update

im playing a game with  a varity selection of topics this does not reflect my faith I am still following the deen and raising my eman always inshallah

Rhythm

Why must you hurt me so

To create Havoc

Perhaps a rip in reality

Are these emotions mine?

They feel like they are mine 

They want to be mine

Being stuck on a dime and it's time to rhyme and will it be in time.

Reckon it's right

Back right at the emotions

Don't let them conquer your heart

This alien source beyond comprehension

A skill to feel to rhythm

To flow to the way

Where you feel peace of mind

This is where you find that the illusion is not beyond reach

Is that possible?

Running on sanity

Where did we go from here

Are we lost

Suffocating on what is deemed for us

To run to max speed

Going no where on this cycle machine

What is next for thee

That myself can conquer anything thrown at me

Even those damn razor blades

That slice that flesh

To form laser beam fathom badges

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Shouting

Is this bliss

Cannot be

Is that sanity

Open for Me

Sun soaked bliss

Ever lasting serenity

Yes please...

A Way To See

Ruptured heart beats clear the way
Is this is what to to come of myself
To drip on the bliss, to sip happiness
Only one millisecond to please the deed
Inhaling joy, what is to come with me

So many badges deemed for me
To wear my heart on my sleeve

Visionary to carry
A deadly deed, to a good deed

To beg to the one
Allahu
Allahu
Where are you?
What is next on the agenda of Qadar

I scream
Within my heart
To be shattered beyond reality
Is this whats meant for me

I plea
Oh so lord
What will come of thee
Will I ever sun soaked bliss
Never residing in the heart
Until the end
The last breath draws near

To be clear
To see
To reflect

Scattered
Confused
Lost
Bent but not broken
To freeze in a fight, fly beyond the deadly deed, to fight the fright away.

Is this meant for me
Hold me tight
Noor hold me
Whats not destined
Can I be free, to say to humanity
To Save ones self
That is key

The Edge

I am
What is this
Perhaps its me, upon the edge
Shall this be deemed for me
To Leap
Rather not but tread lightly upon the edge
Labeled so
I wish not me me
Bring this to me
What shall I be
Upon the labels destined for me

Shall I worship Allah?
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Do you hear me?
Bismillah Ar-Rahmanraheem
Is this whats meant, to suffer so in the insanity
As I scream eternally
This is me
Deemed for me
Shall I just be?

Something on the other side of the edge is here

Familiarity is near
To strive
To beg, to repent
To be stuck in this bliss
Christ are you who deem the Christians to be?
Are you lord to thee?
Is your father, the eternal Father for all?

This is falsehood I believe

I'm stuck on insanity destined for me

Edge walker, so it be

What will be next?

She Calls

What is this
But a desire deep down
Deeper than the devour
One that wants to ride out on a high
Is this me
Do I desire
To smoke bliss
Inject hope
Whats next

I desire what might kill
She is sexy
She is beautiful
A dream to come true

Shall I smoke on this bliss
Warm me up she says
Ready the needle
To soak up a deadly deed
But the insanity is far from me

As you see beyond what reality
This be bliss
I ready to die for her
Thank you lovely
It was meant to be
Stuck running on temporary
Reality is near
Time to shoot another
Cant get enough
I am ready
What is next?

Chaos of the heart and soul in here
What is meant for me
To be near an end
many doors to lead there
Shall I dance with her?
That sweet deed

MemBrain

Crazy in the membrane
Can i comprehend
What is here
Now above the mist
Shall I take thee leap
Of destiny
Near and Dear
I'm left
Sipping on bliss
Sucking in the chaos
What shall be dismissed
I feel queasy in here
Bout to explode
Am I right?
Beyond what seems
This must be insanity
Here I am
Reckless
Beyond what is right
Crazy on the outside
Wanting nothing more than serenity...

Whats next?

To conquer the darkness
So I can adjust
What will be destined for me
Beyond this reality
Illusions can be a must
To Take me beyond my deeds
To What is desired

A place of serenity
Where the worries of anxiety disappear
Fears of all kinds never fear
We be sipping on bliss
Not Letting the chaos in
For this is serenity

Just for moment

Then back to insanity
Where Fear rules my every being

I still smile
For I am free to BE

Void

In this void, shall I dismiss what I will miss
Surely this abyss shall be broken for the light shall consume
What is this light to be deemed for me
It I reckon would be spirit
As its spreads healing all within its way
For Grace has been added to the emotion
That I strut

Knock knock
Its reaps upon heart and soul
Base board to base board
Shall I reside whats inside

Glory Glory
I do not deny what the light represents
To Reap thy soul, the abyss lingers
sucking in darkness
I barely breathing

Glory Glory what is this light
Holy Lovely Peace deemed for all

I have doubt, but I know how the deen was never meant for me

Far to good to be deemed
To Toss a stone at a mother of three or four
I cannot do
For the Light resides in thy heart

Is Islam meant for me
nah lets see what destined for me

Sunkissed

Shine of bright
Star that represents me
To arise in the morning

Gently raising into thy sky to be

Just be
Crimson light to be within its destiny

Creation seeks thee

God Almighty brought me to be

Without Allahu I would not shine

Allahu
Remember to say salaam to thee
Crimson be

To set in the west
Rising in the east
Lay to rest when I rest
Rising with thee
From the east you see
Orange bliss, a rash of pink clear Sky's ahead
For the sunshine shall rule the day
Ever more Ever so

Screaming me

Oh so mighty
Struck to the heart to be
Stuck in a high such as cloud nine
up up I go
Shall I breath my last breath
To suffocate beyond bliss
Illusions of patterns ruin me
To be born this way
Makes one wonder
If God almighty is just
To Suffer what is this
Tarnished every so
I'm stuck writing upon my heart with a bloody Quill of pain

To be sipping on bliss

To choke on serenity

I seek Refuge
In you alone
As I scream inside outside to be
Allahu Allahu Allahu

To recite bliss
To be within a drip of serenity
To seek, to be
Is this meant to be

Wandering on star based board
Roll on the dice
The gamble of life
Shall he win
His whispers that follow me
Drown him out
I recite thee
The last three of a surah deemed for me you i and the insanity

This must be destiny

I scream
Allahu Save me
From this insanity

I'm barely hanging on my edge
Whats meant for me
To Suffer
To scream
IS THIS ME?

