looking into the heart and soul

Away from the Insanity

To bring serenity to the chaos

Having hope, something more

Look to the light

Where to go?

Upon my deeds within my insanity

Looking for what I need

Hoping, loving, having peace

To to prostrate to thee Almighty

That is with Allah

Striving within this strife

Peace is in the heart only within Islam

Not broken beyond the bend, but rebuilding so I can mend

Our miracles will be from our duas

For Allah is the most gracious, the most merciful

The one and only Allah

Holding on, within the doom

For but brief moments of bliss

Even within the insanity

That is following peace

Worthwhile

Upon Time Will Tell

Only to strive on

Ever so ever more

Dismiss darkness

Broken Beyond dreams

Unable to see

Wanting to need

The desires that be

Pondering upon Time

What will come in the end?

Darkness lingers, sweeping in the doom

Walking within the mist

Surely to dismiss

The unhappiness that conquers

Heart and soul ripped from being

Walking into chaos

Waiting for the doom

Wanting nothing but for darkness to end

Where to go from here?

I call upon the God almighty

To grant me the serenity of my heart

To give me courage to fight the darkness

And here it comes knocking

That light that comes

To consume self

To let the light flow

Finding peace ever so

Wanting the solitude to end

For I am alone

For I am not afraid, for Allah is by my side

I call upon thee Lord

My supplication to him only

Clashing serenity clashing chaos

Where to go from here?

To follow the Noor

Or the darkness

Let there be peace with this sanity

Here on a path

Wanting nothing more

But for serenity to consume

Will this ever come to be?

Upon this time of insanity

Desires of Hope

Where to go from here?

Running on a railroad

Of the never ending cycle

The cycle of Chaos

Up to the cloud

Up to Cloud 9

Does this define

Is that just fine?

What to do from here

Say many questions never any answers

Suffocating unable to grasp

What is this hope that everyone desires?

I just want to be me

Even if that is full of insanity

I truly plea with the Lord indeed

Striving to fight the blade

Fighting the flame

For the devour is near

Shall this be what Fate has destined me

Shall I rip from my bearings of the chain

Falling to darkness

Seeking something that is right

Within this light

Shall one find this hope

Calling to the Lord indeed

That is what is meant to be

In my Dua to Allah 

I seek serenity away from the chaos of confusion

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

And surely shall he grant me the courage to overcome my desires

Striving on

Through the cycle of Chaos

To find the path to serenity

To bring hope to the heart and soul

Let It Be within this world of insanity

Hope today so tomorrow does not fade away

What is humanity but perfectly imperfect

Within the world full of fools

Foolish for the deen

For the desires that be

Is one but a fool in this world if they admitted this

We are but in the cycle of Chaos

For this world be doom

As everything is written for Destiny

So here we are being

Within this world of calculated chaos

To bring hope near and dear

To reckon with the light

To be but a fool within the world of chaos

To bring a pathway to the heart

So let it be let it be

Humanity perfectly imperfect

Ready to see

What will come indeed

Dillusion of worth

Striving always

Wanting more, ever so more

Here to stay, reckon with the Noor

Dare to be, so slightly insane

Words echo with my heart

Where to go? What is hope?

Unable to cope, falling for the Nafs

The najs desires of life 

Here I am ever so slightly insane

Hoping for something

To keep the chaos at bay

Where to go from here?

Shall there be a care

Blinded From the dillusion

What is this illusion?

Ever so more, to seek more

Seek the noor, where is that?

The sanity of the light

Relief but a second

Worthwhile ready to burst

Free to be, worth it

Needing to be

So happy to survive this chaos

Serenity is near and dear

For I am guaranteed peace

Even within the insanity

I am worthwhile

Ready for the brim

Peace, hope

Something more

Here to stay

Breaking the whispers

As the patterns appear

I shall seek what Noor leads

Following the way

With the Lord indeed

Allah the Almighty

Hope for me

Worthwhile

Insane but not lost

Seeking serenity

Always

Hoping for something more

Finding peace of mind

Let me breathe

Upon this insanity, let me be

Striving always

Haze of confusion

Is it too late?