The Chains

I am here
Finally at the door
Do not dismiss
This is bliss

To break the chains
That bound my soul
To do the evil deed

To break
To fall into a million shifts in reality
I scream
Is this meant for me
Beyond the insanity
Must this be

To carve out the engraved
To not murmur
The old ways
Tying this whole hearted

I breath beyond the abyss

Do I miss what's near the bliss
That old Devil will sink in my heart
But to prevail over falsehood

I confess with all my heart
Deemed for all
That light that hope
To break
To be
To ponder
What's next for me but recovery
From the illusion

They shift and then cause chaos
Of mind and soul

I rebuke you demons

In the name of Lord and saviour
Who will be named
But King of Kings
Jesus Christ
That's his name
For he is the word
From of light
That might be too break the false reality

What was once there is not here
captured by the darkness, and let the hurt begin
they whisper and it devastates me
beyond what is this reality
As the mind sees
Stuck within the dust
Suffocating on the smoke
He snickers
Is this right I ponder upon time
Is this is whats meant to be
To ready the blade
To quote the flame
Why must I be here within the chaos deemed for you and I
Let it be said I shall walk in the shadows
Never knowing what peace is

To seek bliss
Shall this reap thy heart
Thump Thump
My heart rate is up
Unfortunate to gather this state of serenity
must I conquer this desire
To be tarnished beyond repair

There is something that may conquer the war

Tainted beyond repair

Who are we but the tarnished
A sinner in a world full of sin
One might be able to conquer him the Godhead
Who shall this be deemed to set me free
A light comprehended beyond what is right
And this light is for me surely for you
I reckon this us mighty to set me free

I fall to my knees to accept you to set me free
Is this right
I am but engraved in falsehood
What I think is true is beyond reality
I scream only to be heard by the snicker and he is there always
Am I burdened?
So am I never gonna win
Why fight the fright
Shall never give up
That's my will and surely my life
That I give to thy lord to take
To guide me through recovery of the heart
Lord to kingdom do I  come
Am I worthwhile?

Lord of the light
Conquer the darkness
That reaps reason
Lord you are the warmth of heart and soul
Destined for me and those who are deemed for you
All of the tarnished ever so...

Reckoning

Where to go from here
I am almost gone
So I plead
With you alone
Do you hear me?
My soul reeks of decaying bliss
I'm almost gone
I reckon
This Light I feel
Will bring somewhat to a bit of peace
I am here
Waiting to feel you in my heart
Wanting nothing more
Than your love

People souls speak of you
I'm stuck here worshiping falseness
Can I have a break from the insanity?

Your light came to me

In dreams to come

The edge walker, is falling to the abyss

You reach you light your arms to me

I reach for the blade
I know nothing more
You conquer the darkness
Your the light

Tears roll on done and I shiver from fright
In this holy light
You alone are the savior for me
To rise up to be with you
The light the is near

You are for me
This feels right
I'm lost
but your near
Glory Glory
show me peace
Reckon this is right within the light

The warmth of you my lord

I say
you are for me
Save from the insanity the abyss
Take me to the bliss
With you always my lord

I pray
To you
Jesus
you Died for me
For us
For Aba
Choose you, his only begotten son
you are for me
This light I need
I reckon my heart is right
You pull me
I am near
Bring me close
I cry tears of joy
For this light is for me
I say oh my lord
My light
Jesus lord and savior
Bask with me
They light deemed for all
Even me
Stuck in the insanity
there is but bliss for a moment, I choose this
To be with be you
Jesus you are that light
Amen

The Rock?

Where Do I go from here?
Do I stay still and hold my breath, to deepen my might
I can imagine what your like
Warm , peace, love, passion
All the things that my current God lacks
Am I on the right path
Perhaps not I ready the flame
To burn my flesh and soul
To prepare for the hellfire
I'm destined to be free

Light is sought
I don't know where to go
I'm an edge walker

Where am I
I'm lost in the abyss, readying the blade, to cut the chaos out
To cut
To burn
To rip and turn
Where shall I go
Shall I seek refuge in God
But who is God
Is it Allah
or dare I say what true love is

You are a rock
You are light
Gather my spirit
Bring me close
I surrender
I don't know what right or wrong

I'm lost in this path as it unwinds
where to go from here
To through a stone or too along the ever flowing peace
That's what sought is the Glory of God
So where to go from here

Shall I ponder upon the time in this evening
To go beyond the sadness
beyond the darkness
To feel the so called bliss
That leads to peace

Guide us

Let me hear
What is meant for you and I
It's meant for all creation
Sweet Al Quran
Bless me
Bring serenity near to my flesh and soul
My heart is emotionally drained
But the voices of those who believe are deemed to see
What do the blind finally see beyond the deeds
Is this what's meant to be
Emotionally deemed for me
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Are you here?
Do you hear my dua?
I scream within the mind to see beyond the false reality
Aoothu billaah mina shayton ajeem
I'm ready to fight
For you
For I am free to believe
It's destined for me
Shall this mean
That happiness is attainable
Within the serenity of the word
For the word leads me
Deemed right to bask in the light
Allahu guide those deemed to struggle
Our jihad
Some are simple others are hard
Try not to be bitter
Bitterness leads to doubts
And within this you will hear his whispers
We know who you are
Authoo billaah mina shayton ajeem
I am free to choose
Ashdo aana la illaah ilaallaah wa ashdo  ana Muhammadan rusaallah
And let us scream deemed for you and I
I'm a Muslim
I suffer but life is but a test
Aspire to care for self so you can desire the Deen
That's right
I'm here
Free once again
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Guide me

Me beyond reality

Here, There, and Where
this is time to stay
Or do i wander upon the starz gaze
Until the galaxies verse expands
What to say
Authoo billah mina shayton ajeem
Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem
Allahu is this whats meant to be
To shift to turn to jerk this way
I'm here tearing up
Dripping down the slops
To ready the blade, to not be there
To seek
To be
Why must this is what is right
Upon this dismay
getting into the cycle of chaos
Am I deemed to be
To be free to desire
To be happy for once
To have serenity
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Where am I
shall I dismiss this time once again
OR breath beyond a deadly deed
Is this right to be
Beyond what maybe reality
To see beyond the box beyond the illusion
To reckon what is light
To seek
To ponder
Once upon a time, Did I scream within the insanity?
yes I maybe
Right beyond the light
Sipping on bliss
Allahu Allahu Allahu
purify me
conquer the fight
To let the light in
To not suffocate
To not choke
I must breath
This is for me
Why must I struggle beyond the light and suffocate why must this be
Upon time this is truth for Allah For God is just
That is what was meant for you and me

What have I found

Where to go?
So many of possibility to be
Near to defeat
Upon the staircase what is meant for me?
To gaze upon sanity
Where is it next to be, standing in the star gazed bliss
Sinking into desire
melting into the chaos
is this what meant for you and I?
Bring me close to my spirit
I call as you whisper into my heart
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Oh Allah
Safe me from my nafs
They burden my heart, to sink into the chaos
Bismillah ar rahman ar rahmeen
Here I am shifted once again
up down side to side
here i am being
caught up with the bliss sending me into a chaotic state
What will happen
In the coming days
if only medication was a must
until the question that answered its you and I
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Please hold me
Guide me
Give me shifa
Inshallah
Ameen
what is next?
its time to face
What is here
next to my heart
lets just breath upon sanity
for but a moment
in this bliss
comprehend not life but bliss, to bring the nafs to justice
What is happening?
I am right upon what I say
You shall not mention this
Aoothu billah mina shayton ajeem
Bismillah ar rahman ar raheem

What is this soothing

Upon this is what deemed beyond reality
The glimmer as the mind See's
Up and Down
Side to Side
Reverse
Snicker here and there
what lives beyond the illusions
What will be right
What is for me
This soothes me
What is meant to lighten the heart
Do you hear my inside scream, is this deemed for me
I say I seek refuge with my heart to you alone
Allahu  Allahu  Allahu
I say again
Allahu you are for me
To whisper within the heart
Bismillah Arahman Araheem
To feel, to be, within the illusion, as it burns what is next for me
I say again within my heart
Allahu  Allahu Allahu
Please save me
From the glimmering
Soothe me
Do not burden me
You made me right
Why such the fight
To go beyond fright
to whisper into my heart, to seek refuge from the accursed Satan to to with you always
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Bring this near me
your word
for its burns
as one may be tarnished so
Only you can save me
From this insanity
That is near to me
is this what its meant for my destiny?
Allahu Allahu Allahu
Allah
Bismillah arahman araheem

Upon this day

There is but hustle and oh so bustle

To prepare for what is deemed right in this day

To be

To smile

A kindness one two three four, how many more?

Does it matter what is reality beyond the illusion

Shall I reside what is light?

Perhaps this is right, but back to the endless day

With smiles and good cheer

To not isolate

To sink beyond help, but I reckon this light is for me

Is it beyond reality?

Sure this is me

Hope is but a glimmer beyond the chaos

So here I am pondering upon this time

To not be lost within out of minds for the chaos will reap our hearts

Here we are being beyond the sanity, but what a grasp it is

To ponder wander and wonder

Perhaps this will save a life or two…

What Has to Be

Upon time
I am here
Do I drift into what is deemed the light
To rip up the tears
To sigh relief
They roll down my face, am I ready to express?
To be free, as I breath
Where am I?

Upon Time
Free to be, as I drift.
Get ready am I right to be this tonight
To rip, to tear, burn ever so lightly
This may be, a part of the past

Get ready, here I am
Free with glee
Even within this destiny
For hope is near and dear
Another millisecond here and gone

What am I?
To be here within thy mind
Its my fate, what the power be

Sucking up bliss, to exhale desire
The desire to go beyond what is deemed blissful
A gasp of this bring the tip
To Suffocate
its time to be
Right for me
Is this what is my fate
shall I be ready for what is needed

here they come
one by one
up down
side to side
Vision so lightly
A pattern deemed what meant to be
In this bliss that will be dismissed
To hope to be
Far from this reality
What is needed?
is this right?

Is there Room?

Where am I?

Stuck in this chaos of thy mind

Do I express this time?

To let the happiness out

Is there room for this bliss?

What is next

Perhaps I am right tonight

To conquer time, to have reality

I ponder truly to be stuck out of this desire of the blade

For Bliss shall not be dismissed

Until in a few blinks of my eye, my mind is wandering

Into the galaxies verse

Is there room for me?

To be with thy bright light of serenity

I Wish I knew a way to allow this without

The drift, to shift, to jerk, and slice

because that is what leads to both

Control of the desires to end

To be, to know self, to lose self

Until I die a another minute

Here I am being?

Is this what meant to be, within ones fate to be

I don't want to be this way

I never once thought I would make such a journey

Of destruction to grace of kindness

If not for self at least for the betterment of humanity

Is there room for me?

To be happy with glee

To feel lonely and be

To conquer the wreck

Is this reality?

Perhaps it can be

It depends on the mind

If it ponders within time, how to feel and be

is this whats meant.....

A ponder

Allahu allim
I'm here again
pondering upon time
Can I barely reach the surface
Allahu allim
I call out
Only one answers me
deemed for us
demmed for you and me
Bliss surely not to dismiss
Down and not right
I drift
To sink in the dank darkness
Shifting until the mania sets in
Rapid emptiness
they say
what is ment to be
I am Me
Prfect as I can be
Even within the insanity
Perhaps
this is right
Upon these days
Allahu Akbar
I am with you God almighty
Save me from my self
Make this my hope
Allahu allim
Why do I suffer
only to suffer more
I here freedom is here
Do I choose?
Seems that way
inshallah its get better
because darknesss is winning
and bliss barely surfaces
inshallah ameen

Freedom

Where do I go from here
I am at a new beginning
Powder on my face
Bring a smile to my teeth
Care to bare these feelings
Upon this time
Dare not to fret
Care to be
beyond the insanity
Free the mind
Upon this time
I am free
To be locked in Clarity
Far from the insane in the membrane
To think beyond those deadly deeds
I am here
Ready for anything
Bare this feelings
One by one
Does this define
What am I?
Is the chaos near?
Far from me
I Pray
To have faith
To be
Away I See
Beyond the reality
of thy mind
Do I see
What wonders hold for me
In this new path
New hope
New rifts
I am free
Finally

time to break

my heart is open
as each emotion is felt
I drop to the floor screaming for it all to end
I hear small whispers
of memories long forgotten
reaching to the surface
scratching to get out
where am I
far from the bliss
even the abyss
my heart is shattered
all this emotions
run a current throughout me
am I stuck?
will I be alright
I scream
Beyond what is reality
I'm lost
where am I?
what's next?
can I conquer myself
as each tear
ruptures my sanity
I am me
Beyond what seems to be
I reckon what is right
is beyond the Bliss
farther than the abyss
what is next?

shall I leap
shall I feel
what is right
Beyond the fight

I stand
as a being
within reality
breaking my heart
as each memory
hurts so
why so much pain
must be endered
what will time tell
this tale to come