Defined what hope is

To wonder what hope wants to be

To be saught within doom

Am I too late? Bring what hope wants to be

To find happiness in the dirty deeds

And I Ponder so much with the insane desires and deeds

Having nothing but a mania phase

Manic on the bend tearing away from the mend

Walking away from the light

To find darkness awaiting

For slumbers within my heart

Conquered by my desires

I'm able to want more

Wondering if this is meant to be

As despair reckons me

So seek thee, that oneness the Almighty

For times of despair shall bring repair

To the heart and soul

On the bend of the mend

What to do from here

Strive within the doom

Strive within the insanity

On a railroad running to the end

The trains coming with this Insanity

1 2 3 on the deeds

To strive within the strife of life

To recognize what is right

Thick and thin the confusion of the haze

But be amazed

The power that be has destined me

To be full of insanity

Needing to be free

Striving in the insanity

seek noor

Swallowing fear

Hoping to comprehend

The terror within the heart

As The whispers come so silently within the mind

As they scream so loudly

Why must this be this way

Stuck in the insanity of the abyss

Lost within the mist

But a beacon of light comes

That is peace of the heart

The soul that bears reckoning

From what is this light

As it comes knocking on door

Wanting to consume the darkness

To bring hope to the mind

Has the solitude brings despair

And who shall surely care

That shall be self

Self-love is needed

But I am defeated

So the light that I reckon

Will come to me

Even within this insanity

Wanting, needing, something that is right

Within this light

I shall deem what is right

To not disappoint

To break free

From this chaotic insanity

So I plea and plea

With the Lord Almighty

And that is light in itself

That is life

But a test without a struggle is nothing

To strive on

To conquer the darkness and to embrace the light

Perhaps that is what is needed

Within this chaotic world of insanity

Artificial Bliss

Look to the sky

Will I cry?

Upon a time to come

Standing at the base

Hoping for solitude

These whispers conquer

Taking the heart, breaking to pieces

Stuck in the abyss

Shall I dismissed?

What will come

Of this insanity

I plea with this world

To hear, to see pass the illusion

Perhaps this is a delusion

Happiness but something that is gone

Artificial Bliss, what will come if I miss

Here within the doom

I shall devastate thyself

Reaper please come for me

The fight goes on

The everlasting war

Hear my Battle cry

As I scream so silently

So lightly

Let It Be

Within this of insanity

Will I be pleading with the Lord indeed

I call upon Allah

Save me from myself

For I am the destroyer

For I am the devourer

For I am a warrior

I shall Trek on

In this artificial Bliss shall I truly dismiss

To finally breathe so freely

So deeply

Let me breathe, pass the powers that be

Come on follow me

In the calculated chaos of this world

I shall not be defeated

I shall carry on

What will come of me

Time shall truly tell

Patience for the heart

Solitude within destiny

Let me breathe so deeply

Just breathe

Foolish Warrior

Am I but a fool

Stuck in this foolish world

Unable to comprehend

Breaking into pieces

Crumbling at disaster

Despair within the heart

Hopelessness

All of these things are here

Why must this be

Do I deserve this?

I hate myself

I do not love myself

For if I did I would not ready the blade

Despair conquers my heart

Hopelessness sweeps me into the darkness

Hate burdens me

What will come of this

Disaster will come

Maniac of Bliss

Shall I dismiss

Unable to cope

Shall there be hope

What is that

Where to find

Where to go

What is needed

That is light

To conquer the darkness

For hope will conquer all

Where to find this indeed

It's quite easy you see

Fall down and prostrate to thee Almighty

Worshiping so lightly

Ever so tightly

Does my heart feel

Hope is needed

Within the heart there is but a small light

Flickering within the haze

Almost going out

It shines brighter

What is this

That I feel

That is peace

That is Islam

Oh Allah

Have mercy on me

For the darkness conquers me

I'm ever so weak

With you Allah I am strong

I will strive on

Fighting against the darkness at every moment

I am but a warrior

Within this light

I shall dismiss this despair

Opening my arms to Bliss

That is Islam that is peace of the heart and soul

the Infinity of Chaos

Crumbling from desires

Standing as an Empire

Over the masses of the mind

Starting to turn face

Facing everything at once

Overbearing oneself

Crumbling to disaster

Where to find self

Falling into chaos

Unable to cope

The dirty desires are done

For the monster inside

Devours my soul

So lonely and empty inside

Up we go to Cloud 9

Does this define

The times that one can be full of glee

Times turn over and over again

Up to the mania of the chaos

Only to shift again

Now I'm balanced but for a minute

To shift again

Up down all around

Here I am in the insanity of my mind

The infinity

Until the end chaos shall reign

My heart burns ever so

The fire inside burning so brightly

To take the Noor in

For we be rebuilding

Taking control

To confirm that this may be the way

Solitude not alone

For the fear of loneliness may be gone

Where to find Hope

Where to find Grace

What will come of this

Serenity of the heart

Only for about a minute

Counting the minutes as they go by

Striving on, here we go into the chaos

Taking control, allowing the light to consume

The fire inside burn so lightly

Hope inside is bright, so we be

In the everlasting circle

This time we have serenity on our side

So the lighthouse shines brightly inside the soul

A beacon to the solitude

Bringing serenity in

That is what is needed to conquer

The mania, finally I'm free

To be truly me

Within this insanity

There be but Noor

Within my heart

Shining brightly

Bringing peace

That is what is needed

insomnia wonders

3:00 a.m. wonders

Tightness in my chest

Unable to comprehend

Anxiety at the max

Insomniac

Unable to slumber

Tick tock on the clock

What to do from here?