Sanity

Where am I?
Lost upon time
Perhaps it's time to ponder
Is this right?
My steps upon the sands of the hourglass
Beckon that the light is right
What shall I do?
What am I?
Shall I loosen my grip
On this reality to be
Out of the insanity
To the Bliss
Do not dismiss
For it's attainable
Work hard
Have I
I'm here aren't I
Shall the reaper
Take my soul
I feel empty
Beyond what is right
Bliss is here
Beyond my reach
Darkness
Light
The ultimate fight
For my soul tonight
Shall the devil
Enter my spirit
To cut
To burn
To destroy
To devour
This is what feels right
What is right
They is the light
Allah
God he is right
Upon this night
To bring dua
I scream
Beyond what is here
To ponder
To wonder
And once again wander

When we are here

Sometimes we find ourselves
Lost
Consumed with all emotion
We find that our worries
Are overbearing
Some find our plates so full

We can barely move from each burden
As it twisted our will
We are broken
Is it Beyond repair?
Unable to cope

Do we resort to our desires
To taste Bliss
But a second
Can turn to a eternity
Of hopelessness

What must we do?
When we have lost ourselves

Write my heart out
I am me
To cut is my serenity
Is this wrong?
It seems so right
As the Crimson Bliss is to dismiss

Here we are
Done
Lost
Found
Here
There

Until the day ends
We are here
But when the new sunrise
Is here
Do we wander?

We may seem lost

But United we are
Even when all chaos
Is near
A helping hand
Will be there

Repair

Morning sunrise
let me be tarnished
beyond repair
that's a start to this day
upon my heart
does it beat
I breath
blowing out that flame
charred flesh
here I come
Unable to cope
so I resort to a new way

here I am
charred to a bit
unable to cope so i set
what is next?
What will happen next?

I pray
Serenity is but temporary
that bliss is far from me

To blister and bubble
to do this entirety
I am me
stuck in chaos
unable to cope

So that flame dances along the soft skin

what is right?

Everything is wrong?

Here I am
Falling into the pit
not able to cope
so I be
within this destiny
let me be

Fate

As I sink
This my fate
To drown in sorrows
To die in the light
To be reborn
That's the key
I'm stuck on railroad
Coming to an end
To slice all the emotions
To let out the darkness
As the river runs loose
Chaos is near
Around the bend
Am I near an end?
As each emotion
Sucks me from reality
I'm here
Unable to breath
To suffocate in isolation
To drown
Let us devour
It is right
In this darkness
When will the light shine?
Ever since brightly
Tonight is the night
To end the fight
What will go on
For me
Stuck in this insanity
My mind can't expand beyond what is right
For me
In this chapter soon to come

What is next?

Where am I?
But at a cross road
to the bliss
to the abyss
what is next for me?
I suffocate beyond repair
do I need to stare?
upon this day do I reap
to take thee leap

What is meant for me?
beyond the abyss
is it something light right within the desire
do I creep
It has to be right

no more doubts
I'm ready for this is right
for me
shall I take thee leap
for my destiny

To Wonder

To ponder?

 what is to be within the insanity

 but a hope to bring balance a light for all a desire

 to be just be within destiny of thy heart

 do one confess what is light in the right 

but Allah that's what right in this night

Upon time do I wonder

What is Next?
But Dua for the heart
is that truly whats for me
it brings serenity
is this peace
for the mind
as we recite what is just
what is right
in this day
night
eve
morning
dawn to dusk
I call upon thee
Oh Allah
I surrender
to hope
to cope
In shall Allah

Beyond the Bend

Here I am
At the rift
about to drift
beyond the bend
another hope to come
upon this desire
shall I be?
Within my destiny
to see
beyond my reality
to reckon with the bliss
to accept
to keep the bliss

Upon this eve
I am me
stuck
I choke
To bear this
Pain
Heart ache
Why must it be this way?

I'm left to be
stuck within reality
as bliss drifts from me
I stare until I'm blind
Looking for something to find
Lost not yet on the mend
To discover whats next

Shall I follow thy heart?

This pain hurts me
Tarnished
around the bend
unable to cope
Cope
Reap
Redeem
beyond the mend
for the end is near
and ever so dear...

Bargin

what will have to happen
to come to be
out of the insanity
its clear to me
yet my desire drags me down
for the 5% of bliss
away from the abyss

when the cons
out way the pros

a new beginning
where I go
Somewhere near and dear
its meant for me
perhaps

If I was to win
within the mend
it depends
do I follow my desire to more disaster?

Here I am suffocating to the max
body soul spirit and mind
here to ponder
do I save myself
or dwell to thy deem

To redeem
To breath
To be
Just one step ahead of insanity

Hope this for me

its Come

Here I am pondering
Upon time to come
Do hath has
What is here this time
But a sunken ship deep within
In the solitude to be
Stuck
Lost
Twisted to turn around the bend
here I come
What is next
Do I scream?
WHY
must it be this way
as the emotional stress
cuts and burns the flesh
Scarred beyond the star

Do I sit and ponder
into the abyss
beyond the bliss
What is next?
To fight
To be bitter
Always here
Near the edge

Rock Bottom

I scrap and climb the mountains of the mind

Here I am
Star stare at me
They glimmer so lightly
are they right for me?

What is next?
To slice
To Burn
To Scream
so suddenly
I'm near the bend that's by the end
what is next
Breath....

Stay

I'm stuck
in the bust
Have I lost the fight
Unbalanced am I
Bending to my desire

Dare I say this

I am here lost beyond the mend
Until then I depend on what to do
Shall I Reap till the end?

I reached to the stars
do they defend the mend?
Does this mean its the end?

In this reality I am me
Free
To
Be
Stuck in a drift
at the end
of the abyss
shall I miss?

Ruptured heart beats
time to mend
beyond reality
Soaked in crimson bliss
blood soaked bliss
Shall this be?
I am me
Does this depend on me

The Question reaps
Do I mend?
To defend the heart
So lets mend

To be within the reality
beyond the heart
to feel again
to be
why must it come to this
do I miss

Time to stay

My request

Perhaps it's time
To mend
To breath those breaths
To free the mind
Addiction is far from the mend
But drifts in this abyss
Will I surface from the haze
To conquer
To be defeated Beyond Repair
To trust self
That i will conquer the desire to be stuck in sanity
The feelings will hurt me so
Will I take the blade
Burn the flesh
Determined to fight
To flush the light out
I am me
Is this my destiny?
Following the heart
Is best for me
True to self
Forever free

How to Mend

Here I am
Here Again
Perhaps she is right this night
That is why I feel it
its sunken without bliss
Do I dismiss?
For the bliss
Im here pondering

Twisting Turning around the bend

Here I am
stuck in the insanity of my mind
Ripping down a session
to turn the mood
Deep dank depression
move from me
I dont need this to be
As i stuck beyond the bliss
do I dismiss
for the bliss

Here i am
Pondering upon time
All I have
is me
here I am
almost out of the mist
near the bend
does it depend
how I mend

Rtythm to Mayhem

Here I am in this Everlasting Light
Pondering where the outcome Maybe
Stressing on the world wonders indeed
When I go about stressing on you stressing on me stressing on everything you see
It's the balance of insanity
The hallucinations are here
The glimmer and glimmer so nothing can show but them
Tiny slanted faces as they say they be
Whispering just whispering as they stare so Stanley
It's strange to be in a type of hallucination as this
My vision is flawed all I see this them
They be the faces
Ever staring Evermore
I don't know how to conquer these
One Med to med 3 Med four all don't care to mend anymore
I'm stuck here in this insanity
Wanting nothing more but to take the blade and let the Crimson blood flow as I gasp for air
This is irrational thinking
But what's better fit for an irrational being like me
Here I am stuck in this cycle of Chaos
Go up up up up to Cloud 9
As we stare back at our body we drift and move with Society
but here on cloud nine there isn't a expectations
Some people say why don't you just believe in God
Why do believe in God
but I'm still stuck in this Insanity of my mind  and not the proper serotonin 
God made me this way
I beg and cry and ask God to Save Me From Myself
But never am I saved
I'm here to wrestle my reality
1 pill 2 pill 3 pill more
That's the sanity
No Cloud 9
Not with these
No insanity no emotion no depression
Zombify me
Dare I say
That insanity is me it defies me
It is me the insanity in the membrane
There is no stopping me
Unstoppable undroppable
I challenge you to come to me with your sanity and show that it's with me
In the end I'm here I mean forever in this insanity

Sands of Time

I am me
Stuck in the insanity
of thy mind
do I ponder upon time
Whats next but a muck
stuck within the dank depression
my mind expands
beyond the circle of humanity
Dare I ponder into the nights sky

As I drown deeply into the nights sky
do i ponder upon time
what is next?

Time is all you need
its part of my destiny
shall this be the fight
to the night
as each emotion touches the surface
I face a ruptured heart
bare this feeling

To twist to turn
What is next for me
Upon a shooting star
this is my dream to be

I stand within the sand of time
in the everlasting hourglass
is this right
I ponder
Only to wonder....

To not care

Panic has set in
Some sort of mania
Is that what's to be
Just a hollow shell
Coping to the max
Written here and there
I am me
Stuck Beyond the Bliss
Unable to suffer
To ready the blade
To scream
WHY!
Must it go this way
Have I don't harmed myself enough
That the flame burns bright
To touch the skin
To feel
A controlled substance
To mend
Beyond what meant to be
I scream
Stuck in the abyss
I'm suffocating
To the max
Watch me die
During this dire time
Do I care
So let's prepare
To Care

Lost always

I feel this in my heart as well as thy mind
Twist and turn
Whispers emerging from the heart
Until I'm here
#34
Stuck to consume
What drifts
In my heart
Turns to the mind
The darkness
The emptiness
Sanity far from here
I sit here
Pondering upon time
What's left for me?
To consume
A desire to control
To cut that flesh
To rip and turn
To take the flame to the skin
I don't deserve anything
I'm left crying
Holding it all in
And now it rips and burns
As every emotion turns to a wreck
Where am I?
Left in this place
To ponder until
I am sane
I'm stuck in the insanity
My mind is a wreck
My heart has sunken
In the emotions
I'm drowning
Whispers
They snicker
They tarnish the soul
I'm left here pondering
What will my outcome be
Will the 34 help
Uncertain is this
Here once again
What's a safety net
I'm lost
In the abyss of thy mind
What shall I do
To cope with the blade
To burn with the flame
It's my sanity
I'm left
In the abyss
Do I miss what is right
Am I wrongful?

In my deeds

Repair

To torment the mind
Beyond repair
To swell in emotion
To drown in tears
To express
Through the blade
To touch the skin
To burn the flesh
All these
Are escapes from the real reality
To cope
To express
To mend
Am I just?
To reap tears
To express Beyond repair
To wallow
To suffocate
To suffer
Meant for me
Within this insanity
Dare to care
Beyond what
To swell with emotion
Do I care
To express
It's here
Do I care
Do I need to care
To be in repair
I'm scared
Of the unknown
To ponder
Beyond the box I am
I stare
To care
To self reflect
What is next...

Today to Care

As the minutes
Turn to hours
I'm stuck here
In my solitude
Of the white room
With the camera staring down at me
I feel every emotion
Twist and turn
Unable to take the blade
Unable to cope
I'm here
Beyond insanity
There's a calm
Before the storm
And it will be well worth
The end
Is near
Is this best
I will be missed
For but a millisecond
The world will move on
Vanishing within the day

What shall this bring

Shall I oppressed?
beaten down?
barely able comprehend, is it time?
To rise and shine
to ready this time
its the endless block of life
I am here
beaten to the ground
so much that my spirit is twisted
Am I me?
Within my destiny
shall I reap
I stand tall
to beat oppression
to stand for truth
Compassion is needed for this
walk within what we think is reality
To drift upon the universe I'm here
not knowing what is next
unable to control whats right even if proven wrong
here I within my destiny
to burn
to suffer
I suffocate until its time
do I define
what my reality is
and brings me near to death
knocking on a demons door
waiting to see who answers
death her self
Gasping suffocating oppressed
I am gone
I am not right...