Up down all around

The mind you see is up and down

How about I come around

I plea so silently

To who indeed

That is Allah the Almighty

3:00 a.m. fun

Not knowing what to do

Mindful of the situation

Despair will come

Hope will disappear

As the clock goes on

Nearly 4:00 am

Wanting to slumber

Unable to do so

Insomniac 

Critical to the max

Hoping to hit the pillow

Hoping to hold onto sanity

I can upon the Lord indeed

To save me from myself

The bad deeds, surely reap 

Mania bursting at brim

Unable to comprehend

Why must I be this way?

Hoping for this chaos to end

Insomnia here it comes

Mind deprived of sanity

Surely the insaniac

Full of insomnia

Can strive to do better

To Hope, to overcome despair

Ponders that will never end

So we shall depend

Upon the Lord indeed

Shall save me from my insanity

Truly is this what is needed within this despair

Truly let's climb the stairs

Holding on to hope

Wanting something more

Insomnia wanting more

Ponders and wonders ever more

Rooftop Fool

Sitting here on the roof top

Making me wonder, of this glorious world

Who am I?

A fool within the world of fools

Pondering a time that has passed

Broken into peices

Sitting here wondering

What is next?

The day comes as the clouds roll endlessly

Over my head, what wonder this world is

Am I a disappointment?

What will come of this ponder

Here I am sitting full of serenity

I breathe the breaths of freedom

I am free, I will conquer my desires

I truly need strength to overcome this storm

With my heart so burdened

By the troubles of the world

I am but perfectly imperfect

A human within this world

A care taker, as it was destined

The world to vast

Here I am

Pondering until another storm comes

I rise to realize that time that demands us

Is but limited

So make the best of what we have

Ponder those thoughts

Make them into actions

To bring peace to the heart and soul

To bring peace to the world

Dash

Dashing through uncertainty 

Where you go from here?

Finding something that is wanted, needed

The light that leads one

Wanting something more

Hiding from the doom

As the Nafs conquer me

Following the way

The Noor

What is this

The light inside me

I breathe holding in destiny

Breaking into disaster

The mania here

Out of control

So I seek

The Noor

Following the way

To find Hope at the end of the tunnel of vision

Even with the disaster

Of bipolar

I breathe, even when the pain speaks to the

Destined to fail

The mind surely is bent

Beyond destination

One can hope

Keep on holding on

Never giving in to najs thoughts

Shall I be

Free finally to hope

Wanting nothing but to Hope

So I will

Ponder on within my destiny 

To breathe, to finally be

Free from the shackles of the past

Burdened so

I shall not give to the disaster

I shall recovery

I shall arrive only to strive

Within this world of calculated Chaos

Pinned

 I am but a blank slate

Ready for anything to come

I am within my solitude

Within doom to be

Devastate my heart

Has each pin points

Shall I fall to the dirty deed

Within this destiny

Shall I truly need

What's meant to be

Within this mind that sees

Upon the time that needs

Let it be upon this time of insanity

Seeking what might be of clarity

To find that serenity of the heart and soul

I am but rebuilding

Broken not beyond the bend

Fitting everything together again

I am but broken, gluing the pieces together

To bring something of a masterpiece to be

Will there be help beyond thee

Perhaps this is what is destined for me

Pin cushion destiny

Heart needed within this

So revealed within destiny

Let it be let it be

Pin cushioned Bliss

Bliss?

Prepaid Bliss

But on the blitz 

Here we are

Seeking something not real

Artificial Bliss but only to dismiss

Up in the sky, shall defy what had been written for me

There's the need to be bad at deeds

Mania on the bend

I be trying to mend

Up up to Cloud 9

Does this define the prepaid Bliss

Of the artificial Bliss

Running on the treadmill into sanity

Only to drop down to the ground

Down again coming to darkness

Here we go again

Upon the time

This time I will mend

Surely not to bend

To be firm allowing serenity

To help me

Breathing just every so nicely

Breathe here there everywhere

Life may be slightly off putting, but sanity in near always

Dare to live, upon today

Seeking the way

Do you truly call thee

For you be good or bad

The choice is yours

To seek what is right

To follow a desire

What will come

So many choices to make

Perhaps the time will come

With a shining purity will come

Showing its light to you

So seek the noor

Away from najs nafs

Bringing happiness to the heart

Bringing peace to serenity

We be good but evil

That be humanity to a key

What is right

Perhaps this is a tightrope

Trying to balance one's soul

Wobbling as one walks

Trying to not look down at the spare

Having desires to look up at purity

Follow your deeds, make them good with balance

Avoid the darkness

Seek the light

For darkness truly brings despair

Following the Noor

Will this be truth

Bringing peace to the heart

That is serenity

To bring me through the thick uncertainty

Being a beaming light

Guiding those

To Hope

Bringing happiness here and there

That is what is needed

In this world of despair

Of clarity we shall be

Away from the chaos deeds

So seek the way

Perhaps it will save you someday