Confusion of the heart

I half me
Stuck in this insanity
Is this what is me?
Within this reality
I'm lost I'm scared
I'm there
beyond repair
dare to stare
what is to be
I am me
even if I'm lost
stuck in the muck
the deep dank dark
Depression
Then sudden pain
that stings and burns
a stab to the heart
I'm Weak beyond repair
do I care?
dare to stare
I am me
stuck in this insanity
Raging on
ripping right through here
I'm in pieces
Barely there
I'm stuck in confusion
I'm free to be
me
even in the mind
I am confused
juggled
juggling sanity
does this define what is right
I'm barely me
what is my destiny
forget what is left
start anew
embraced confusion
let them stare
do I care
to stare beyond reality
I am me
barely hanging on

within this night

Here I am
within this time
as its endless
to forget
in the bliss
is it worth while?
now is a time
to be
within the insanity
calm before the storm
I feel that this is destiny
with making a deal with the old devil
is it right
in this night
as time goes throughout the bliss
do i dismiss
within this
I'm stuck deep in this emotion
to be buried
in my own personal hell
as i push and twist and turn those around me
i want to be with them
but the emotion rips
and tears
and let the tears swell up
to burn the skin gently so
I am here
being me
stuck in the insanity of thy mind
do i define
what is mine
personal hell
I'm here
near and dear to the heart
why must this be!
what shall I do?
but to ponder as the sunsets
and when she arises
the time has reset
another day another deed
will this suddenly be reality
is this my destiny
perhaps its time to be
here I am being
this is right
within the time of the day
I can cope
barely here
lost in the abyss of the bliss

Trapped in Time

To ponder upon reality
To look within the mist
As my railroad
Comes to an end
In this cycle of life
I'm here
Screaming with the insanity
Here I am
Within my Destiny
Here being
Within the rage
Razor Sharp emotions
To rip and tear
My every being screams
Is it time
To be
Within this destiny
That hate is here
I scream
That I am
Free
To be
Free
To be
Insane
Insanity is a must
That I ponder upon time
All there is it's time
Never ending
On going
Endless
Trapped
Within the solitude
To begin
Again and again
Here that I am
Wanted
Needed
Heard
Speak up!

Dift within the Bliss

To swift in the light fate of the heart
I am here
One to be
Like is this destiniy
of the bliss
for if I miss
I dift
ever so lightly
To jerk right to striaght down to the left
For the night is bright
Must I dismay
That perhaps I shall cave
To fall
To sink
Fall into the sunken abyss
What shall I do?
Is it right?
Perhaps
I'm here

Bottle me up
Here I am
Within the mist
Swallowing darkness

Burning flesh
Here I am
Repeating
As each tear drips
To burn the skin
More than that dancing flame

Bury me up
Suffocate now
I don't want to feel
For the boundaries
Are fleeing
Here I am
Vulnerable as I can be
Within this destiny
I am me
Free
Alone
Dead
Reborn

Here I am
With my barriers defeated
To put a boundary up
Its needed
Time to scream
With the destiny
Am I me
Shall I reap
This must be
Fate

Rerun

To run
To be free
Is this my destiny?
I am here standing
Ready to take the leap
Is it for joy?

Here standing at the edge of the abyss

Ready for the fight
Instead I jump into flight
Run be free
Scream in the insanity
this must be
What is meant to be

I scream
For my cure
Deep breaths
To the thorax
to balance the Chi

I here this must be my fate
stuck in a rut
able to cope
But stuck within the flesh

Sunken within the midst of the abyss

I suffocate
What shall be?
Is this what destiny is?
Why must you forsaken me?

Will this be
what is meant to be
within this insanity
For Clarity
is meant to be

To be reborn
for the fate

As I drift within the footprints in the sand

Time is set
Time will tell
What is meant to be?
In this clarity!

To Share

We the people are destined here
As each voice is heard Beyond repair
Shall I care?
As each one shouts out like it's nothing but short of real life
Some of us have hit rock bottom
Somewhere up to the brim
And some so Beyond repair
Thought I stare
So I truly care
I shout out loud
As those eyes stare at me
To shout and let it all out
I have a testimony of my mind is here
Has one voice is heard many will be repeated beyond their repair
So we stare
Truly to care
Are we stuck in the Bliss
Within the mist of the abyss
A beacon of light is here near and dear to the heart
United we stand
Never alone
Never to fall to the ground
But the float within the abyss within all the Bliss
Small wisp in this time
As we stay
Within the light
To shout and let it all out
To share...

On the way to Light

Basking in the light
I am here, near and dear
Where am I to start
To feel a sense of reborn
Within the light
Sunlight is near and dear
To bask in the glory of blistering stars
ever so lightly, dare i say inspire
My thoughts drift into the unknown
the abyss that's with the midst of insanity
Where to look from here
Am I meant to be?
Am I right. within this light?
That's sense to be within this insanity
Darkness follows me
Is within me
One can not be within light without a little darkness
Shes breaths within this unity
AM I me?
Within this light
I feel like part of me have had been drifted
Drifted in this light as what was before
The majority of that being was the darkness in the abyss
It was sickening
Hitting a rock bottom
Revive me
I'm here to be me
within this Light
I stair upon thee
This must be me
Ready for the lift
Into the abyss
so longer sunken
But full of Bliss
In the abyss
Unknown is what is next

Current

Lost once again
In this bliss
Of de abyss
A current runs throughout my soul
Does it define me
Unable to comprehend hope
Here I am
Standing in absolute bliss
Does this define me
This current
Brings destiny near to me
Shall I stand
Staring down into the abyss
Until bliss
I am here
Free to be me
Even within the insanity
Balanced at once
Time to be
Just to see
Within this insanity
I am here being
What shall be my destiny
As the current runs through me
To bring me to my knees
I scream within my destiny
That is time to say
That I am me
Within that hour glass
As the sand shifts
I drown
Suffocated to the max
Falling until the sanity breaks reality
What am I?
I am free to be me
Within the destiny
Of the insanity
That current runs through me
That is that it's meant to be
Is this the end?
Only time will tell...

Destiny

I feel so lost
Stuck in this reality
Beyond the mind
I'm here to be me, free in the insanity
Unable to cope
I'm stuck
Coping for the weak
Unable to hope
I'm free to be me
I am lost
What shall I do
I reap
My soul
Unable to cope
I'm here
Sitting under cloud 9
Deep down into the ground
Standing at the head light
I'm here
Free to be
Standing hoping wanting
Anything you see
Is my destiny!

Pain

Where am I?
An I safe?
How can this be?
I'm suppose to be at peace
Instead I'm stuck
Beyond repair
Living in hell
In these walls
They creep
And appear
Staring so softly
Stress induced
I am me
Shall I leap?
Is it my destiny?
Help for me
Beyond reality
I dream of a peace
A serenity
Here I am
Not safe as I can be
Stuck in chaos of the heart
Where am I?
In hell indeed
Nothing's right

Safety Zone

Safety safety
Where am I?
Safety safety
Am I?
Where the chaos
Unable to cope
Safety safety
Here I am
Unable to cope
That I am
Watching softly
There they lie
Safety safety
Here I am
Safety safety
Unable to cope
Here I am
Staring softly
Chaos here
Near and dear
Safety safety
Am I?
They watch
Ever so gently
Chaos in the heart
As tears drop
Burning every so deeply
Here I am
Within the chaos
Time will tell
What is right?
In this night?
Safety safety
Here I am
Within these walls
No more hope
No more deeds
Safety safety
I am me

What Time Tells

If I would change
What would I be?
There's demons inside
As I stand in front of the mirror
My reflection changes me
I stand in this reality
Can I cope?
What will bring the hope inside the heart?
My every being aches for Peace
I reckon it's for me
In this insanity
I am here
Free to be me
This reality
Redeems my spirit
To walk through the valley of disaster
Wrecking havoc on my heart
I'm done I'm finished
Am I strong enough
To conquer the darkness
To not only win the battle but the war
Chaos in the heart
I'm stuck here
Counting Stars
Unable to stop
I'm here
I'm free
To be in this reality
Perhaps time will tell
Have some Hope
It may save yourself
Or another...

Beyond Reality

I feel as though I'm a burden
Am I worked my worthless?
Are they right
Shall I fight for what's right
My mind is corrupted
Beyond time
Perhaps when I do the deadly deed
Maybe some silence for once
I'm stuck
Down right chaotic
I am unable to cope

I'm stuck here
So called safe zone
I wreck my every being
Stuck in the insanity
Am I free?
To be me
Stuck in the abyss
Trying to scrape by
Up the wrecked walls
Up to Cloud 9
Beyond time
Is this bliss?
Do I miss?
Beyond reality
Above the abyss
Have I left this plain?
Am I dead
Do I dread?
To fall to reality
In today's society
I am here
In the safe zone
Only to be
Stuck in insanity
Am I free?
To be me...

Chaos of the Heart

Here I am
Upon the end
On a railroad to the end
Hit a road block
Here I am
Standing near the edge
Ready my blade
Here I come
Until fate arises
I am here
For this time
I am done
No more fighting no more hate
No more emptiness
I'm dead
Time to tell
To confess
I am right?
Within this night
Upon this time
I am safe
I confess that I can't escape
Perhaps this will pass
Only to arise
Hold my breath
To pass out
Falling into darkness
Upon this night
I'm finished
If I was not here
I would be dead
Upon this time
I am dead
I am angry
I am free
To be me
In this insanity
The chaos is here
In thy heart
Rip tear rip
I'm in pain
The to fret
Upon this day

Fright

Panic in the air
Uncertainty do I dare
I surely do not care
Is he right?
Am I wrong?
Time to care
Did I stare?
Upon the time
To the chaos
Do I dare
Upon the night
Do I fret
Within thy mind
Do we expand
Beyond the abyss
Within the mist
Standing near the ledge
To take a pledge
Upon these faces
Do they care?
Time to stare
Shame to the heart
Devour the night
For the fright
Rip slash burn
Here I am
Upon the night
Is a fright
Perhaps I shall die...

Deadly deed

Sitting here pondering upon the day
Wondering into thy mind
Shall I take thy life
It's not worth while
Upon the starry sky do I deny
As I feel this frustration of the times
For this surely is the time
Did not deny
I shall do
A dirty deed
With the insanity
I'm stuck in a rut
What must I do
Shall I feel
These emotions rapture my heart
Shall I be redeemed
Within the insanity
Of my mind
I do not deny
Within thy heart
Do I breath
My final breath
I suffocate to the max
On the railroad to the end
Shall I do this dirty deed
Until I breath
Shall I be...

Memories

I touch your soothe surface
As it ruptures my heart
Seeing ever so gently to the soul
As the strings glisten so
To shine as the sun unto the smoothe surface
As each string is strung
Within my heart I hung
Soft feelings glistening thy heart
I am here
Listening
So softly
The music the tune the melody
Why must it be this way
As each tear burns so gently so
The sense of old is here
As you strum the brass
A melody
Brings whisps
Something long forgotten
A sense of scent
A strong whiff of destiny
That surrounds me
Fresh air
Hope is there
I hold you in my arms
Feeling so close to you
Perhaps we will meet again

Wrath

I sit here pondering to thee
Pondering within the insanity
That conquers the heart ever so
More than reality
Unable to hear the angel's call
I sink down to the depressive state of thy mind
An I in this reality
As whispers stop me
From being me
I'm stuck in the mist
Pondering upon the Stars
Is this reality I ask
Not to far
From my destiny
Within the chaos of the desire
I call out
For the wrath
To devistate me
To burn to tarnish
My soul is far from me
My spirit has left me
I don't feel as though I am me
I'm someone else
Far from me
Stuck in the insanity
Fear of the Unknown
Shall I walk the edge
Shall I follow them
As each one plummets
To fall into the abyss
What is left?
Rage slumbers
Only to quickly arise
To twist and turn what reality is
To ruin destiny
To make everyone leave
Lonely indeed
Loneliness surely causes havoc in the heart
I don't want to be
But here I am
Within this destiny
As the sun sets
Insanity arises
With the starry night
Do I reckon
What is right?
Within the light
Only time will tell
Until again
Another day within fake reality

Losing but wanting to live

Darkness has clouded my heart
Unable to cope
The rage goes on
What is the point?
What is wrong?
Am I in the right
In this night
Is it worth it
Are they right?
Can no one accept me
Tick tock tick tock
The hourglass of Life goes on
As the sand turns the tide
I'm lost within the rage
And with that the tears burn me ever so
And the voices burden me evermore
I'm downright gone
Into the abyss of darkness
Truly this night is not the night
Not tonight for light
Will darkness conquer my soul
Shroud the darkness Within
Give in they say
Am I worthless?
Shall I do the deed?
Within this insanity
I'm lost within the abyss of the mist
To fight the darkness or to conquer the heart
What is right?
In this night
Knock knock on hearts door
Blow the candle out
The darkness shrouding the light
Unable to cope
I write
I want the blade
I want the flame
I want deaths door
What is the point of no one can accept me for me
I'm within this insanity
Chaos is here
For this time in the abyss
Shall I set the list
Within the mist
Take the pill
To be calm and chill
To recognize
What is wrong
What is correct
To cope
To hope
To win the war

Rage on

The rage goes on
Internal fire in the heart
Burns ever brightly
Upon the chaos of the heart
I'm lost in the insanity
I'm lost within the rage
Unable to cope
I feel myself
Lose myself
Haunt myself
In this everlasting terrany
Shall the rage conquer my heart
It rips and turns
I feel it in my arms
As the blood flow goes to my fists
Do not test me
I do not care for your tardiness
Unable to compare
What is frightened this night
Shall the rage burn on
All I want to do is burn
Ignite the night
I'm done
I'm gone
I'm not right
I'm in the wrong
Unable to cope
I'm here
Not for long...

Hunger

Hunger is here
The issues are
Not wanting to consume
But as the body aches
I waste
I'm here
But want to be gone
Every emotion runs through me
To devastation
Unable to bear
Such hate
I'm unable
I'm not right
I'm gone
Not yet Dead
Not yet alive
Purgatory here
Well I conquer the heart
Will I be able to cope
To build the skills
To withdraw from the pills
As they do more damage than good
What is the point
One year one month one day
It's all the same
Here being me
With this tarnished reality
The hunger goes on
But the desire lacks
Will I cope
Or float
Upon this day
I mourn me
From this Insanity
That's is my destiny
Here I am
On 36
Will they help
Only if your can turn the tide
Ride the wave
Have positivity
But I sink
As every emotion that there bears me  tares me down to insanity
Can I comprehend what hope is And  overbear the hopelessness
I'm here
Hungry
Wanting to devour
I'm me in this insanity
Please listen to me so I can bear this reality

As the tide turns

Tick tock tick tock
It's near the end
I'm here there everywhere
Will this ever end
I'm standing beyond the abyss
Upon this night I'll surely miss
I'm disoriented beyond control
Why am I here
Why must I be
Within this Insanity
I'm dieing one way or another
You cannot stop me
Even if you wanted to my mind is up
I'm here
#36
Once again
I'm barely consumed anything
I'll waste away
One way or another
Beyond my mind drifts
Whispers conquer my heart
Will I submit?
Perhaps
It's possible
You think not 36
I'll win this war
But disaster will burden reality
I'm beyond rationality
In this insane brain
Will I be reality
Ready the flame
Pour the petroleum
Cut the pain
The life line
I'm lost
I'm fearful beyond control
I shake from this
I'm giving up
No time for me
It surely will come
Absolute Truth
The one true
Knocking on heavens door
For but a glimpse
But down I go
Blissful gone
Torture
Pain
Hurt
Suffering
Is life
For now
I'm here
Safe as I can be
Some rationality
Afterall
I'm here
I'm free
To be me
Even within this reality of insanity

done

Nearly gone
At a life source
Will he help
Will he dismiss
will he conquer
will he win
unable to know
I wait and wait
until the end
nearly there
almost gone

Almost Gone

It builds up
So much
I'm about to explode
Take the blade to my skin
Cut the life line
I'm  near the end
Unable to comprehend
what is in the right
Am I wrong?
Am I near the right?
Shall I fight?
I'm defeated
I cope
but its no longer manageable
I burn
To turn the tide
As it moves
inside and out
until the night is here
I'm nearly gone
nearly dead
is this truth
am I right?
Perhaps not tonight
perhaps another night
be prepared for a fight
for there will be a fright
in the night
until there is nothing left
I'm on my way
to the end
What is the point
The insanity overbears
nothing helps
I'm lost
I'm gone
I'm dead
I'm free
Finally...

Crumble

Who are we
But stuck in this insanity
I bear witness
That I am no longer me
I no control over the emotions
They burden me so
As each tear drop burns my skin gently so
I'm left bearing my heart my sleeve
within the insanity
Time unfold into the abyss
unable to cope
I turn to the flame
Unable to reach
I'm here lost in the abyss that's falling in the mist
Each word that hits me
Tarnishes me so
I'm far from me
I'm someone else
I need to be free
Its my destiny
But I'm lost
Not yet gone
Still here
Crying begging for it to stop
To Halt
But as the mins turn to hours
its nearly 2pm
and i just want to end
they end
the absolute truth
but something keeps me
at bay
Its the heart that burns ever so
Light has not dimmed
because I'm still here
within the cycle of chaos
wanting out
rapping on the door
screaming letting me
Let me out of the abyss
Until another day
within the insanity
must I say
beyond the flame
Beyond the blade
Within the insanity
that brings harmony
for but a moment
then the despair conquers the heart
until nothingness
is there
I'm lost
not yet dead
Trying to survive
as I Crumble...

Beyond this abyss

Hopelessness lingers
Until the abyss
Is beyond the brim
Beyond repair
I stare
I'm there
Here to stay
As each dream turns from wonder to reality
I'm left pondering
With such fate
Will be able to bring the patterns of chaos to a halt
Until the times folds
I'm left pondering into the nights darkness
as insomnia burdens me
1am 2am 5am
I'm still here
Laying in my bed
Wandering into thy mind
upon time
I don't like these feelings
I'm barely me
stuck in this insanity
I ponder into the abyss
not loosing sight
for what right
Light
Hope
Peace
Serenity
this is for me
within my destiny
one can hope so anyways
until again

Upon this morning

Knock knock its 4am
Sitting on the bed
Breaths in and out
Until I'm dead
Unable to cope until death
Here I am
Pondering upon a wondrous time
Bring me to tears
Upon my fears
What will come
Until the End
Here I am being
This might be upon the end
I want to strive until I'm dead
Bring in the peace
Even within the darkness there is light
Its a knockin, on the hearts door.
Screaming let me in
Upon this day
I ponder
Bring in the hope
For the day
Uncertain what will bring the day
When I'm ready
I am here
To care for you
Before me
Because I'm free
Free to be
Even with this insanity
Insane in the membrane
I am here to stay
For now anyways

Wrecked

I've wrecked havoc on my heart
My emotions run rampid on desires
Old thoughts arise
A blade that is hidden is revealed
Shall I take it and move into the delicate skin
Letting the crimson blood flow
Hitting the floor gently so
Unable to comprehend what is right
Sharp turns of flame
Bubble and burn
Scorched tarnished
Ever so
What will come
This out come of hopelessness

Time will tell
If the mania wins
If the depression consumes
That the people condemn
One Friend
Two friend
One less two less
Three four
Here I am
Loneliness kills
Unable to cope
I bend and break
For the pressure is to tiring

What will this be year bring

Under pressure
Under insanity
Under anger
Hopelessness
Sets in

Light comes a knockin

Will I let her in

Time is endless
I'm here pondering
Brooding away the desires

Am I in the right?

Or am I wrong for this desire?

Time will tell
What is right
Here I am
Worrying
Panicking
Wondering
Pondering
Thinking
Until next time
Wandering into the night sky
Insomnia that bends my will
I'm lost
But not yet done